school help: I have problems at home. - Help.com

Oh Gosh! I am sorry! It sounds like you are an incredibly mature person and that you’ve been burdened much too much much too early…I wish I had some magical solution. Please try to keep your chin up. If you need someone to talk to, I am available as well.

You sound like the perfect family member in a family that doesn’t respect that properly.

Your problems seem to stem more from the work you take on for yourself. I never did housework, never got good grades (and my intelligence is through the roof)… and life continued.

You want to get away from the stress of being around your family and all the work, but you don’t want to run away. You need to realise there’s a middle ground. You should not be solely responsible for keeping everything ticking along nicely. You need to relax the responsibilities you charge yourself with, especially considering your health considerations.

In the same way you make considerations for other people, you should expect, nay - DEMAND, that for yourself. In another family you would be the one looked after, not the houseworker.

It may, at first, feel like you’re not going any productive… but keeping yourself happy and taking time to rest is essential to working full tilt the rest of the time. Nothing is more important than maintaining your mental and physical health. Discharge a few obligations and see how you manage. If someone demands you take them back up, tell them to stop being hypocritical.

Yeah, you really should take a bit of time for yourself. There are area you can cut back just a bit in. Straight A’s are nice and all, but they aren’t a necessity, especially if you feel like the effort is killing you. A few B’s never hurt anybody. And I know your mom works hard and all, but so do you, and you need to work out something where you share responsibility equally.

Maybe take a mental health evening once a week. Prioritize your homework and skimp on some of the less essential stuff every once in a while. Just make sure you keep a B. (You can even talk to teachers and/or a counselor and get them to cut you a little bit of a break). Fridays and Weekends, of course, may have some good pockets of time in there. Take advantage of that and pamper yourself when you can!

“If my mother isn’t screaming at me to do it, I get the fear that she will, so I get up and do it anyway.”

She has no right to scream at you if you’re already doing so much. I know plenty of mothers who would do a job AND all the jobs you give yourself, so she cannot be considered exempt from responsibility.

“She made sure that I wasn’t overwhelmed and things… but… it’s all changed. We’re back to square one.”

That’s the problem. You have to ensure it doesn’t slip back. This may mean confrontation, but it’s better than long-term problems and having it slip to a point at which you’re too scared to deal with it.