friends help: My Friend..is dieing..and i fell for her to.. - Help.com

dying is not something you can control, but how you spend your time with her is, and you should tell her how you are feeling

That is a very difficult situation to deal with …mind numbing when you hear there is nothing else doctors can do. That is how it was with my grandma last month. Just remember to be there for her when you can. Hold her hand and talk to her… let her know you are there if she needs to talk. Bring her a journal to write in or a sketch pad, watch a funny movie with her. I know that sounds silly, but even just the little things to help her deal with or even to take her mind away from her pain. My grandma could not respond the last few days of her life. She was an artist… loved to paint, draw, play the piano and listen to music… and so I brought in her favorite music and I just talked. I told her about the colors of the flowers I brought her, the shape of the clouds outside, the way the light was coming through the trees and how it was getting a bit chilly. I told her I loved her and I thanked her for everything in my life. I know that death is a very difficult thing to deal to accept about life. Somehow the experience of my grandma’s passing brought me closer to nature and restored a sense of faith in me …not necessarily in any particular religion …just the nature we have in us and the connectedness.

i cant suggest anything good…just spend as much time with her as you can while you can, make her happy. make her see she is loved

You are going through a difficult situation and death is a very difficult thing to accept, I’m sorry I don’t have anything better to say, Just be there for her and try to do all the things she likes to make her happy.

Here is what I can tell you…(Thanks Heather for inviting me)

Spend time together, talk, hold hands, walk if/when she is able or push her chair.
Share secrets, hug much, If you love her - tell her (but don’t say it if you don’t mean it). Tell her why you like her. Make her feel beautiful and special for all the reasons she is to you.

Know that this will be hardest thing you may ever do but every minute spent is a memory to be treasured for a lifetime. You will look back on this time often - make beautiful memories it will help to overcome the sadness later on.

Death will eventually win, today, tomorrow, 50 years from now - it does to all of us. But don’t let it defeat you until the last possible moment.

Be strong for her, allow her to cry, help her to smile, cry with her and then find a reason to laugh both through the tears and not.

Take pictures, write notes/letters, read her poems when/if she is too tired to do anything else. Listen to music, if you play an instrument, play if for her.

Hold her hand when she sleeps.

Most of all - live as much as you can, share your heart, and you will in the end be the best friend you can be, of that I promise you.

My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jade
(my profile has a poem about the situation that Heather referred to if you care to read it…it will show you just why all the above is so important, at least to me.)

Well said, Jade. I agree - cherish the time you have.

Make her remaining time here on Earth as pleasant and beautiful as you can. Let that be your final gift to her before her departure - surround her with love, peace, devotion and comfort.

well im not annonmys any more.. i’ve posted a few times on here :( its not been a good few months it first started with my girlfriend who i loved so very much who became confused and left me for another guy but first played mind games on me.. causing me to emotionaly break down because i did’nt know how things could of went wrong.. then she told me she liked another guy i got fed up with it after 2 weeks of being in pain emotionally and i got mad and said we are’nt even friends we dont talk being with you was a mistake.. she got angry and cried over that… umm… then my mother stopped calling and caring.. and now this with my friend.. who i really care for.. if i did’nt meet my ex i would of went out with her instead.. she was with an ******* who did drugs and never cared about her.. but i spent so much more time with her i gave her hugs i made her laugh i made her feel special.. and i want to make sure.. that she does’nt die.. crying.. and sad… i want her to be happy.. and it puts me in tears to know the girl that i started to like alot the one who makes me smile and tickles me and makes me laugh is dieing..

Darren, as some other, I don’t know much to say on this. But I think Ames’ and Jade’s comments are really important.

Most people look for the meaning of it, for something that made it worth it. This girl has made a difference to you, as being a very important person in your life. Knowing that her being around makes a difference to you, is making things easier for her. Such realizations can sometimes create medical wonders, too. But if she really dies, you can help her through her last time by spending time with her and give her this feeling, that she has really given something to you.

That feeling is mutual and will have an effect on you, too. Loosing a beloved one may be as difficult as dying. Knowing that you made a difference to her, will help you in that process.

wow that must be soo hard. I really feel for you.
I think that the kindest thing you can do is support her.

Spend as much time as you can with her, comfort her, basically be the best friend you can be. Try not to worry about the things you can change, but for those you can do for the better. Be there for her.