she wants me to get a lisence so i could drive my 10 year old sister hailey to school everyday and take her to soft ball and whereever else and to drop ehr off at her friends house on the weekend so she can drink. i feel useless ot myself.
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if i were you i would leave no questions asked. i would leave while she was at work, so there wouldn’t be added drama. my only concern would be for your little sister. if she is dating a guy that used to abuse you and if she drinks what kinda of environment is that leaving your little sister in. personally if it was me, i would try to get custody of my little sister and move her with me and my boyfriend as well. this way she won’t be stuck around abusive people. Since your 20 yo the courts would grant you custody if you wanted. there are govt programs that you could enroll in to help you care for her. this would give all of you a new start and allow you to experience a better life
she doesnt see him as an abuser n my sister is his blood, she had her with him and shes just like him. she makes excuses for him. my sister may be autistic and mom doest think so she makes excuses too. her ex dont care about seeing hailey, he treats her like gold whenever hes here though. she yells and throws fits and makes it hard sometimes. n mom doesnt do anything about it, she says “oh she’s 10′ but when i was little if i even looked and rolled my eyes they’d yell at me and throw out all my toys. hailey dont evn get punished she knows no punishment. shes growing up wrong. all my moms friends know that one day i’ll go. its hard because sometimes mom can be nice like now, and ill feel bad for leaving.
once i get over the state line i’ll be ok.
we made it in stone 10 min ago, he called his brother n they’re coming next week. so we’re having moms friend jimmy who lives 4 blocks up to pick up hailey from school so she won’t be left at school.
jimmy knows whats up, and he’s aggreeing with us.
im kind of scared because i was brainwashed to be here, this is my home, thats my mom i obey her and talk nothing back, everything is my fault or my bf’s. my dad says im so smart n all he hates that im wasting away here. i had plans to get married n all. me n david were together 3 years this march 2nd.
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Do you have any other family there? Can they keep an eye on your sister’s welfare while you go get settled in your own home?
Well I say move out and get you own place with you boy friend, althrough I do not like the idea two people live together without marriage it better than the situation you are in right now.
Move out while she is at work, then tell mother you will still help find baby sitter when you can and you will help find a good babysitter. Your half sister is not problem, YOU have start living your life and dreams stop worring about what your mother will do or feel and what will happen to your half sister. You still love them both but its time to live your dreams.
One more thing, your father should set up and say something about all this he should be telling you what I’m say now. He said “he hates that im wasting away here”. He should do something about it. He’s the man of house setup and do something. but If he doesn’t then do thing I meation above.
You guys are wright, I need to start living for myself, my dad will say something in time when he knows is a good time. he even agreed to drive and visit us. he loves my bf.
we would get our own place but my bf is giving my mom $100 to $150 a week for food and such so we cant save up. i cant work cuz im here. but in mississippi, we can save up, we can both work without having to worry about a babysitter when we ont have kids.
im not so scared right now, im just worried about when imn suppose to get hailey from school at 3pm, i’ll be in mississippi by then. im trying to talk jimmy inrto it, he knows my mom anyways. plus there is a befroe and after school thing she can go to a homework club until mom gets home at 4 to pick her up.
david (my bf) is telling me its going to be ok, that he will take care of me, he always has. and his family is so supportive, about everything. they found us our own 1 bedroom apt over by a college i can go to, and by a shopping mall i can work at and walk to. davids telling me no regrets. he came here for me 2 years ago and has been here since.
everyone is telling me i have to do what i have to do. Im gonna go and have jimmy pick hailey up, and i’ll leave a note for mom saying (tell me if i should alter this)
Mom-hailey is at jimmy’s, i’m ok.i left for mississippi with david. his parents got us an apt. i got a reality check and i just had to go. you don’t understand now but hopefully you will in time. i dont mean to hurt anyone just needed to have my life back. being here isn’t my life and wasn’t me. im not you. we’re different. now that im where i am, things will be better for you. Tim (her ex) can move back in and help you with hailey and you’ll save money and maybe grow too. All good things will come out of this. i’ll give you some time before i call you so we dont say anything we’ll regret later. i hope one day youll understand. i had to get out before i broke, i know that things will get better for you without us there taking up space and such. i felt as if my independence and intelligence was starting to loosen and by the time i’d have to start living my life, i would hav nothing left but a shell of a used up person. i cant sit around while the world goes by, when you were my age you didn’t either. im sorry it had to be like this but you would be disappointed and angry if i told you in person it would make matters worse.
but i’m ok, and im happy where i am.
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i think once i get to mississippi i’ll feel better because i'’ll be there. im just scared she’ll call mississippi cops and do something or say something. i can just say she dont like my bf, she really dont. plus we’re 20 years old. i don’t think she can do anything. thats what i hear anyhoo.
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your 20 yrs old. getting out is your only option if you want to have any kind of life. she can yell scream call the cops whatever she wants. the fact is your 20 and the cops will tell her your old enough to leave. theres nothing they can do or will do. just take care of yourself and use the opportunity you have to go to college and make your dreams come true. be careful and tc. i wish you all the best. good luck.
That would make a nice letter what you just said:
“Everyone is telling me i have to do what i have to do. Im gonna go and have jimmy pick hailey up, and i’ll leave a note for mom saying (tell me if i should alter this)
Mom-hailey is at jimmy’s, i’m ok.i left for mississippi with david. his parents got us an apt. i got a reality check and i just had to go. you don’t understand now but hopefully you will in time. i dont mean to hurt anyone just needed to have my life back. being here isn’t my life and wasn’t me. im not you. we’re different. now that im where i am, things will be better for you. Tim (her ex) can move back in and help you with hailey and you’ll save money and maybe grow too. All good things will come out of this. i’ll give you some time before i call you so we dont say anything we’ll regret later. i hope one day youll understand. i had to get out before i broke, i know that things will get better for you without us there taking up space and such. i felt as if my independence and intelligence was starting to loosen and by the time i’d have to start living my life, i would hav nothing left but a shell of a used up person. i cant sit around while the world goes by, when you were my age you didn’t either. im sorry it had to be like this but you would be disappointed and angry if i told you in person it would make matters worse.
but i’m ok, and im happy where i am.”
When she read this she will understand.
thank you guys so much, really this means so much taking the time to help me out. we’re going on thursday and right now im excited and have a feeling of relief that im getting out. she’ll be upset and says she’s having anxiety and all but she’ll have it anyways no matter when i leave.
its my dream to study forensic pathology and to oneday find a cure for SIDS. but that schoolling takes 15 years w/ med school and all. i know that if i don’t go now, i’ll start too late.
i don’t know what happen, last week i just snapped and said ‘i need to go.’ all this stuff came to my mind :
mom knew her ex us screaming at me when i was little. from wehn i was 4 until i was 17, i was screamed at, talked to pervertedly, my toys would get put in large trash bags and tossed out if something was on the floor. i used to be so scared of him that i’d almost pee my pants when he came into my room. he was demanding like a drill sargent and looked like a monster. but now i see him as an over grown kid, i have no sorry for him. i was never a bad kid. hailey leaves her room a pigpen, her matress is always off her bed, she tosses her toys out the window and they buy her more n more n when i mention something i get the scorn and told ’she’s only 10′.
but her ex is over everyday and night now smoking cigars in our home walking around in his breifs leaving cups and bowls all over that i wash. hes always been this way. and she says that she’s stressed n wants him to move back in to help ehr with money.
i need to go, if i dont my health is in danger. i have panic attacks and aggrophobia but no meds. i meditate, and excerise, eat right and it goes away. i have real good control of it. mom takes a pill for anything.
but im 20, my hair started falling out when i was 13, stress, depression, i got myself out of that. mom would just say ‘well i have it too.’ or once i fell and busted up my knee and i said that it hurt she said well i have shoulder pain from my car accident 2 years ago.
like shes compeating with me. everyone in town knows what happen to me when i was little, what ive gone threw. everyone is still surprised im even stil here helping her!
i thank you guys so dearly much, to have people i just met understand me its amazing because i felt that i was in the wrong for even thinking about going away.
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You have an opportunity to make a major change which will most likely give you a future for yourself, and not be a servant for family.
Take it.
I will, its hard because she’s being all nice now (she don’t know I’m going) so its almost hard to leave but i’m remebering all the things and i made my choice, its only for the better. :)
i guess its normal to be afraid of a situation sometimes
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Don’t Think About Your Mom, Don’t Think About Anything But You. Put Yourself First For Once. It’ll Be Alright, She’ll Understand In Time. But its Good That You Are Just up & Going That Day, So She Doesn’t Make You Feel Bad & try To Start Anything. You’re A Smart Girl. You’re Old Enough To Just Go.
The City Can’t Do Anything, Cops, Boarders, State Lines They Can’t Do Anything. Plus If She’s working You’ll Already Be There By The Time She Gets Home.
“Tying yourself to me, stitch up my emptiness cause your the death of me”.-The band, Orgy-Stitches
“This Is Not My Life, This Is Not My Home, This Is not Me-I Hate This!”-Static X-This Is Not.
“Pick Up the Pieces I wanna Call This My Home!”-Static X-Dirthouse.
Hell’s yeah it is—but don’t be afraid, be cautious…new things can be wonderful, and you and your boyfriend will probably be happier…it’s great you found someone that cares about you, and who’s family also cares.
G’luck.
How old is your little sister?
go for it. get out. being there isn’t your responsibility. if you don’t go you’ll probably regret it for the rest of your life. if you don’t fight for your own happiness, no one else will. go with your boyfriend
unless ur mother is ill and ur daddy is too
Then you need to live ur life now. I understand the guilt feeling, but ur right.
Go. Just go. Move to another city so you will not be easy accesse to. Move 100 miles away at least. Let the family get used to you achieving your own life.
better yet go to a college that is in another state. look up loans and grants and see what you can do for yourself.
im really going to do this i think its for the best. but i just talked to jimmy and he said he might not be able to pick up hailey. i cant just leave her at school by the time she gets out ill be in mississippi. my nerves are urging -we’re leaving this thursday at 9am.
once i get there i;ll be ok. am i a bad person? mom took me for lunch today, shes being all nice. sometimes she can be real nice but all the stuff when she’s mad and the past. shes talking about dating now and such–not caring because she knows ill be here to watch hailey.
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It’s not your job to be the parent, or to parent your siblings…that’s your mom’s job, she’s the parent.
you are by no means a bad person. you’re doing the right thing darling < 3
im so nervous, thursday is coming up so fast. mom talked to me a few min ago about putting up the tree tomorrow. i hate when she’s nice when i want to leave its hard but i have to remember.
my bf got his jobs back hell be making $700 every 2 weeks. well have our own apt, and spend time with eachother without having to watch hailey or wake up early to bring her to school.
im an adult, i dont know why im so nervous i know david will take great care of me, no questions at all.
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katie_lonely edited this post 4 months, 1 week ago. Read the previous text »
tearing up inside, i’m 20 and living with my boyfriend at my parents house. he’s from mississippi and im from nc we’re thinking about moving back to his house. my mom only needs me as a full time babysitter and all this stuff i feel that if i dont go now i wont go at all. im only 20 with no college no job because i have to sit i feel like im wasting away. my dad is all for it. but my mom doesnt know yet we were just going to go everyone is telling me to. im nervous though.but i really want to go i feel this is not my life, this is not me.
should i do it? i can actually live for myself there and his family is supportive of us getting an apt and theyll help us while here my mom wants me here forever to babysit for her and all. she’s always made me feel bad for her when ever i had a problem i never spoke up i was never in trouble ever. I just want to live my life and see things and be happy. her ex fiance used to abuse me when i was little and now their dating again and hes here every day i hate seeing him and i remember all the times and i stress so badly. my hair actually falls out.i feel im going to break.
but his mom and brother would come pick us up, but ppl are telling me just to go that day while she’s at work because she’ll try to stop us and yell at his brother but this was all my idea. she’s just closed minded and she gets headaches a lot and always wants me to drive with her, my bf tells me its because if she crashes ill go wit her, she doesnt think out that. just about her. n if we go she’ll prob come there and start drama, and say im ‘abandoning her’. i cant hold her hand threw life, its not fare. my curfew was always 6pm, im 20 years old. i never got drunk or got in to trouble i was always a real good kid. we are both 20 years old please help me with some advice on maybe what to do.
i cant tell her ecause shes spiteful and will do something but ppl tell me theres nothin she can do im 20 and i didnt steal nothin and didnt do anything wrong. am i right for wanted and needing to have my life,. i dont smoke or drink or do anything, i just want to experience life for myself. please help
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