dont think your fat normaly people get to think thinks like u because of their surroindings in another word dont let anyone make u belive your fat and if u think ur fat then try an extrecise program “:)
Don’t lose weight to be accepted, but if you think you would feel physically better, there’s nothing wrong with that. And without going too far and losing too much weight, a little boost of confidence from being thinner and healthier is always good. :) Just make sure you do it for yourself, not because of what people think of you.
I don’t know what to say except that “thinking you’re fat” is always a delusion. Don’t listen to it. A truely fat person doesn’t “think” they’re fat, they know it.
wow you’re very exotic in that picture. I like it.
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i like mittens wrote:
Don’t lose weight to be accepted, but if you think you would feel physically better, there’s nothing wrong with that. And without going too far and losing too much weight, a little boost of confidence from being thinner and healthier is always good. :) Just make sure you do it for yourself, not because of what people think of you.
thats the problem, in a way i want to lose weight to be accepted and its driving myself up the wall. I made that mistake before and when i got skinny i felt worse off. and all i was doing was pushing my friends away as a result, rather than accepting me!
ggnorwweebbtthgimm.i wrote:
I don’t know what to say except that “thinking you’re fat” is always a delusion. Don’t listen to it. A truely fat person doesn’t “think” they’re fat, they know it.
wow you’re very exotic in that picture. I like it.
Thanks. yeh, ur right, it prob is a delusion!
Gaz wrote:
in wat way are your breasts giving u pain?? wat size of bra? :P lol
Im an f/g size, im trying to get breast reduction. I want to lose weight so my breasts don;t give me so much pain for the meantime…
broderickgoug wrote:
you are fat tho
and thanks lol. im very complimented.
Well, you really don’t look fat on this picture anyway, so I guess you shouldn’t lose weight especially if it’s made you feel bad in the past. Breast reduction is probably a better option if it’s your main problem and if it’s to the point that it’s too painful.
well, i feel i have a fat body.
i want breast reduction but im gonna have to wait a while. they are very painful and i have to wear a bra at night. its harder to breathe as well. its also a nightmare finding bras that fit and i can never wear the pretty ones they sell in shops.
i want to lose weight to reduce the pain, just its hard.
first of all.. you look amazing! you are not fat and having big breasts is sexy! ;)
How can put photo on here?
[url=http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=587353&showlnk=0][img]http: //img4.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/587/587353-holder-3178fd8c8f6c484731cf74 4d6beb1893.jpg[/img][/url]
the dark purple dress is me
well, anyway. i keep thinking ill be liked and accepted by people more if im thinner. I don’t know why :( but it just affects my relationship with people because i make such an issue bout it.
how old are you? (if you dont mind me asking)
Anonymous
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2 years, 1 month ago (1 hour, 1 minute after post)
Well, I think that when you are uncomfortable with yourself, others can pick up on that, like a vibe you give off. But if you just loved yourself no matter your size, others will be drawn to that.
You’re such a cute girl. And really, if you’re only accepted by more people because you’re thinner, are those really the type of people you want to be accepted by?
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im 20
yeh, other people do pick it up! and what u say is so true anonymous! u don;t have to be anonymous. :)
and its true, i keep asking myself are these people worth it if they want me to be perfect. but i dunno, i still have a problem with it!
I really struggle to like myself and because of that i ended up in mental hospital 2005.
I also create a perfect image of some1 who i hadn;t seen in ages whos ‘perfect’, but will only like me if im perfect myself. but i know if i met up with him, he’d pick up my insecurity and it wud push him away. he also also quite vain and i feel threatened by that. and its like im not good enough for some1 who is perfect within my mind. i create expectations on myself.
sometimes i feel i don’t look good enough, but im not sure its just about appearance. its just im not good enough for something perfect.
he is also quite vain* (in reality)
i think its because i create him perfect within my mind and he’ll judge me because hes supposedly ’so great’. when really im making it all up.
but i don;t think it had anything to do with him. i struggle to like myself. so i wish to be perfect.
I know exactly how you feel…I’m anon, by the way. I knew a guy that made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him because I didn’t meet up to his checklist of what a woman needed to have in order to be in his company. And it did a number on me big time. I even considered breast implants because he felt women looked better with them.
But I just decided one day, screw em…there is no way that a guy is ever going to dictate my happiness or how much I love myself. Sometimes you have to give to yourself, what others don’t.
Vanity is usually covering up a major insecurity inside someone.
And we all do that, create these perfect images of what we think someone will be..why, who knows, maybe so when they let us down, we get to be right.
wow, that was an excellant move!
what type of insecurity would it be to be vain? knowing people will think that they are perfect?
how do u mean when they let us down?
Hun I can not wave a magic wand and make this feeling go away, but to think you are fat is kind of wrong, as so many women think it for the wrong reasons. Either someone that dislikes them has said it, someone said it out of anger, a male has said it but said it the wrong way to her or the woman is looking at herself wrong.
If you were fat, you would not be thinking it, you would just know that you are and trust me; I know that for a fact.
If I was you, I would try and see yourself a little more better than you do, ignore the people that call you fat and just be happy with yourself, like you should be, because I am sure me and others around you do not think you are fat.
As for your breasts, I would go and talk to a doctor about them and see what they suggest.
i did talk to a doctor and they recommended certain vitamins. they helped a bit but the oain is ongoing. they referred me to a seminar about breast reduction and i should be receiving an apointment soon for consultation.
No, they’re vanity is covering up the fact that they know, they have nothing more to offer so they run with what they’ve got…their looks.
Well, they let us down by not living up to our perfect image. But our subconscious knows that no one can live up to it…so when they inevitably don’t…we get to be right that we weren’t good enough, or pretty enough or skinny enough.
Does that make sense? I don’t blame you if you say no.
Well I hope the appointment goes well for you :)
Not saying you are, but if you are…do not worry about it, they are professionals, they know what they are saying and doing to you.
Quite difficult to see if you are big chested in your photo. Maybe go to the gym to tone your body and improve your posture. Your breasts might be painful because of poor posture, unsupportive bra, raging hormones. But if you really are a F/G breast reduction should help.
You’re only too fat if it interferes with your ability to physically exercise and do your activities. Everyone is fatter or thinner than someone else.
complicated wrote:
No, they’re vanity is covering up the fact that they know, they have nothing more to offer so they run with what they’ve got…their looks.
Well, they let us down by not living up to our perfect image. But our subconscious knows that no one can live up to it…so when they inevitably don’t…we get to be right that we weren’t good enough, or pretty enough or skinny enough.
Does that make sense? I don’t blame you if you say no.
well, i remember when i was at school there was this girl who was extremely vain. i got bullied a lot and she was one of the bullies. she once kept asking me, “Am I pretty? am I pretty?” to really irritate me, I said “no” and she reacted shocked and said, “WELL, I LOOK BETTER THAN YOU! HUH!”. Ironic she thinks people will think shes perfect and get accepted for it, but it just made me hate her and find her annoying.
Well, they let us down by not living up to our perfect image. But our subconscious knows that no one can live up to it…so when they inevitably don’t…we get to be right that we weren’t good enough, or pretty enough or skinny enough.
yeh, if i met the real guy who i created of a perfect image within me, id get disapointed. but i am abit confused! lol i want to understand though., thanks for trying!
Ya know, I’ve confused myself. It’s 4 am where I am…I plead sleep deprivation:)
I just mean that if there’s a part of us that doesn’t feel we truly deserve the person we’re with, for whatever reason, we can sabotage things, so that when the relationship doesn’t work, we get to say, yep…I was right, I wasn’t good enough. And people like to be right. And we can do that with personal relationships or friends.
And yeah, that girl bullied you because it gave her a perceived power. I personally think the meaner the bully,the more they dislike themselves on the inside.
I also think, that you’re extremely bright, you’re beautiful, you’re getting an education, which you know will lead to a fabulous career doing something you love, and all those people that you felt didn’t think you were good enough because of some extra weight, will wish they could have you in their life.
That’s just my opinion, and I’m rarely wrong..hehe :)
Kay.felto
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GB | 2 years, 1 month ago (2 hours, 21 minutes after post)
Florence Please Please go for help to a doc don’t let them fob you off with tabs you need to talk to someone or it will drie you insane good luck
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wow, sometimes i stay up that late!
i think the more the person doesn;t like themselves, the less love they receive and allow into their lives. the more they push people away as a result.
how would we sabotage ourselves? make things worse for ourselves?
if we feel we don;t deserve some1 is it because you want to be perfect and think they’re not good enough, or is it the other way round?
they’re not good enough for you, or you’re not good enough for them? whats the difference?
and complicated, i think ur bright.
Kay.felto
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GB | 2 years, 1 month ago (2 hours, 33 minutes after post)
broderickgoug - don’t be so awful as to tell people they are fat look at yourself in the mirror and think about what it’s like to have low self esteem - have you got no feeling for anyone??
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Getting fit isn’t bad at all. Go to a Gym and ask if you’re abnormal in any way. If your not.. then you have your answer!
Kay.felto wrote:
broderickgoug - don’t be so awful as to tell people they are fat look at yourself in the mirror and think about what it’s like to have low self esteem - have you got no feeling for anyone??
lol. I knew some1 was gonna bring that up at some point lol. it was just a matter of waiting for it to happen lol
Well, I think it’s more that we may feel they’re perfect and we’re not good enough for them so we sabotage things by creating problems or issues that aren’t really there forcing a distance in the relationship. Which would then just confirm that we weren’t good enough. Kinda like a self fulfulling prophecy.
But, I guess it could be that too, that the perfection you want, may not be there in the other person either so you don’t want it rubbing off on you in a bizarre way. (all perception of course) Like you are the company you keep…so you push away.
I guess either way there is no difference. Because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfects boring anyway. Our flaws are what’s fun.!
Yeah, I’m a total night owl…I only sleep a few hours a day.
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complicated wrote:
Well, I think it’s more that we may feel they’re perfect and we’re not good enough for them so we sabotage things by creating problems or issues that aren’t really there forcing a distance in the relationship. Which would then just confirm that we weren’t good enough. Kinda like a self fulfulling prophecy.But, I guess it could be that too, that the perfection you want, may not be there in the other person either so you don’t want it rubbing off on you in a bizarre way. (all perception of course) Like you are the company you keep…so you push away.I guess either way there is no difference. Because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfects boring anyway. Our flaws are what’s fun.!Yeah, I’m a total night owl…I only sleep a few hours a day.
yeh, we create our own problems. a desire to be perfect wudn’t do ourselve any favours or the other people around. why dream for perfect anyway? to be accepted? we want to feel safe and wanted? to be loved? oh, it is so confusing!
perfection doesn;t actually exist, true. people are just insecure and want to do everything right?
yeh, our flaws can be good if we allow them to be.
I just received by post today my consultation appointment for breast reduction. :)
It is confusing. The entire world is confusing and that’s must mean! :)
Oh, that’s cool. I hope it goes well for you. Every woman I know that’s had it done has been really happy with it. Getting rid of the pain really changed their moods.
yeh. well there is this guy i rejected at school. i liked him, and well, i rejected him and got off him at one point. he put in the effort to get to know me but he never lived up to my unrealistic expectations which is hardly surprising for me now lol cos i have more of a self realisation. well, anyway after months after not seeing him i created a perfect image of him within my mind again. and he loved my for the perfect creation i made of myself too.
well, anyway, it carried on over a year and a half and i became VERY INSECURE AND MISERABLE because I could never live up to my own expectations. after that year and a half (which gave me extremely rediculous unreal visualisations) i managed to get in contact with him via the net and he picked up my problems quite quickly and it affected our online discussions. i lost loads of weight and tried to ‘perfect’ myself and became depressed and vulnerable.
I had a psychiatric episode and become mentally unwell. i thought he’d commit suicide (wasn;t real, the illness made me think he wud). told mum to tell his mum. he said his mum was up in the middle of the night screaming. I also was quite obsessive and searching for him to apoligize because i thought god existed and would punish me if i didn’t. I scared him but i didn’t realise it. none of it was intentional. i didn;t know what i was doing. somebody called the ambulance and also the police picked me up. i was sectioned in hospital for a month. lol. i fully recovered 6 wks later.
But i don’t think what happened was anything to do with him, i just didn;t like myself.
that was 2005. but when he found out i was in hospital he was willing to unblock me.
I hadn;t seen him in person since. but i want to face him, not for him, but for me. i want to love myself enough to know that i made a mistake and it was ok and life wud be easier.
i would say go for the breast reduction. especially if it’s causing you pain. then you will be able to go on walks and hikes more, and just be more active in general. don’t think of it as you’re falling into what everyone else thinks by trying to lose a little weight. it honestly has nothing to do with that, exercising just makes you feel better, it makes your body work better.
i looked at the picture, and you aren’t big by any means. i think just be doing a few more active things it’ll make you feel better…and THAT’S all that matters. how you feel on the inside < 3
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shione
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GB | 2 years, 1 month ago (10 hours, 21 minutes after post)
If you are in pain, then I would say go for the breast reduction. I against cosmetic surgery but but I don’t see breast reduction to reduce pain as cosmetic.. I really wish you luck.
I totally relate to you about feeling fat and it affecting relationships. It’s so hard to stay firm and try to love yourself as you are when most of the world is telling you to change.
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else
means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” — ee cummings
But in my opinion, every time we give in and diet, we damage our self-esteem further because we are validating the idea that we aren’t good enough. Also, every time we diet, we lose the chance to be an inspiration for another woman struggling to love themselves. We were talking about Kate Winslet, Alanis on another post. These women inspire us to love ourselves as we are. I want to inspire my friends not drag them down into feeling not good enough (I don’t mean this in a preachy way.. I know how hard it is)
I think.. we should question the beauty standards we are being bombarded with, I think we should surround ourselves with role-models of all different sizes who are healthy to remind us beauty isn’t a size and learn our own beauty through theirs.
You are beautiful. Keep fighting.
Your not fat Florence, Jabba The Hut now that’s fat, also if your suffering physical pain then listen to doctors/surgeons cause they give the best advice and that will enable you to make an informed decision…p.s. Don’t forget Jabba fat Florence not.
girl u are actually very beautiful just saw your pik and wot u said think u just a bit paranoid you are really pretty i am shoked u think u are over weight i really dont think so somehow u are stunning
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u look great dont loose any weight unless ur doing it for ur self :)
You are who you are…..fabulous, beautiful,….I would say “stunning” and I know its obvious to others. Dont worry about it so much, truly. As far as the pain…..not female so cannot relate! Take care and have a great day!
yeh, i agree that losing weight would affect self esteem more. I had a problem in 2004/05 when i lost loads. but the most i lost, worst i felt. when i became what i wanted i was still pretty miserable.
I do hate the size of them appearance wise as well because a lot of clothes i like i can’t wear because it just doesn;t go. plus can;t wear nice bras. im glad im doing something about it. i just need the confidence to really go to have surgery. i feel its important to me and what i want.
thanks for responding.
maybe you lost an unhealthy amount? you say you lost loads and it doesn’t seem that you have loads to lose. if you felt pretty miserable you probably overworked your body.
i’m glad your doing something about it too. as far as the surgery goes, they have such good techniques for breast reduction surgery now. i’m sure you’ll be very pleased with the results. your doctor might even be able to let you talk to someone who’s already had the surgery, that might get rid of some of your fears.
good luck darling < 3
Flo, u r a beautiful, gorgeous, incredible, admirable and strong young woman, I dunno what kind of drunken ppl can differ, the only way I can think of is that they are jealous of you or retarded. I really really mean it.
Your health is the most important thing, more than money or anything else, you have to protect it. Please keep us updated with what goes on in the future about the surgery. You have all my best wishes and blessings as always.
Love ya! Plz take care of yourself and take it easy. **big hugs**
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camilita21 wrote:
Hey Flo ! something funny: while u are looking for breats reduction, am looking for breast augmentation ! lol…
Girl! you are fine, but whatever you do , just do it for yourself to make YOU happy :) !!
you want bigger boobs? why?!
If urs are small, i wud love to swap with you any day!
and im serious. big boobs make it hard, almost impossible, to find bras that fit, i get back, shoulder pain and its harder to breathe. i ALWAYS have to wear a bra at night plus they are very sensitve and hurt. they are too uncomfortable without a bra. god, i wish mine are smaller and more comfortable. then i could wear more clothes i like.
having a bath is a nightmare, cos feel ucomfortable. sometimes i end up in a bath for over an hour and a half because i hate getting out and coping with theur weight.
man. its a nightmare.
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have u thought about getting reduction surgury and from ur pictures on mysace ur a very atrractive girl
speed991 wrote:
have u thought about getting reduction surgury and from ur pictures on mysace ur a very atrractive girl
i did get reduction surgery. i got it free done from nhs
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