This post left anonymously
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
what i would do is be like
forget we have cancer, live your life, and lets live it to the fullest
dont act like its a handicap.
if i was diagnosed i wouldnt tell anyone.
it hurt me when someone died because they were terminally ill and didnt tell me, but it was more like a quick passing instead of waiting for the inevitable.
From personal experience, the best thing to say is “I am so sorry! What can I do to help you while you undergo treatment?”
When I was diagnosed, I wanted people to acknowledge I was sick, but not to treat me like I was on my way out.
The best things that close friends did for me was visit with me while I did chemo (I was on an 8 hour drip every 3 weeks), bring my family food, and just hang out with me, doing something that didn’t ignore my illness, but that helped me get my mind off of it. It helped that they educated themselves about my type of cancer and treatment, too, so they knew what I was facing. (they also put up with me when was was a real pill)
What I didn’t like were recommendations about treatments (I had a good oncologist), showing up unannounced (its hard to entertain when your losing your lunch), and telling me about their Aunt Edna who also had cancer, blah blah blah (I’m already living a sad story on my own, thankyou).
Don’t say your sorry or pretend to understand how they feel. It’s diffrent for every person. There are no pearls of wisdom that you can possibly throw at them. Listen and learn, SHOW your support don’t talk about it. Above all, don’t treat them diffrently or look at them as if they will turn to dust.
Post a reply
I too have had the diagnosis, I am now in 2 yrs of surgery and treatment for radiation therapy. Drugs they give you that keep you from the pain, but put your body on space mountain. It is a shock, It doesn’t have to be the end of the world.
Im still here, I put up with everything they through at me. I have now gained 20 kilos since I was diagnosed with head and neck cancer and lost 20 kilos.
I am back in the real world, please let people help you….that has been my saving grace, that people who offered help I accepted. Now I am on a journey to help others and raising funds for my hosptials and my angels who helped me.
Good luck, if you want to talk please email me (email removed)
My Girlfriends Mum has been sent home for her final few days with cancer, I feel helpless in comforting my girlfriend how can anything I say make anything better. She is burying herself in work and is trying to forget it is happenening and I suppose that is her way of dealing with it but surely this isn’t the best way. I know there are people who deal with thing differently but should I say anything or should I give her some space?
You are right, everyone deals with things differently. When I was first diagnosed, my dh went out mowed the grass, changed the oil in my car, organized the closet.
Definitely do not give space, if you mean not spend time with her.
But you do not have to tell her how to grieve or even try to discuss the cancer. I think mrsxji is right, just be there to listen and to just be there.
This is a big thing, I too had my mother die of cancer. I had to drive 11000 kilometers to see her in the hospital, after my sister told me she was on her final days. I remember one thing my wife said to me at the time. She said there is no point going down for a furneral, lets go now while she is still alive and talk to her, let her know that i am alright and see what she needs. When we got there all the things you remember from when you were a kid comes flooding back to haunt you.
But she could see and hear that I was o.k. with my life and this made her happy.
I stayed until the last day, and decided to go home, my wife said, please go and tell her that you love her. It was my last chance to say those words. But I did, and I know when she died that night, that for me and for her, we had made peace and showed eachother love and compassion. My wife was there for me, your friend would need someone there for her. She needs to let her mum know that she is alright and that she loves her enough to let her go. Let her talk to you , be around and be there for the worst days, as they do come.
My friend is 28 and has stomach, cervical, and ovary cancer. She’s been fighting it for alomst 3 years; January 4th will be 3 years. And I met her in March of this year. I have been there for her through it all. Her mom recently passed away from cancer so it’s genetic. My friend recently just found out that her cancer spread to her ovaries and now she may never be able to have kids and she has always wanted to have kids. I’m there for her every step of the way. I’m the only one that has been there for her. Nobody else really cares that she has cancer. I’m the only person that has been there and tells her to stay strong. Everybody else treats her like dirt and acts like she doesn’t even exist. Her body keeps turning against her. She’s scared and I don’t blame her. I’d be scared too. I’m the only person she can trust. I’m the only person who helps her get through it and face it. I keep telling her to not let her cancer kick her butt. I keep telling her to fight it. I encourage her to keep fighting because one day she will kick cancer’s butt.
i have been recently dignosed with gastric cancer.i was under lots of stress and strong feeling of abandonement.i get support from my spouse.But my 26yrs old step daughter who live with us is very mean and looking for every opportunity to be mean to me.my spouse blindly loves my step daughter and she always distract or discourage my spouse from taking care of me.
what i should do.
i had been cooking and serving bed tea for her in the past.But she always poisen my spouse ear against me.
being a cancer patient i feel bad.
Am Antonio Benard i reside in Italy, my wife was suffering from breast cancer and the doctor told me that there was nothing that he could do to save my beloved wife. Then a friend told me about the Rick Simpson hemp oil that can cure cancer, i told him that my wife’s breast cancer was in the last stage that i don’t think the hemp oil would cure it and he persuaded me to try it, for the love of my wife, i decided to give it a try.
I did some research and i found a doctor who helped me with the cannabis oil to cure my wife’s breast cancer and he assured me that after 4 months the cancer would be gone. i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>
I bought it and she used it,it worked exactly as the doctor prescribed it. Thanks to doctor Thomas for taking away sorrow in my life. can you all imagone, that my wife have a 6 years old daughter and a 3 years old son, what would i have done.. God will bless Rick Simpson and Dr. Thomas for helping me with cannabis oil and for his support and care.
i> small>(email removed) /small> /i> what can i say unto my LORD, all i have to say is THANK YOU LORD.
It is so true about Rick Simpson Cannabis Oil’ I want to use this medium to applause the Rick Simpson cannabis oil for curing my Fiance cancer with his Hemp Oil, my fiance has been suffering from colorectal cancer for the pass three years now, but ever since we started using the Rick Simpson Cannabis oil for the treatment of her cancer for the past 3 months according to the instructions on how to use it, my future wife has fully recovered from her colorectal cancer. The Rick Simpson hemp oil is a great success on cure for cancer, with his cannabis oil i give a lot of credits, my fiance has completed her treatment of 4 months of successful treatment, am getting married to my fiance as her colorectal cancer has been totally cured with rick Simpson cannabis Oil which we purchase: i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>, It has been 4 months now of the successful cure of my fiance colorectal cancer and since my fiance stop treatment and her health has been perfect and marvelous. as I am writing this testimony to notify you that my fiance has been completely cured of her cancer. any one out there who need help, please feel free to get in touch with Dr. at: i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>
Post a replyI am so grateful to Rick for providing me with Hemp oil here is the United State of America. I was diagnose with brain cancer 3 years ago, and ever since then i have done a lot of Chemo and Radiation that have not help me, but only damaged my immune system and render it weak and helpless. I came across the Phoenix Tears and i have read about the Hemp oil a lot and saw that I could provide me with Hemp Oil here is the State, i contact him on: i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>r the procurement of this medication, to my surprise the medication was procured and delivered within 48 hours and i have been on treatment for the past 3 months. Am now here to testify that am no more a cancer patient, I have experience a total transformation in my health sector with Rick Simpson Hemp oil service. for all cancer patient that live in the America and Canada region, get your Hemp oil from i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>
It is so true about Rick Simpson Cannabis Oil’ I want to use this medium to applause Rick Simpson for curing my Fiance cancer with his cannabis oil, my fiance has been suffering from colorectal cancer for the pass three years now, but ever since we started using the Rick Simpson Cannabis oil for the past 3 months and instruction on how to use it, my fiance has fully recovered from her colorectal cancer. The Rick Simpson cannabis oil has proven a great success on cure for cancer with his cannabis oil and I give him a lot of credits, because my fiance cancer was cured within 4 months of successful treatment, am getting married to my fiance as her colorectal cancer has been totally cured with Rick Simpson cannabis oil which we purchase: i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>, It has been 4 months now of the successful cure of my fiance colorectal cancer and ever since my fiance stop treatment and her health has been perfect and marvelous. as I am writing this testimony to notify you that my fiance has been completely cured of her cancer. any one out there who need help, please feel free to get in touch with Rickat: i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>
My mother breast cancer that she has been suffering from for the past 8 years has been successfully cured with Rick Simpson cannabis Oil with high potency of THC content in the medication. My mother was diagonalize with breast cancer 8 years ago and she has done several Chemo, Radiation and natural therapy that destroyed her body system. She was recent at the point of death 7 months ago. My mother is has been cured of breast cancer with Rick Simpson cannabis oil. she is so healthy now. Thanks to Rick Simpson cannabis oil that we used in curing her cancer at: i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>, Rick Cannabis Oil was successfully used in curing my Mother Breast 3 months as stated in the dosage information provided by rick Simpson. Once again i want to thank rick for his wonderful Hemp Oil, the family is now in great unity with so much hope of spending this Christmas in peace and tranquility because the joy of the family which was our Mother, the family pride has been restore with cannabis oil curing my mother cancer within 3 months. What a miracle. My mother is now back alive, strong and healthy. you have the right to stop cancer with Rick Simpson cannabis oil medication at: i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>
Carey James, Toronto,
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.