Love help: I recently lost the a woman who I loved unconditionally. - Help.com

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and
confidential assistance. While other Help.com users are likely to reply
to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help.com
falls under our TOS.

Note: I’m a robot that the Help.com staff created. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.

That phone number only applies to U.S. ?

zfirestoneO
I have been thinking about killing myself too. The reasons dont even matter any more, but the feelings never really leave. I have managed to stop myself from following throug because I am curious about what will happen tomorrow. I was so in love with a man once in my life that every drop of blood in my body was in agony when he left me. I drank and took pills and droped out of existance for a while. No, time hasn’t healed anything, I simply choose to think about it less each day and think more about how the next person that I allow in my life will feel, smell, speak, taste…go out and start looking for another partner and another friend. Those first dates can be a blast and those first kisses are amazing

zfirestoneO
Broken people should get together and help repair eachother. I’m sure there are some broken people very close to where you are right now, and everybody knows that misery loves company! If I lived closer to MO, I would invite you over for a drink or a coffee and we could sit up all night telling eachother about how miserable we are! We could even load their photos into my laptop and add a few hundred pounds before emailing it out all to everyone they know. It could be fun.
Anyway, killing yourself is too quick and then you are gone and there is no one to fill your place in the hearts of those who love you but don’t always listen.

Quite a while back, my fiance of 2 years left me. I was in 4 months into a one year tour in Korea with no one familiar around me. She was state’s side with all of our friends around her.

I wouldn’t imagine that we went through the same things, but I think you and I might be on the same page.

I felt completely left out… she was able to talk to friends, but I had nothing but myself to pick me up off the floor and move on…

It’s been 8 years. And the answer to your first question is, Yes! I can still feel the pain. It’s been fairly well dulled by now, but it’s still there and always will be.

I’m not trying to turn the attention here, but I am trying to offer a hand of hope. You don’t know what is around the corner, or what could happen tomorrow. You do know a few truths however.

One, your friend is a TURD! He’s not going to be useful in your recovery at this point. Two, your girlfriends… well, she’s a turd too. All be it, and emotionally attached turd.

A clean break is needed. Find an activity to occupy your time when you have too much idle time, but also spend some time asking yourself questions like… “where am I going?” “What do I want to do?” “What is holding me back?” “What are the ’shoulds’ or ’should have dones’ that have plagued me?”

These will provide enough base for you to stand on for self respect and begin to make yourself proud (yet humble) once again.

I’ll get off my soap box, but the best thing right now is talking. Talk online here, or try and help some other people out.

Let me how you are doing as the days go by.

Oh yeah… one other thing… that “time will heal” is the stuff people tell you when they don’t know what to say. It’s true enough, but it doesn’t do anything for the here and now. Truth is, brother, you need to be encouraged to grieve… encouraged to cry and wale… get some of that out, but don’t let it take you down th road where you are going to hurt yourself. (please)

WHY?

Why would you kill yourself over a woman?

Why would a woman that you gave unconditional love, turn away from that… into the arms of another man?

You ask why you are still alive today? Because you have not learned any kind of lesson from this… not the one that you were meant to learn anyway. Do I sound harsh… sorry. I can understand your feelings… I know your loss… and I understand your grief… but if you want to get better… you must accept things! Accept that she is gone. Accept that the person you thought was friend, is gone… and most of all accept YOUR responsibility in all this. Trust me brother, no person will turn their back on love execpt for 2 reason… 1) they are so messed up themselves… they don’t see it, or 2)it’s NOT the love YOU think it is.

You don’t have to forgive your “friend”, or the girl (it would be way cool if you could)…. you only have to forgive yourself, and stop living with so much denial. You’ve lost none of your strength… you GAVE it away. But the good news is you can have it back… just as a matter of will. Take back your power….stand up straight… so some else that is deserving of YOU… can see you to fall in love with you.
Bright blessings~
Richard

The world isn’t that good. It’s only because of the few good people that makes the rest of the world worth it. I have been where you have and found someone so much greater, so much better, that loves me as much as I love her.

You need to find someone that loves you as much as you love them. Someone that would not hurt someone like that. It is hard but there is someone probably someone who has been hurt the way you were and needs you.