I’ve always been unhappy ever since I could remember…
I always felt so awkward like I never fitted anywhere…I was always so different and when I had someone in my life a friend or a boyfriend I would smother them so bad they would go…I grew up angry at the world at my mom at my whole family very distant from everyone…then I had my son cuz I got married big mixtake not my son my marriage was…then I got into a relationship with a women that lasted a long time that was the worst case of craziness…I tried loving yet another women and both these women just left me cuz like I said I smothered the **** out of them destroyed their lives and mine…now im empty alone and confused…just wondering what in the world is the rest of my life going to be like…Im still addicted to the second women we still have a relationship of friends on and off I still see the first one also as friends cuz I have no one else im scared im terrified about the rest of my life I am tormented constantly with feelings of despair and loneliness and what will I do…im just so depressed and suicidal constantly that I do not know what to do
Since writing this post DMarquis4 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. DMarquis4 is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 6 months and has 1 posts and 13 replies to their name.
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If you’re thinking about suicide, you need to talk to someone. If you’re there, I’m here. (And no, I’m not a shrink).
It’s okay. Spill everything. I’ll listen.
are you writing to me???
hello. have you ever spoken to someone professionally about your problems? it seems to me like you may need some Cognative Behaviour Therapy.
if you want some more info then search it on the web. theres plenty of info on google.
It would be helpful to follow the advice above, but it sounds like you need someone to talk to.
I don’t know I just feel like I mean nothing like my life is without purpose…I been depressed and feeling suicidal for so long that im so tired of this feeling and I have a therapist and a psychiatrist but im just getting tired of talking it doesn’t cure me from this feeling I truly don’t know what to do anymore I sit here alone in my apartment just questioning if I matter if I ever did and what I have to live for
Think of your son. You obviously love him a lot. How would he feel if you took your own life? Not just him, but everyone that cares about you, and be realistic.
Have you got help from a doctor in the way of medicine? My mom has mild depression, and it’s never the person’s fault, just a chemical imbalance. Most of the time it can be repaired or made better with medicine.
Please don’t do it. It would be horrible.
my doctor decided to stop all meds cuz I get terrible side effects and so decided I stay on therapy
I don’t know you, but one of my friends tried to commit suicide, and when my friends and I finally talked him out of it, I couldn’t stop shaking for days.
you need to find your purpose! everyone has one. and you just havent found yours yet. but really you do have a son. maybe for now you should put all your energy into him. do everything you can to look after him and take care of him and be there for him.
i know exactly how you feel. for 4years i have been talking to councillers, psychiatrists, community psychiatric nurses, you name it! and really your right, talking doesnt always help.
you need to do something practical! try and do different activities, hobbies, clubs or something like that. do you have any interests?
Maybe you need a destraction. Have you gone anywhere fun lately? What are your interests?
you know my two x’s the ones I spoke about are terribly sick one has mastesized cancer and the other has multiple illnesses im still in love with the latter and my addiction towards her is strnger than me I feel like I will always be unhappy and obsessive and that alone makes me wanna die
Don’t think like that. You need to live even if someone you love dies so that you can remember them and do what might make them proud.
Be there for her if you can, and if there’s nothing you can do to change it, try not to worry yourself silly over it.
you wont always be unhappy. a lot of people have to go through unhappiness to get to the happy part.
and you wont always be obsessive. you should congratulate yourself for recognising that you have this problem.
you need to stop and think clearly. what things that come with this problem are WRONG. and what can you do about them? how SHOULD you react? then decide rationally how you should be reacting and behaving in these situations. and practice them. reherse them. write them down if you have to and keep it on a piece of paper wherever you go. when you get these obsessive tendancies you can look at your paper.
right now im feeling kinda bad cuz here you are trying to help me and I am doing nothing to help you is there anything I can help you with…the problem with your friend???
That would be great, but right now we’re focusing on you.
Don’t feel bad, I don’t really have anything I’d rather do. And don’t mention it.
Things will get better if you keep working at it. Don’t get me wrong, there will be absolutely miserable times in your life, but it’s not worth throwing the joys of it away over.
There was a time when I wanted to throw myself into the black lake at my summer camp, and the thing that got me through was thinking about my family and friends. If you ever think about this again, think about your son and get help. I won’t be able to talk much longer, but I hope this helps. People really do care.
I really feel like im loosing my mind im scared of being alone im scared of everything is kinda silly cuz at my age I should be stronger and more independent my two friends are so strong and so independent is though they don’t even need me I constantly tell me that I know they don’t need me nd they try to reassure me that they do that they would miss me so much if I were dead and I just look at them with this look of **** are they for real are they lieing just to make me feel good
I wanna thank you for all you have written I am going to think about what you and the other person wrote and wish you lots of luck with your situation I will be praying for you
Don’t be afraid, be ready. You’ve survived this long, as long as you keep your chin up and be prepared, you should be able to survive most of the things the world throws at you. And thanks.
you are so welcome Buhbye
And I don’t know when or how long I’ll be on this site, but if you want to I’m sure there’s many people you can talk to if I’m not here.
praying? why dont you ask God for strength.
when you get these obbsessive thoughts ask him for help.
i dont pray, but ill be thinking of you. good luck and come back if you feel bad again
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