life help: I have a question for you all. - Help.com

I think the lesson is that sometimes you have to take a chance. One road might be safer, but not necessarily the best way to go.

I’ve been mugged before. It taught me to prepare for violence at the first sign that it’s targetted you.

The first thing that popped in my mind was I wouldnt EVER EVER travel without a guide. But then that’s weird, sorry . I’m like that, eh?
Umm, other than that… Try something once. If It’s not working try again. If It still doesnt work dont keep trying(unless you got progress). No use being an idiot.
Gah yes.. call me a quitter, okie whatvere :)

Hmmm… I might be a bit cautious. Lifes experiences have taught me this. While I would be open to face a stranger I would probably observe them carefully and give it some time before giving them my trust.

Yep exactly ames. It’s impossible to just trust a complete stranger. It would depend on their experience too.

When an obsticle appears in our path, it is for one of two reasons;
1) the path chosen in not available to you at the moment (this is rare).
2) there is a better path to your goal somewhere else. A detour if you will or diversion.

Either way your path must change. It’s not the goal that is important, it is the journey… the path. Learn all you may on the path you are on… for if you must take a detour, you must be ready for it. And as Qzzz says… “it’s all good”.
Bright blessings~ Richard

I did not see an invite for me..maybe because you know how I am gonna answer, ha ha

Always hope for the best, be prepared for the worst.

this is not just a dogmatic statement for me, I apply it to my life at every turn..since the stroke, I actually even apply this to getting out of bed in the morning..I hope i am fine, but I put a hand on the dresser until I am sure.

I am the first one to take a new path, and the first to talk to a stranger, but i am also the one who knows where all the fire extinguishers and exits are too.

hope this is what you are looking for, and maybe I did get the invite, just missed it somehow?

how about this..I will give a hitchhiker a ride, if they ride in the bed of my pickup..

I will only lend what i can afford to lose….
I will respect you for your actions and words, that is all I have to go by..

if you are leary of my judging you, than I must assume you feel you would not pass that judgement.

random things from my code of personal conduct.

I try to view things from a level of responsibility. I am responsible for all that happens in my life. If I am attacted I am responsible because I chose that path. When I had my heart attack, I was responsible because I treated my body like crap. When we make others responsible, we give up the control… and dang it all… I want ALL the control!

Soulsearcher wrote:
It was a general question about life experiesnces and how you would utilize them in your life. To what extent your experiences would influence your actions regardig people

To me It influences me a lot and I might be a bit cautious and expect the unexpected but I’ll never complete trust/mistrust a person just because he/she is a stranger until they give me a reason to.

that stroke rocked me Rich..because it was not caused by bad living..not by anything I could control..took me a while to find an answer..my bad, I did not go for regular check ups as often as i should have for my age..wow, i am still responsible,,ha ha..if I would have got checked out more often, they would have found the blood clot..

not to go off track, but it did make me question my beliefs for a few days, as in “maybe some things are com[letly out of our control” but even then, we control our reactions too

Personally?
I would like to say that I would have taken the more travelled path.. but I also have faith the good nature of others.

I would rather believe that someone has good intentions and accept things at face value then live in doubt of others.

Brink_of_Regret wrote:

I would rather believe that someone has good intentions and accept things at face value then live in doubt of others.

Sadly, that tends to lead to you being hurt. Badly.

my answer was the best..ha ha

my answer is number one, all others are number 2 or lower..

My nimber one, Good Show, Big Deal answer. HA HA

“Always hope for the best, be prepared for the worst.

this is not just a dogmatic statement for me, I apply it to my life at every turn..since the stroke, I actually even apply this to getting out of bed in the morning..I hope i am fine, but I put a hand on the dresser until I am sure.

I am the first one to take a new path, and the first to talk to a stranger, but i am also the one who knows where all the fire extinguishers and exits are too.”

OHHHH without a doubt we control our reactions.

After my heart attack, it took me 30 seconds to quit smoking (if that long)… I’ve not touched one since Jan. 30, 2007 6pm.

I’ll turn back to my fav quote; “Don’t tell me you’re a victim, SHOW me you’re a a survivor”. After the heart attack, my feeling of personal responsibility, and just how pervasive it is in our life really came home to me. No one can take from you anything you won’t give them. If you are being mugged… and you fight. You are no longer being mugged - you are fighting with a stranger. If that stranger than kills you… you were fighting with them - you put yourself in that deadly position. You gave permission for the stranger to kill you. Ohhhhh I know it’s not direct… you didn’t stand up and say, “hey stranger … will you kill me please?” But by fighting with them… you put yourself on their level… and they will do whatever they do. One time when I was crossing the street going back to the pool hall… this thug pushed me a little and said, “Hey ***… watch where you’re going” He obviously saw me… granted, I wasn’t paying attention and didn’t see him. I stopped… looked at him, saw judgement and anger all over his face… I laughed and kept walking… oh, he cursed a few things to my back, but I was on a different level than he, and there was little he could do.
~Richard

Oh, I just saw what you said about Judgement, Soul…

but look..if you are not sure of the persons ability to judge you correctly, why do you want them in your circle in the forst place?

I must say this..anyone who claims not to judge is lying..to others, and possibly to themselves too.

Xeno Dragon wrote:

Brink_of_Regret wrote:
I would rather believe that someone has good intentions and accept things at face value then live in doubt of others.

Sadly, that tends to lead to you being hurt. Badly.

You will always get hurt in life though Xeno.
But what’s the alternative? Never trusting anyone, always doubting their intentions, not believing in the good that some people may have to offer? Missing out on what can make this life beautiful!

plus, there’s bound to be some branch that I can use to kick the muggers ***** ;)

I have already had that experince in life, I belive you make what you want out of it but don’t let the bad things make your life bad as then they are takeinf more than just possesions, I also belive in Karma :P

No matter how careful you are there is always a chance you will get hurt, that’s just a fact of life and I’m pretty sure that some here know that and they don’t need someone pointing out that life is full of calculated risk.

I don’t trust anyone. Not my friends, nor myself.

I am responsible for the road i choose. and each wrong road may lead me to a better path i may not know before. Not all strangers are bad. Some are even better persons than those i have known for a lifetime.

you should never fully trust someone that’s being naive.

You have to trust people or you will become lonely and bitter. There are people that are completely trustworthy.

Many years ago, in my young adulthood, I had an experience that left me not trusting anyone, not even my father and especially not myself. I was left to acknowledge my utter niavete, questioning not only my perception of the world but others’ as well. My entire paradigm was completely destroyed. The only thing I could rely upon was the present.

To survive I accepted the present. I learned to acknowledge and ‘hear’ my heart. I learned to acknowledge and ‘hear’ my gut. I learned to acknowledge and ‘hear’ inspiration. I learned when I follow my gut or when I follow my heart ultimately it is the right choice. The path may be tortuous and painful, but in the end I am a better person because of it, as long as I continue to follow my heart and gut.

I would take the path less traveled … as I usually do … any experience along the way is mine and I take full responsibility for how I handle what is dealt and for the consequences that befall me.

I am confident where my heart is … between me and God, we know. I know that whatever comes my way in the Grace of God I shall follow the path meant to be tread.

The one thing I have learned to trust is God, or Karma, or Alha, whatever … I know there is always more to something than meets the eye and it is always clouded by individual perception.

I would like to think that I do not judge .. that I treat all people as equal human beings. Some personalities I get along better with so these I get closer to and consider ‘friends’.

The essence of me acknowledges and connects to the essence of you - Namaste

I consider trust to be like respect, it’s something that must be earned. Also, nothing that happens in our lives can be blamed entirely on others, if you find yourself getting screwed over every second day then maybe you’re doing something wrong.

As for getting mugged, from hangin around in Dublin city center for a long time I learned there’s a few ways to avoid it, the main thing is to know the type, it’s always the same guys here, we call them scumbags, if you see em, keep your head down and go on your way. Avoid the areas unless it’s necessary, not that I live in fear or anything, but I really have no reason to go there anyway. Also if you see them hangin round, leave promptly, and never ever flash money on the street, ever. It’s also a good idea to never carry around large amounts of cash or drugs, and if you have to or have a laptop or something on you, then go from taxi to destination to taxi. Since I smartened up and copped onto these things I haven’t been attacked/accosted/mugged or even shouted at. But then saying all this, my appearance does draw allot of attention, if you looked more like them you’d be less likely to get hassled. In then end of the day it’s about accepting the fact that these guys spend most if not all of their time on the street and you’re in their territory. If circumstances had been different you could easily be in their shoes, it’s a small price to pay for having better luck then them… and they smell :p

I tend to live with the motto ‘never regret’. Perhaps them being mugged was a part of the larger plan. It sure seemed so for the second monk. It was an opportunity to define what they believed in.

I love the stroy of the white horse.

A priceless white horse belonging to a farmer from Hapsburg escaped one day and ran away. The local people said, “O! What bad news!” The farmer just said, “Bad news, good news, who knows?”

The following day the farmer’s only son fell down a ravine whilst looking for the horse and broke his leg in three places. “O! What bad news!” said the local people, the farmer just said, “Bad news, good news, who knows?”

A week later the white horse returned with a hundred wild horses – each as priceless as the original. “O! What good news!” said the local people, “Good news, bad news”, said the farmer again, “who knows?”

The following day, the king of Hapsburg declared war on the neighbouring country, and all the young people of Hapsburg under thirty were called up to fight in the war. Of course, the farmer’s son was exempt. He’d broken his leg in three places, remember? All the local people said, “O! What good luck,” the farmer just said, “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?” ‘

That is a great “never regret” story WantMore. Reminds me of a true-life story. My grandma did not want my uncle to play football. She imagined all sorts of bodily injuries that he would incur and that might damage him for the rest of his life. He was passionate about the sport and so she begrudgingly let him go for it. He ended up destroying his knees and having surgery. When my uncle was in college the Vietnam War was on. He was called up, but denied because he knees were ruined. He ended up a sports journalist, literature teacher and football coach.

i didnt say you should trust anyone at all.
i said you should never FULLY trust anyone.

I agree with Fourthling, both trust and respect are things that have to be earned. Regret is like guilt, it’s a waste of time and energy. If you live your life to the best of your ability then there’s no need to regret or feel guilty. Forgiving yourself can be one of the greatest assets that you can have.

If you can’t trust anyone fully then your living a half life, because without complete trust there is no complete love.

Sometimes it just takes a little common sense, of course you can’t completely trust someone that has shown themselves untrustworthy, but you can’t fully trust someone that has never given you cause to doubt their sincerity. It’s a calculated risk, but well worth it and if you don’t you could miss out on some pretty spectacular feelings.

Want more, I LOVE that story! It is one I have now commited to memory and shall share with my son’s.

Thank you.