Love help: I’m pathetic - Help.com

I’m pathetic

Right…my first really personal post here…

I’m smart, attractive, creative…all of these great things. I know I am. Men are attracted to me all the time. But people tend to bore me a lot (I have a love/hate relationship with people I guess…extreme boredom can be interesting for example)— they tend to be so freakin PREDICTABLE it just kills me. So I surround myself with people I find interesting (as we all hopefully do) and don’t bore me to death. — Very seldom do I actually meet somebody that truly makes me excited…like that person just makes me feel so alive and inspires me so much that I long to be in that persons company…naturally I’m ranting romantically..what else?

That brings me to my point. I’ve met this man. I talk to him and he inspires me…we actually have a conversation..we talk for hours. Men seem to be scared to talk to me like that, but he isn’t. We talk and he challenges me. I love it. And naturally when we finally got to the bed I found out that he was the best lover I’ve ever had. It’s so exciting…but the foreplay is the four hour discussion we had about life, love, politics or whatever it was at that point.

Ok. Here’s the problem. He’s almost 20 years older than me (not that that’s a problem for me), he has two children and two failed relationships behind him. I’ve been seeing him now since may, off and on, and now I know it will never get beyond this point. He will never let me go further than this: Meeting like once a week for a chat over a bottle of wine and then…well…off to the bedroom. The thing is, even though I want to see more of him I love our moments so much that I can’t bear the thought of ending this. I did once before but I was miserable…and the men I met were just boring..and then I met him again and it was so fantastic..I was so alive.

I feel bad tonight cause I have not seen him now for 12 days and he said he would “be in touch” tonight. We had talked about me perhaps inviting him to dinner tomorrow night (we’ve never done that sort of thing…dinner…date). And then I didn’t hear from him at all…and I TXT him “so…dinner tomorrow?” at like 10 pm…got no response..so I TXT him again “are you lost and gone?” like 2 hours later and I got back “Still at dinner party”……and then nothing after that…it doesn’t seem like he’s very keen on seeing me and I feel kind of pathetic at the moment. I’m an attractive 28 year old woman…I feel a bit like an adolescent now…

So What do you think. Do you think it’s worth keeping something like this going or am I just making an *** out of myself? —- mind you. No man has ever made me feel as alive so making an *** of myself should perhaps be the least of my worries.

I just feel pathetic I guess. Just opened up the red wine bottle I bought cause I thought he was coming over perhaps (I don’t even drink red wine)…I’m drinking it out of spite now…haha!..like: SEE! You’ll never get to drink this now!

I am pathetic….

This open post was written 10 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 523, 20, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

wine, red, Love, man, Person, Year, Bed, drink, Bottle, Hour, pathetic, relations, connection (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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