friends help: I HATE IT! - Help.com

You’re an adult. Tell him to do his own chores.

Try saying no once in a while , i dont think he’ll FORCE you to do chores ..

he obviously still sees you as a child…… maybe its time to teach him that you are an adult. next time he tells you to do something tell him NO. dont hide from him….. he will come to learn that you are not his skivvy anymore. i had the same prob with my mum…. she used to control my life….. but then we had a huge fight which ended shortly after i moved out. now i live quite far away but i love going over to hers and we now get on like friends. she even comes to me for advice and actually listens to me. it took a lot of work tho….. about five years for her to actually see me for who i truely am. hold on…. be strong and firm and just let him come to the realisation that you are a grown woman who is NOT his serant or young child who needs chores. :)

*sevant not serant

You’re 20, move out.

practice Stoicism.

am i th only one who understands just how crippling this is?????????????????? ppl if u dont have decent advice go an bug someone else instead of tormenting her!

It can be crippling only if one lets it. As an adult, you don’t HAVE to do what your parents tell you. Sure, you may not want to move out, but it has to happen someday, and why would you wait when someone is treating you like that?

I don’t understand how living under someone elses roof is crippling. I was married, got divorced and moved back home, my parents ‘ordered’ me to do things (chores, and even a curfew of 9pm—) because I was technically saving hundreds of dollars a month—in food and room. Thing is I was sick of it, and I went out and found a place I could afford and made plans to move out.

If you don’t like your current situation and there’s no way to change it while staying in that situation, it’s time to move on.

Incase you haven’t noticed . . . your an adult now.
Looks to me anon like your old enough to leave the nest and get a life of your own.
Then your dad who has provided a roof over your head all these years can’t boss you anymore.

Now you can leave all those responsibilities and chores behind and go get your own place and have a job and be bossed by your manager or supervisor at work, telling you to “do this” and “do that”.

Oh yeah, you can even have the privilege of paying your own rent and untilities on your own and buying your own food too. But don’t forget, the only way you can do this while on your own is to have a job and keep it by listening to a boss telling you to “do this” and “do that” every single day, perhaps 5 days a week.

But yeah, you and your dad do need to have some time together and communicate about what’s on your mind and in your heart. I think that is really whats needed here the most . . . communication and respect for one another.

Work will always be a fact of life no matter where you go in life. At least your dad is not spoiling you. He wants you to be use to chores because once you are out of the nest and on your own in the REAL world, then your gonna still have chores to do anyway. Your gonna still have responsibilities no matter what.

You may need to be the first one to take the step in telling your dad that the two of you need to talk. He’s in his daily routine of going to a job and coming home and probably doesn’t notice how he really looks from your point of view.

So YOU be the one to speak up and just tell him that you want to have a talk today or tonight. If he says he’s too busy, then tell him that you want to have this talk with him within these next 2 days and tell him it is very important to you.
When you do have your talk with, tell him to stop ordering you around in front of your friends every time. Tell him how it makes you feel. Be honest with him about it. It would be nice if he would ask you how your day was and take an interest in your life.
Try to come to a comprimise with your dad that works for both of you.

If it can’t work out, then I suggest that you get a job and save up some money to get your own apartment and have your freedom. Your old enough now girl. :)
Just remember . . . being out on your own does come with responsibilities and yes . . . chores.

All the best! :)

Perfectly said Grego!!!! I can’t add a thing!!!!

I agree with Grego!

I also agree with you Grego… life is very tough (as I now know too well). I have my chores to do, which often I do without being asked (that shows initiative). So Anon, if you do that you could gain respect from your dad, by showing that you respect him and know what you are expected to do. And also you definitely need to talk with your dad, if you don’t you might regret it for the rest of your life. He is wrong to order you around, you are his child not his slave. Tell him how you feel… remember: nothing ventured, nothing gained.