Love help: I want a child. - Help.com

when you have a child i think thats when your life has just begun. its good to have a father figure in a childs life but if your a good mother and they have all your support they will be fine. good luck with your future baby!

i am a single mom by choice. i am close to my dad, we have a very good relationship but lives a world away from me all my life. but my decision of not getting married did not depend on my family background, it was decision i have made as an adult who does not like complications. i know it is an obligation for me as a mother to provide a father figure for my child, to not forget his roots and all. BUT, decisions are made and have to stand up for.

life as a single mom is not at all easy, but i am happy and i survive. everyday is a challenge from the first day i knew i was pregnant until today. now my kid is a happy 5 year old. he is well developed, well loved and pretty smart. like me. lol
and to this day, i say that not getting married is still a good decision. :)

It sounds like you have thought things through and know what you want. Your the only one that can make that decision. I’m a single parent of four kids, and it is a challange, and like other single moms and dads out there that are doing it everyday. It’s how you make the life for you and your family, I used to think that needing a partner is a necessity, but as I got older, I had realized that is not the answer. It’s how I raise my kids and the enviroment that I provide for them.

Good luck to you and your future family!!!!

I grew up without a dad an i am doing pretty well. i am 15 now and it hasn’t really affected me all that much. sometimes it hard but it always gets better. The only thing thats sad is when my friends went to a daddy daughter dance and i knew i didn’t have a father. thats the only thing i hated. But lifes good and i am happy. mostly its your desicion and i know you would make a great mom with or without a dad. good luck to you and your future family.

I second the other comments. It is good to have two parents, by various reasons. I became a single father to teenage boys, but not by choice. I think it would have been better for them to have “a bad” mother than no mother at all.

But what makes a parent “good” or “bad”? All people are not equally fit for the task. And even if they were, not all have good circumstances. If you measure “to provide for” in terms of material stuff, then it would be easier for a rich parent to be “good”. If you measure it in “always making the correct decision” it is by far better in practical matters and your kids may have a good chance in life.

But I don’t even think that is the best parent. I think the best parent is the one who TRIES to be a good parent, even if decisions sometimes show to not have been the best decisions. All people can’t be able to provide for the best education, or the best material starting platform for their kids. But if there is unconitional love and care, and if the parent always hold the kids’ wellbeing dearer than their own, they will implant that in their kids as well. So even if “the end result” will be a kid who is working at the local supermarket instead of becoming a Wall Street guy, chances are that the kid will become a happier person.

So even if a kid will miss something by not having two parents, it is by far more important how YOU are as a parent. One parent who CARES is better than two parents who are just “doing what they are supposed to do”, without real engagement.

very well said molotok. i like what you just said.
for most mothers though, it is better for the child to grow up not knowing his father at all rather than to have someone who is not worthy to be called one.

huh??? spamming?

~lilies~ wrote:
i am a single mom by choice. i am close to my dad, we have a very good relationship but lives a world away from me all my life. but my decision of not getting married did not depend on my family background, it was decision i have made as an adult who does not like complications. i know it is an obligation for me as a mother to provide a father figure for my child, to not forget his roots and all. BUT, decisions are made and have to stand up for.

life as a single mom is not at all easy, but i am happy and i survive. everyday is a challenge from the first day i knew i was pregnant until today. now my kid is a happy 5 year old. he is well developed, well loved and pretty smart. like me. lol
and to this day, i say that not getting married is still a good decision. :)

i think you made a good decision too. sure a kid needs a dad, but not necessarily a father who forced himself to fill the role and doesnt love the child. the child is lucky imo that you made sure your child had a positive atmosphere growing up!

awww thanks my dear friend. he was willing. but twas rather complicated. i am complicated. don’t know if i still am though. lol but thank you for the encouragement luigi. means a lot :)

No matter how loving a child is brought up, It needs a father. I can’t believe how you all view dads as disposable and irresponsible. There is always a special bond between a child and a father that no one can replace. I sincerely hope you don’t reprieve the child of that intentionally.

no answer is the right answer i am a single parent and love it and so does my child,i also have a low opion of men because of my own family but there are some good men out there and to be honest the right thing to do is to be true to your self.if you do decide to be a single parent the father could still be in touch with the child my son sees he’s father at every opportunity he can get and it will give you some alone time which is good for you i never thought it would be but now i enjoy my alone time but i do love my son and all the time we have together.