Love help: do i have to change myself ? - Help.com

the thing is, your way of showing your affection for someone is very uniqe. and thats not a bad thing, its just, tell me someone you know that gives a rose to a girl every day?

its lovely that you do that, but most women today are very indepentant. some people just dont like that type of thing.

you dont have to change though, you will one day find a woman that will love that type of affection. i think its cute though. its very sweet how you show the girl you love how much you love her.

I’m a guy and I have no clue exactly what women want in a man but, I notice that in the beginning of a relationship I am always the one showing more affection. This tends to push girls away for some reason. I don’t give them roses every day but, I might get them a couple small gifts here and there.

Maybe girls find it annoying constantly being reminded of your presence. Although they may enjoy being with you they may not want you with them 24/7. Again I’m not a professional when it comes to the ladies. Don’t do anything to drastic.

Okay, those aren’t necessarily the real things that most women want. Those are movie things. A man that treats his girlfriend like that, can be perceived as being weak. And women don’t want a guy they perceive as being weak. That’s just evolution.
Sure, a rose every day, as something sweet you do between the 2 of you is fine. But not on top of poems and songs and musical dedications. It can make a girl feel like you’re trying way too hard and that’s a red flag and smart women pay attention to red flags.

Maybe you’re not really doing those things for her…maybe you’re doing them for you.

First of all, you are not showing her your love. You are showing her your romantic feelings. Here is what the word romantic means marked by fanciful, feverant, adventurous, strong affection. After being married 40 years, you won’t be that way anymore, probably. Romance feelings come and go. If they are that intense at the beginning of a relationship, they probably after some time, will become that intense for another girl later in life.

Secondly, I agree with anon saying that it can also be perceived as weak, but would cavet that by saying, for some women. Some women like guys that are aloof, mysterious, where they cannot figure out what he is feeling, and other women like to know every single feeling in his heart. You probably need to find that later.

Thirdly, some women would perceive this as obession and be scared off. The way I would approach it is to when you feel those feelings towards someone next time. Tell them once, don’t over do it, then ask them if they like being doted on or if that would seem too obsessive. I think all girls like honesty.

wow you realy dont need to change the way you are ,hope it will stay with you for ever….

I think that it’s absolutely adorable, but some girls feel awkward receiving that kind of attention earlier on in a relationship. Don’t change completely, but try backing off just a bit. After a while, you can gradually add back the rose-on-the-doorstep, moonlight-serenading gestures that I guarantee she’ll love. :)

I had a boyfriend who bought me flowers every time he went out, because it was such a beautiful gesture when we first started dating, but after a while I found it depressing because the flowers died…he’d get me little gifts here and there, play music that he thought was ‘us’.

Those tokens however don’t express his thoughts or plans. I asked him to share his thoughts—and he never did. He never really opened up, the romanticized life isn’t enough sometimes.

Right, it’s not weakness, but it can be perceived that way. Which is why it could cause friction in your relationships. Did you break up with the 2 girls because they had a problem with your romantic gestures? Or are you still with the last girl? The thing is, with women, it doesn’t matter how you want them to feel because that’s not something you control. But that’s the way you’re supposed to feel when you’re in love, like your girl is the most important thing…you just can’t control the way the other person feels.

I don’t know. I am the same way and my girlfriend of 14 months just left me because she said she didn’t love me anymore. no reason, just that she didn’t love me anymore. Your description of how you treat your girlfriends sounds exactly the way i treated Lauren. Being this way makes breakups that much harder, but don’t change the way you are. Just move on and you will find that perfect someone.

ye i think u show abit to much emotion, try cutting down on it as after a while girls just find it boring no offence