anger help: I need to speak with someone about my anger and why i latch out - Help.com

Could be lots of reasons. Has this been a problem for a long time, or just recently? Do you know why you are angry?

Yes for as long as i can remember from back in 5th fourth grade,i don’t like people telling me what to do and i get mad at people just because they are trying to discpline there own children,and when i can’t have my way or get what i want,so then i will sometimes take it and lie and say i didn’t

Sounds like you have a hard time with frustration, and quickly go from calm to irritated and angry. Can you feel it building up, or do you go off really fast?

As a matter of fact that is the very reason I joined this site. And I have to say everyone as said above, and don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to insult anyone, but they are just trying to help you and tell you how to get rid of it when you want to know why is it happening. It is anger management and anxiety problem. Honestly, I believe that as much as we want to know why, the only answer is human nature. We were born with our brains programmed to deal with anger and anxiety to be absorbed like a sponge and just ignore it and let it sit there. Now we’ve reached a point where that “sponge” is so full of anger that it can’t hold anymore, so it is going to start leaking, like a drip, and the smallest of things that would never get you furious is going to fill up the sponge(that’s already full) and make it “drip”, and that is what causes the anger outbursts, which you call “latching out” on everyone. Now everything that everybody said to try and help me was stuff I already tried, the things that everybody has suggested already, and the things I already knew of. Unfortunately, I must appologize for I don’t know how to cure this curse, or gift(it depends how you look at it), that we were born with. All I know and that I can tell you more, is that by reading this, hopefully you can understand your problem better. I honestly think the only way to cure it is through medicinal drugs to help with stress and anxiety, so if you truly feel that it is something you are scared of or can’t deal with on your own talk to your parents and doctor and see if the can give you some medicinal drugs for it. However, I am against that idea myself, because i believe if you are happy with who you truly are, then you’ll figure a way out of it. For instance I still didn’t know how to help myself until this post, like you see in the movies, someone has a problem and they help someone with the same or similar problem and then they realize they helped themselves, that is what just happend to me. I hope I didn’t waste too much of yours or anyone elses time, and I hope this helps. Best of Luck to you.

Thanks,that’s just what my aunt said i needed to do was to see a doctor.

well remember you don’t have to see a doctor, that is only one option, some others would be to see a school therapist, and psychologist/psychiatrist, or plain old therapist. Or to just keep trying on your own. remember do what is best for you, not what everyone else thinks is best.

I have tried doing it on my own it only gets worst i am 15 and i do not want to end up in jail or dead because of my mouth or my anger problem i sometimes wish i was dead so that this would go away i told my aunt that i needed to see someone before it was to late for me for as long as i can remember i have done nothing but caused problems for myself and everyone around me and i just don’t know why,i am not going to allow this to mess up my family and the school is talking about sending my mother to jail because of me messing up in school and for missing so many unexplained days of absents i do things just to get suspended from school i curse the staff the students i just don’t care and never did i even curse at my mother and sister,why just because i can and because i know that they are not going to do anything about.

Understanding a bit about why something happens is usually helpful in leading to what to do about it. Many things can lead to uncontrolled angry outbursts, but not just one way of helping is going to work for everyone. When you work with someone who is trained to help people with anger issues, they should be able to help you to first better understand what is happening and why, and then lead to what the options are to make it better. This information will then be helpful in your making your own decisions about what you are willing/ready to try to make things different. Sometimes medication is helpful, if a major part of the problem is biological, like depression or bipolar disorder, or an explosive disorder. Whether it is or not, better understanding the triggers that occur before you lose it, how this affects your thoughts and feelings, and then what you do before you lose it, when you lose it, and after you lose it, will help you and the person you are working with to come up with an individualized plan to help YOU, not necessarily everyone else. Some people know what they are supposed to do to better control their anger, but just can’t do it. Others may also not know what they can/should do to help themselves keep it under control. Knowledge and ability. They need to both be there to change. Once you better understand your pattern of anger, you will be a long ways to getting better control of it.

The fact that you are asking for help means that you are ready to start taking some control in changing things. Seek out someone to work with you one on one to come up with the best plan to help you do this if you can.

NAENELL6, I think everyone at least once in their life has had some form of suicide thoughts only because there is so much influence of it in society. Don’t fret. Unless you have put a gun to your head and pulled the trigger only to find out that there was no bullets in it, there is nothing to worry about. However, the school can not send your mother to jail. What you need to do is take a different approach of the situtation, I find this helps. When you get upset with a staff memeber keep your mouth shut and wait to talk to them until after class or at a better time, or even the next day or the next week. If you want to talk to them about whatever they did that upset you walk away, just sit down, simulate the conversation in you head with all the cursing and swearing and violence you want. Then you released the anger you want to take out on them. Then later when you feel you are ready to talk to them without losing your control, talk to them and be respectful but upset at the same time. And DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW EMOTION and DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW TEARS. I am 16!!!! I am a year older than you. I have cried in front of my teachers before a few times. The teacher or staff member won’t think any less of you because crying is one of the most powerful things a HUMAN can do. YOU ARE HUMAN. as a matter of fact if you do get upset talking about the situation enough that it makes you cry, they will respect you more, because then they will realize how much whatever upset you really did upset you, and they will see understand better what they can do to help themselves and you to fix the problem. If you’d like to get into more specifics perhaps I can help you better. Although I have anger managment problems myself, helping others first is my thing, perhaps that is why I have that problem, but I always put others before myself because it makes me feel better on the inside.

hi there but i think im the same…it happened to me just today….i get upset very quickly and i can say the meanist things on earth…sometimes i hate myself for doing so….i dont like being this way it just makes life evenmore miserable than ever…..i would honetly like some help as well…thanks for listening…

i need help! not for me but for my mom. she gets mad and blows up over the smallest thing. when i try to talk about it with her, she gets mad and says the whole family is out to get her and everyone treats her like crap. she doesn’t relize that we all walk on eggshells around her. it has gotten to the point where i don’t want to be around her and that makes me sooooooooo sad. she says that she doesn’t need anyone in her life and whats the point cause its all of us making her life bad. when in reality its her making her own life bad! i told her that she should go see someone just to talk about her problems. she went off on me and told me that i need to see someone. my mom has no friends except me and i don’t wanna walk out of her life. i’m a happy person and i love my life, the only drama thats in it, is my mom! my husband says that she will never change and that i need to cut her out of my life, easier said than done! how can i get her to see the truth, shes in denial.

you have to really sit her down, and set ground rules before the conversation begins, with her and any other members of your family that are experiencing this problem with your mother. Once you have settled rules such as no arguing, no one is wrong about what they say it is how they see things, through their eyes, no talking while others are talking, and that you can only talk while holding an object of significance(it could be a book a stick from outside, a deck of cards, etc.). Once you have set rules and everyone has agreed to it, have the conversation. It may not end as you’d like, but it accomplishes things, and allows everyone’s problems to be laid out on the table. Hope I could help.

i wrote her a letter telling her that she needs to talk to someone and let go of the past. i also told her how much it hurts me when she attacks me with her words,every conversation is “my family did this and that”.
she responded back saying “i didn’t ask for your evaluation and its all of ya’ll (family) that needs the help.”
i’m sick and tired of talking to a brick wall!

you need to continue to try to reach her every way you can. try showing her maybe a family home video from when you were younger, and then after watching it talk to her about how much fun those days were and talk to her about the difference between then and now. Unfortunately and i’m hoping this isn’t the case, but sometimes people just change, and it isn’t for the best. However, it isn’t over till the fat lady sings, so just keep trying, and don’t give up. Even if she did change, somewhere deep down inside your mother that you love and remember is still in there, you just need to help her find herself again. Once again I hope I could help, and I’m still here for you till the very end, I’ll help you to the best of my ability, until you can get your mom back. It might sound creapy saying that, but it is because as plain and simple as this website, I’m here to help, and I don’t want you to feel the way you do.