Love help: okay where to begin …. - Help.com

In my opinion and experience you have to grab love when you get the chance. As painful as it may be you have to tell your husband the truth. By your posting this is not a feeling that turned up when you met your ex, you more likely have been looking for a reason to do it.

That answers my the main question I had in my head. Would you rather be on your own than with him? I think the answer is yes. Real hurt to his feelings will be telling him after 10 years that you never loved him, when he has lost his youth (and you wasted yours) and things may become very bitter between you. That would definitely affect your child’s growing up experience.

Be prepared for things not to work out with your ex but go ahead if you are really in love. Good luck

Wow, thats exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you, escancia. You are completely right. It would be worse to waste both of our time, than to lie about it all together. I’ve been trying to figure out how to pass the time by, while being unhappy in the situation. And the answer to your question is yes I would much rather be on my own, than with him. I was able to find someone that I deeply care about and they feel the same. So I’m going to go for it, while the opportunity still presents itself. Do you have any advice on how I should approach it?

I made the mistake of getting married to the wrong person (the first time) and ended up cheating with the woman I am married to now. It was the wrong thing to do because it hurt her very much and I have regretted it to this day. I would have still left her, but I should have been honest about it from the start, as should you.

There is an old saying….”The truth shall set you free.”

Well, it looks like your husband is really afraid of that conversation. I think you need to be very tactful about it. Maybe the key is to make him reflect as to whether he is truly happy with you (he will say yes in order not to lose you). Start the conversation on those lines and let him have a couple of days to think about it. Then when the conversation is re-taken that’s when you must show humility and explain that the kind of love you have for him is different to he one you need and altough you do think the world of him is not making you happy.

Obviously, I would be able to give you a better approach to the situation if knew him, but that’s probably how I would like to be told. All the best