Family help: I recently found out I have cancer I have not told anyone but - Help.com

what kind of cancer?
=|

oh okay, but still… =[

yeah i agree with your husband, sorry to take sides, but hes right because your family definitely has the right and the need to know these kind of things.

take your time till you feel it is the right time to tell them. so sorry about that.

No matter how much you think it will stress your family out you need to tell them, how would they feel if they found out later on after you had the treatment? A little let down that they couldn’t be there for you.
Just tell them and get it over with, they will want to support you.
I hope the treatment goes well for you.

hello nee, that is okay. i do hope the treatment works out. your mom would really worry but they are family. they should and will know about it. hang on.

good luck with the treatment. stay possitive and remember,this is your illness.if you cant cope then its down to you if you want other people to know.if you can then say nothing.why worry others.

Nee it looks like it’s not a secret anymore. You wanted to keep it annonymous, but once it wasn’t it was over right? -not that bad, maybe easier somehow, not having to keep the secret….

I understand that you don’t want to tell family, but if I were your relative I would want to spend time with you and shower you with love. I would see it as a great gift if you would allow me to do that for you, that’s if I were your family, and if I were your mother and you didn’t allow me to mother you I would be hurt and saddened, as that’s what we mothers like to do…. but it is your life and health etc so you should do as you wish. Sending wishes of peace and love!

My father also dealt with colon cancer. He told most of the family and he told me because I have dealt with a similar disease he has had since his late teens. He thought perhaps it would be good for me to know because of the genetic factor. I think whether you tell others is up to you, but it honestly didn’t bring me down to know this from him. If anything I was more compassionate, supportive and understanding of what it was he was going through. It helped others to know this too and it seemed less upsetting to discuss it. My father likes to think his brush with cancer has some educational value as well… having taught biology most of his life. :)) For the most part my family has worked together to give him support and nobody feels its a burden. In fact most people have wanted to reach out in some way - even good friends. I just think though you should do what you feel comfortable with, whether or not its telling others you are close to.

He is on a treatment right now as well. He has been doing pretty well though in spite of dealing with it. I hope you also experience a speedy recovery and I wish you much love and support! :)

I think you would give something valuable to her if telling her. Yes, she will probably worry but she will also hear that it will be treated.

I think one of the worst processes in life is when you are no more needed by your children. In one way it is meant to be so. When your children stand firmly on their own legs, you can lean back and relax, because you have managed to do your task. But it also means that you feel surplus, and that really sucks! So as a parent you are clinging to whatever means by which you can be helpful, to make a difference to those who you love.

So the time she will learn about this (and eventually she will), she will have to fight the feeling that you did not need her support, that she is no longer enough important to be told. She will of course understand your motives of not telling, but I think you will harm rather than help by not doing so.

I think you should tell. “This is how things are, and this is the plan”. And then ask her for comments. That will make her feel that she is of value to you.