talk help: help me learn to talk to people - Help.com

hi there, would your insecurity mean jealous? or lacking self confidence?

im more than “lacking self-confidence”
i cant speak without feeling i’m an idiot, or not being judged negatively

here’s what i have found:
an article on ’social phobia’ or shyness when we are too worried that people might judge us unfairly. this limits us to speaking and engaging with others. thus, lacking self confidence.

Tips For Overcoming Shyness
Check out the tips in the article on self consciousness, particularly the ones to do with where you focus your attention.

* Practise becoming fascinated by other people. Ask them about themselves, and concentrate when they answer you. Remember what they tell you about themselves so you can talk about it later, or on another occasion.

* Great socialisers make other people feel comfortable and interesting. How do they do that? By being really, genuinely interested in other people. If you are talking to someone and you feel boring or inferior, ask why that is. Is it really all your fault?

* Practise using fewer ‘personal pronouns’ when you talk about things. Sentences beginning with ‘I’ are not only a turn-off for the listener, they also keep the focus of attention on you, which increases shyness. (Note: Of course, part of friendship is giving away things about yourself, but only when you feel it is appropriate to do so.)

* Remember that the way to overcome shyness is to focus elsewhere. Like on imagining what it will be like to really enjoy the social event, on how it will feel to be full of energy, or to be having a great conversation with someone.

The exercises and techniques contained within the Self Confidence Course should help with shyness because they focus on what to do to feel confident, rather than how to avoid feeling shy.

Overcoming shyness is about doing the things that allow you to enjoy social situations, not wondering why you feel shy! Good luck and I hope this article has been useful.

http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/shyn…

im also quite a shy fellow and find it difficult striken up conversations with other people

yea im having problems getting a girlfriend because i am very shy and i feel ill get judged badly