friends help: How do I get people to care? - Help.com

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hey now. its ok. calm down. help.com is here. whats going on? lets talk.

Chicken or the egg? No- one wants to be around some one who has no respect for themselves. If you do not like yourself, how can you expect others to. You need to start treating yourself a bit nicer, what things do you like about you? Nothing ? Well what would need to happen for you to like yourself more?

thats not so easy sometimes. it depends on whats going on in their lives. sometimes family can be cruel and say very mean and hurtful things and not be real family. sometimes its hard to see the good in yourself until someone else sees it and opens your eyes, have a heart people.

dude everyones got problems man, just think of anyone else that you admire or look up to, and know that at a point in their life they felt just as ****** as you. we all do man! its just another chapter in this long saga called life. theres never a perfect one… and it isnt really only about whats happenning to you, its also about what youre making happen to everyone else

making happen??? not verbally correct is it??

i know how it feels when you hate yourself and feel alone and even though you care everyone else seems to hate you. its hard. and when you don’t have a family thats supportive, or worse you have a family that bashes you things can be even harder. just remember, is this how you want to go out? with life at a hard point? or would you rather have your last memory be a happy one? life will get easier. some people are just mean, the best thing to do would be to get away from those people if possible. find different people as hard as it maybe. killing yourself is never the answer. you can make it. you just need better friends.

The way to get anyone to care about you… is to be yourself!!!!!! do not change for someone… if they dont like you… then you definately dont need them…

ok people, yes other people have hard times too, but when those people feel down do you think saying “get over it, it happens to everyone.” will make it better? no. they want support, they want to know that someone will be there to understand and listen.

anerexiccow wrote:
ok people, yes other people have hard times too, but when those people feel down do you think saying “get over it, it happens to everyone.” will make it better? no. they want support, they want to know that someone will be there to understand and listen.

I know this.. however… if you are not true to yourself.. and pretend to be someone you are not… how can anyone like you if you are fake???? if someone does not like you.. then you need to get a back bone.. and believe that those who do not like you are not worth your time… why does anyone have to change in order for someone to like them…. why do they have to be fake??????

Exactly- lil bitsy shi
Anon- I understand what you are saying and have been there myself at the time I could not understand WHY!!!! why no one seemed to listen, or understand, or help , or fix it,or support. What I needed to learn was no-one could do any of those things for me, I was crying out for all those things and then I discovered that I could listen, understand and ultimately help myself.
Your feelings are normal, you will get there, please do not wallow in the shallow depths of despair because it gets addictive, don’t thrive on being a ‘victim’ being powerful is way funner..

i know that a lot of people are like you need to love yourself for people to see that an engage in a good relationship. well what in the hell made children in middle school and high school abuse children. what makes them as adults keep the torch flying. I just think some kids were raised to think certain kids are inferior and dont deserve respect. Also parents letting outside sources influences childrens views on people. No matter what you do certain people will not be respected by other people because of their views. The only thing that reflects some change is being ultra nice. All that does is make people get ultra used. Then when they are no longer useful they are ignored or go back to the way things were. You need to stay close and true to those that love you unconditionally. Those people that you lived with all your life and that no matter what happens they can not stay angry at you and are always accepting. Do not try new routes. Pick people up along the way and if they want to hang around you they will. Let them choose. Stay with the ones that love you unconditionally. Attaching yourself to a new person is just gonna cause more harm than good in the long run.

Trust me you dont want to die things will chage ok but going the way your going you arent helping yourself ok! Start to think a little bit more happyer about the people that love you and about the people that you really care about! Because you care so much people really will and do apericate you!!!!!!! so maybe some wont tell you that but honestly people care and your family and friends love you no matter what and us people here are here to help you too just dont go down theroad of death because its going to turn out ok!!! XXXX

I know this.. however… if you are not true to yourself.. and pretend to be someone you are not… how can anyone like you if you are fake???? if someone does not like you.. then you need to get a back bone.. and believe that those who do not like you are not worth your time… why does anyone have to change in order for someone to like them…. why do they have to be fake?????? - - lil-bit-shi

that wasn’t in response to you that was in response to the people above you. it just happened to be posted after yours. i completely agree, be yourself. if people don’t like you for you then they’re not worth it. but the people who commented before you were being very rude.

ANA:-who was being rude? I read back through the posts and I don’t think anyone was being rude…just trying to give help from their own perspective.

ANON:- Obviously your family rely on you for a lot and you feel undervalued and not appreciated at all, I don’t know if you have tried to explain to them how you feel or if you feel you can’t.
Loving yourself is not as hard as it sounds. when you stand up for yourself and treat yourself like a precious soul thats what loving yourself is.Treat yourself as you would treat a small chid that relies on you to teach it about the world. You would never expect a small child to put up with anything but the best, so you shouldn’t have to either.
It’s good that you’re recognising that this is not how you want your life to be, and I understand the feeling of ‘I don’t want to be here anymore’ but death is permanent and you would never know of the wonderful tings that you could achieve. I would suggest taking some time out to do the things that you love and maybe you won’t always feel like your doing eveything for others all the time :)