Person help: i want to be able to ask a person out…but i’m shy and afraid of rejection….anyone have suggestions? - Help.com

I have a suggestion.
Let go of your fear by facing them.
You are obviously a great master of obsession.
You have mastered that aspect of your mind.
You have a very tight grip on your Desired outcome. I can tell that you are unwavering in your focus of that envisioned ideal outcome…
however, there is always a shadow within the realm of “desires/duality.”
Thus, you cannot help but also be just as focused on the opposition thought. The worst case scenario.
What I suggest is that you let go of both the best case scenario and the worst case scenario and start to enjoy being in the present moment, and not so much in your mind.
Start being YOU every second of every moment of every day, without defining what YOU is.
Start to see yourself consistantly without using anything outside yourself to define yourself. If everything out side your mind, were to dissapear, and you were just a floating bubble of consciousness (play with me here, its worth it…)
Then what would you feel?
Ask yourself this, and feel what would be left.
Focus on THAT YOU.
That part of you is the eternal you, and that is where your power is.
To lighten up a bit, I will tell you a short story.
In Business, the most successful and peaceful business men…they have a slogan. They say:
“Embrace Failure!”
They ask to bring on Failure. Why? Because they have been around and see the world with open eyes long enough to know, that failure is extremely good!
Without failure, a being cannot learn. And if your goal is important enough to you, you should be willing to go through hell or highwater to get where you need to (or die trying/learning…)
You need to go out and fail.
Once you accept failure, you will win.
You will ask a person out with confidance, you will not only succeed in asking, but you will get dates, many many dates.
Make your mind turn completely around.
Start to enjoy rejection.
These top business people love rejection, because they have actually tabulated statistics that rejection has to happen in order for sucess to happen.
There is a great book that would help you out here enormously.
If my words haven’t swayed you at all, go to your local library and pick up a book called:
“Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.” By Susan Jeffers.
Its a great book, written but a very kind and conscious woman, you would love it.
You are doing fine out there kid.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Just ask yourself,
Would you like to be a master at something new now.
You are already a master at fearing rejection.
Turn that power mental energy onto a new mental project.
Try and master being fearless, and arrogent.
Are you ready for such sucess?
Peace~

It’s hard at first, but you get the hang of it eventually. Just always keep in mind that rejection is not equal to hatred. In life there are a thousand people who like you, and significantly fewer who like you enough to want to date you. Try working your way up. If you’re in school, speak up in class, if you have a job, strike up small conversations with people at work. Or better yet, go some place where there are only people you will never have to see again, people who it doesn’t matter if you anger, insult, or alienate, and just let loose. Try picking up women/men in bars three cities away. Get in an argument with someone you’ve never met. It’s easier to be outgoing when there are no consequences, and who knows, you might pick up a few interesting friendships along the way. Once you have what you feel is the necessary experience, try interacting with the woman you want to ask out. Ask her about her interests, her likes and dislikes, and then see what you can find that she would be interested and ask her to do it with you. Whatever you do, remember that what other people think of you only matters to the extent that you yourself let it.

Fear is a great motivator. Being afraid is a good thing. Take your sweaty-palmed a$$ right up to her(and I hope its a girl) and win or be rejected but don’t fail to act. We learn from our mistakes and we grow with our failures. Good luck.