Love help: I want to send this to my girlfriend but I’d like some feedback on it first. - Help.com

Dan DeColumna
offline Verified (2 years, 1 month) Visit Dan DeColumna's shoutbox
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I want to send this to my girlfriend but I’d like some feedback on it first.

Criticism on this particular piece is VERY VERY welcome. Thankyou -Dan

Wondering how I deserve a prize
as so doting as you,
the brew of your Smile and the miles pries
my heart and mind in two.
I love you more than you realize.

It’s not fear that you’re with other guys
leading my heart to stew.
Your soulful gaze you could not disguise
sustains my yearnings true.
So Genuine, you keep real eyes.

Real life was made unreal when byes
and sighs between us flew.
All then since found is that parting buys
dismal life without you.
You are where life that’s real lies.

I love you more than you realize,
transcending all I knew.
So Genuine, you keep real eyes
in which I see you true.
You are where life that’s real lies.

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 667, 8, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Dan DeColumna may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Dan DeColumna is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 1 month and has 11 posts and 517 replies to their name.

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TrappedWithin offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Patchogue, NY, US | 1 year, 1 month ago (3 minutes after post)

Wow, just breathtaking.

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Dan DeColumna invited 14 users to read this post 1 year, 1 month ago.

ne'e offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 13 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (17 minutes after post)

Wow its beautiful You really love her dont you

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Help me with: I”M BACK>>>>>>>>>>:)
silentwhisper offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Newark, NJ, US | 1 year, 1 month ago (32 minutes after post)

Very beautiful.

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Qzzzz offline Verified User (2 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Montpelier, MS, US | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 26 minutes after post)

Ummmm…I’m old tuffy and that got to me Dan…excellent…

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Doug???????? offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Fallingbostel, 06, DE | 1 year, 1 month ago (3 hours, 33 minutes after post)

yeh i used to do tht 4 my old girlfreind, its worth it wen u c her smile after

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only_4_you_dud offline Unverified User #
Dubai, 03, AE | 1 year, 1 month ago (3 days, 3 hours after post)

Seeing her with other guys?
omg, why havent you moved on?
I say, that there’s no point to a relationship if one doesnt love the other while the other loves the one unconditionally.
Rethink before you do send it to her.

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Dan DeColumna offline Verified User (2 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 week after post)

FEAR she’s with other guys pal.
She’s not cheating on me, lol.
Thanks for the concern though,
-Dan

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