girl help: I have an 8 month old baby an always put her needs first. - Help.com

your mom is worried about you. the house is a mess and i’m pretty sure everyone like to see in order. it is always good to put your baby’s needs a priority but you have to make sure you could also take care of yourself. Having a baby is not an excuse of forgetting yourself completely.

what u have wrote just shows that you are an excelent mother, its normall to be rushed off your feet when you have a child as young as that and no your deffinatly not being selfish just tell your mum that your too rushed of you feet right now but things wil eventually calm down and then u can do things together with your daughter

its not wrong that your putting your baby first…it seems like your mum might be a little jealous of all the attention that your baby is getting from you but she has to understand that your child has needs that need to be met. its normal for you to not have time on your hands for things that you like to do anymore b/c now…your world revolves around her. things will get better

you welcome girl….dont let the little stuff like that get to you…trust me…i’ve been there before

have you tried talking to your mom to see why she feels this way? what are her reasons behind her calling you selfish? you are obviously doing a great job with your daughter… so i am proud of you…

your mother has to realize that you have a little baby who depends on you… she has to be the bigger person in this.. and not expect you to jump for her… although she is your mother.. maybe if you could take a couple of hours out on the weekend to be with just her.. maybe for a movie or a little shopping… she would feel better… does your mom interact with the baby? maybe by having the baby around your mother.. it will make her feel as though your baby does need you a bit more…

I have a friend sort of in your situation, I mean her mother doesn’t get on her about the way she raises her daughter but her boyfriend does. Her house is constantly a mess, she can’t seem to manage her time, she never does anything for herself but looking at the place you’d think that is all she does. Some children require more attention than others, after watching my friend’s daughter I realized that she is one of those that can’t entertain herself, it was all I could do to fit in a load of laundry and do the dishes piled up in the sink in about 5 hours of watching her. Independent play is important and a child’s ability to do that really does dictate how much you can get done in your day as far as house work, etc. Also some kids just can’t deal with being in public because they aren’t that socialized or they are just naturally fussy or shy.

If you are a first time parent don’t worry about it, you’ll get the hang of it. And remember that our mother’s still come from a time when the measure of a woman’s worth as a mother and wife was dictated by how pristine her house was and how good her cooking was. . . .things change. The best advice I have is the same that I gave my friend. . . .start using a daily planner, start being more organized and developing organized habits, start allowing other people to babysit your child and allow you some stress relief time, start introducing independent play time where she sits in a controlled environment and entertains herself with her toys. . . she is old enough now to have started that already. . . and for pete’s sake take your mother’s advice but take the judgement with a grain of salt.