This guy that likes me, is turning into something of a stalker.
He waits at my locker in the morning, visits me in every class, meets me after lunch, walks me to some classes, and waits for me to get my books ready to go home. And it’s really all very sweet, but we’re not dating, and it’s been made VERY clear to him. I’m afraid I’m pushing away some of my friends, who are like, “You’re always with that guy, he needs a life. Who IS he?!”
I don’t want the attention from him, and it’s not just because my friends are talking to me a whole less…I want to make it STOP, and I don’t know how to tell him. Even my sister, who (at first) pushed for this relationship to happen, is getting annoyed with him…
I’m bad at confrontation, too, if that helps at all. =\
Since writing this post Heyhey, Sav-vay may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Heyhey, Sav-vay is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 8 months and has 29 posts and 453 replies to their name.
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You really need to confront the problem, if not for your sake than for his. Hes obviously secretly hoping youll eventually cave in. If you cant confront him alone, then get help from some friends. Just try not to crush the guy or he will turn into a stalker in a negative way.
Go to a teacher. That is their job, to assist you with things like that.
Know what usually works? no confrontation, and be weird and awkward and dont feed into conversation and talk to other dudes in front of him. if he dosent get a hint, just let em follow you like a lost puppy for a while. he’ll get it
An Undisclosed Location | 5 years, 6 months ago (4 hours, 27 minutes after post)
he’s probably had a hard life and doesn’t feel like he fits in anywhere else even if it appears that he does. it seems likely that he’s thinking he might be attracted to you but I experienced something similar, i think.
I wasn’t physically attracted to a girl that I liked in school (when i met her). I didn’t like any of my friends and I thought she understood me more than she did. I was quite quiet and shy around pretty much everyone but felt able to talk around her ’sometimes’ because I liked her and trusted her to not be so judgemental. I felt really good in her presence and thought it was just right being around her. But I didn’t know her very well and thought I did. I became physically attracted very quickly and wanted to be with her wherever she was. I thought she liked being around me and considered me a friend. But I never really spoke to her properly and she started behaving strangely because of this and that just made me think there was something wrong with her. Then I felt more inclined to investigate and get to know her, but clearly she didn’t understand when I was around her because i hardly spoke and she probably found me even more annoying because of that (like in your situation possibly). I wanted to talk with her more because I had few friends and thought she would be a good friend. I didn’t realise how obessive i was becoming and wasn’t really thinking about many other people or at least she was the only person I was interested in and wanted to get to know better. I couldn’t understand her behaviour at all and thought when she didn’t speak to me about anything that she was either nervous or had deeper problems that she wanted to get off her mind to a friend, of course me wanting to be a friend and being the problem at the same time, made sense that she didn’t talk to me like I was any ordinary person. I was very deluded at the time, very stressed, narrow minded, untalkative, nervous and thought i was good company for her. I wasn’t. If only i’d known what she really thought then I would have left her alone before it got taken further. I actually thought i was being helpful by waiting for her after some classes. I tried to ask her out and she got frustrated and i became suicidal because i completely didn’t understand what was going on with her. I fell in love because she would comfort me when i was upset and was friendly sometimes. But at other times she found me annoying around school when i felt like she was a friend. I didn’t want to be classed as a stalker and would have been extremely hurt if that was what teachers implied and her attitude. I sometimes thought she thought i was stalking but i wasn’t sure and wasn’t in a fit state to know what to do or what was going on. I basically built up more in my head than it was worth because i was clueless and wanted to be a good friend and help the girl i liked.
the guy that likes you might have a lot going on in his head and be very confused about who you are and what you want. I understand it might not be as bad as this but I went crazy after i left school of that girl and my confusion. I would have wanted to know straight from her what was going on between me and her. I don’t think i would have been able to even describe at the time what was going on in my mind to her and might have even said it wrong if i tried because of my mental state. If he’s waiting for you wherever you go he must think he’s got a valid reason to do so and I think if you don’t be honest and handle the situation properly, he could be hurt more than you think anyone could be. I think it might just take a simple few minutes to sit down and tell him with respect to his circumstances what your perspective on the situation is and help him to see things more clearly and listen to what he has to say as it might help you to understand more clearly too. Don’t go hyper and create a commotion when you talk to him because a lot of change and excitement will confuse him more. It might be an idea to tell a support teacher and someone who can gently pull you out of this disturbance. If he stalks you then he’s clearly reading more into you than you might think, i believe. So i would suggest just taking your time, be honest, approach him when not much is happening and talk to him about it. I think he will be more happy to know that you are happy if it’s anything like the situation i was in at school. wish you well, good luck.
First off, thank you all for replying!
And Sound_of_solo, that sounds terrible…I’m so sorry that this happened to you. :( I would’ve thought the same thing if I was in your situation, actually. The only difference here is that I’m the girl, and my mom isn’t letting me date yet—and I’ve made it perfectly clear to him that we can only be friends.
But thank you very much for your answer, that was absolutely fantastic…and the absolute right thing to do. :)
sorry if this is too personal..but what grade are you in?
Not too personal at all. I’m a freshman in high school.
Tell him your gay or something.
im a sophmore….
An Undisclosed Location | 5 years, 6 months ago (23 hours, 43 minutes after post)
thanks, I don’t really know what else to advise you but
hope you can get it sorted :)
write him a note telling him that you don’t wan him following you around like he does.
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