Love help: Im still in love with my ex! - Help.com

i’m in the same situation, man. don’t let these people tell you what to do; the jist of them will give you the “buck up and move on” speech. scew that. stand back and examine the situation. do you HONESTLY believe some part of her loves you? consider that your reasonable doubt and move on it. go about this on your own terms.

the first guy was right. It’s the butterfly syndrome. Let it go, if the two of you really share love, then you’ll find each other again. Love is cosmic, not carnal. Just let it be. I know your heart has a lot of anxious desire, but control it. You have to fall in love all over again. And if it’s true, it’ll be so much better this time. Why? Because this go around you won’t have to say, “If only I knew then what I now…” At the same time, try to remember that everyday is a learning experience, so you will never know everything. That’s what keeps a relationship strong and interesting–something new all the time.

The truth is always the best. Yes you should tell her BUT don’t make it sound like Oh My God i need you I love you. Just Simply say I’m still in love with you. Hell if its been 4 years then, yes you NEED to tell her. Thats love hun. If she doesnt feel the same way simply say ok thats fine. Try to seem as happy as possible when you talk to her as if you never told her that you loved her still. If you do act all depressed and sad and make her feel guilty then she’ll feel very uncomfortable being your friend. So just be honest. I dont know what the “other” issues are but if she is seeing someone else its going to be rare for her say shes still in love with you. But thats one of the risk your taking. In any of the ‘other’ issues. Its all risky!!! BUT STAY STRONG, HAPPY, and HONEST!

im in a diffrent situation me n my ex went out for about 2months we really loved each other.he broke up with me and said it was because of my freinds.about a month went by and we didnt speek then he starts texting me out of the blue but it was just regular things like whats up what are you up to and crap like that.i still like him but i dont know if he wants me but he so confusing one day he will be super nice the next he will ignore me i cant move on.i need someone to help me figure out my situation!!!HELP!!!!

I broke up with my ex of many years and am not longer in touch with him. But I still very much love him. There’s just no reason for me to be friends with him again because he is very messed up and a “happily ever after” ending for us is impossible. So I’ve broken ties and am trying to stop loving him. But it’s been a year and the feelings aren’t budging. It sucks.

Look, I don’t claim to know the answers to any of these difficult questions. In fact, I don’t think there are any “right” answers to this sh*t. You can be happy with lots of people but HAPPIEST only with one. The one lucky you’re enough to meet at the right place, right time, has what you need and needs what you’ve got and be willing to split the cab fare. And by “cab fare” I mean all the stupid, tedious, unromantic and annoying but inevitable and necessary details involved in getting on with life. So… how to find her/him? I feel like we should all just try our very best to look within ourselves and figure out what we are feeling, what we are looking for, what will make us happy… in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, at the dinner table, in the car, in bed, in connection with family, in connection with children, in connection with recreational drugs, in connection with politics, in connection with everything that you think about when no one is around and when there are way too many people around. Then, and only then, can we start to incorporate someone else into the equation. I’m no expert but I just feel very strongly that that should be the sequence of events. Two years ago, my husband and I got a divorce. After several months of meditation, reflection and self-evaluation, I take full responsibility for the breakdown of our relationship. I won’t go too into it, but, in a nutshell, I had lived the last 15 years of my life looking for EXTERNAL affirmation for my value as a person rather than just feeling that confidence within myself. I see now that this unhealthy need placed an entirely unfair amount of pressure on him; it would on anyone, really. It’s so very dysfunctional. Your partner should be just that: your partner - not your therapist, motivational speaker, parent, babysitter, cheerleader, enabler or emotional crutch. Seems simple enough but, honestly, I didn’t get it until weeks, months after the break-up. I speak to him still. I think we both know that we belong together. It’s very strange because I am in another relationship now. With a wonderful person. And, in a strange way, I feel like I will serve some purpose in his life, in the way that we all cross paths to learn certain lessons or whatever. I love him and respect him very much. It’s just that I, somehow, just KNOW, that my ex-husband and I will be together again. Some day. We may be in our 80s and just hold wrinkled hands across our futuristic, hover wheelchairs or it may be happen sooner – I don’t know. I have just recently come clean with myself about these feelings. Next steps are telling both my current partner and my ex. Without this communication, how the f***** could I complain about nothing going my way, right?

All Im going to say is that since the day I met him, although neither of us knew it, for nearly a year I fell deeper and deeper in love with the man of my dreams, and he fell just as hard. And by the time we knew it had happened, we were in love. But got married 10 years before I ever met him, has a 9 year old daughter, and is 30 years my senior. Im 18 years old. He’s my best friend. I know I’ll meet someone else but he’s the man of my dreams and Ive never felt what Ive felt with him. He tells me that its out of love that he tells me to find another guy,but it hurts. And when I think of not being near him, although to this being an affair I only get to see him a couple hours a week, I feel this pain in my chest. I dont want him to leave his wife because Im almost 19 and Im not ready to settle down which is what he wants now, but I cant imagine being with anyone else. And I dont want him to leave his wife because Im scared we wont work out and then he’ll be alone. Fate is cruel.