marriage help: Just plain fed up… As you know I have been sticking by - Help.com

trustme31
offline Verified (2 years, 2 months) Visit trustme31's shoutbox
Rockford, IL, US

Just plain fed up…

As you know I have been sticking by my husband with his addiction, rather seeking out treatment for his addiction.After a month we are still waiting on a bed for rehab due to it being state funded because we have no insurance, I don’t know much about his addiction(shoots cocaine) so I try to understand, as his sponsor talked to me alittle bit about it, advised me no matter how much he does not want to use, he will till he is in rehab for the drug has him. So for a few weeks I tried to understand, told him to come to me when he is in trouble and we would get through it together if we had to sit up all night. Well that went out the door, cause he just waits for me to go to sleep and does his thing. I quetion him on it and once again the lies. This past saturday I confronted him with his baggy he dropped. He admitted and told me he was sorry.(again)I forgave(again) I know he used last night and I am so fed up I could spit in his face. But really who do I have to be mad at but myself…I feel like I enable him to use and use me. If rehab does not have his bed ready this Friday, I am afraid I am done with him for good, 16 years of marriage doesn’t matter anymore. Sorry for the long post, I am so mad I can’t even see straight. Thanks for the ear guys.

This open post was written 2 years, 2 months ago | V/U/S: 388, 4, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post trustme31 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. trustme31 is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 2 months and has 4 posts and 29 replies to their name.

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Cocaine, marriage, Insurance, state, sleep, Ear, Door, addiction, Month, Friday (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (4)

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Lux.Aeterna offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 2 months ago (1 hour, 15 minutes after post)

I think you need to just say coke or me. I don’t know, but if you live in MN for a certain time period you can get free rehab. That has to be so frustrating, but I think you need to just say it. Good luck, and I am so sorry. Drugs really mess up so many people’s lives. The 16 years of marriage still matters it’s not like you guys didn’t have fun (I hope) or anything. I guess at least you are realizing what you need to do. Be proud of that. My best friend’s bf got mixed up in meth, and he drug her down… and she still doesn’t do anything about it. So the fact you are aware and doing something says a lot.

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trustme31 offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
Rockford, IL, US | 2 years, 2 months ago (22 hours, 1 minute after post)

Thanks for the advice. I know it is up to me to change my own life. No body to blame but myself for misery. Our marriage was great till this came into his life. Now it’s hell, but when you live with an addict, you soon forget the good times. I thank you for the ear.

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MoniDew offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 8 months ago (6 months after post)

if that tiny one you are holding ever comes across one of his baggies… his life is in danger. You need to find somewhere else to live until he is completely 100% well!!!

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themole9 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 4 weeks ago (1 year, 7 months after post)

Does an obsession to be, not just well off, not just wealthy, but filthy stinking rich, to the point that he would risk it all - me, the kids, home, security, freaking hot water - the clothes on MY back that are now tattered and torn - the kids have nothing to wear but about 3 worn out outfits from last year or earlier, but not husband - he has more clothes than anyone. He contributes in the home and family about 12%. Does this count as an addiction? It feels like it only there is no rehab for greedy mother (email removed) that will take their spouse and kids to the fiery depths of financial hell not once, but as many times as it takes for HIM to strike gold or die trying.

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