Love help: Can someone explain how love feels? - Help.com

Can someone explain how love feels?

I mean, I’m not trying to pity myself or sound like too down on myself, but i am just really sad i feel like i am missing out. I’ve never had a girlfriend before and i want to be in a relationship, but i have noticed that most High School relationships arent really love: im looking for somthing more real than that. Try to explain it to me, i need to know what if i am really missing out or not. I want two perspectives, one from a teen, which means that you are probablly just infatuated with your significant other; and of somebody who really loves and is loved back.

This closed post was written 5 years, 5 months ago | V/U/S: 15,428, 22, 13 | Edit Post | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post n1lko may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. n1lko is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 8 months and has 7 posts and 281 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

Replies (22)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

Starlight offline Verified User (5 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Halifax, NS, CA | 5 years, 5 months ago (22 minutes after post)

I know what you mean, and by the way, there are some high-school relationships that are, like me and my ex, we really did love each other, its very hard to explain how it feels, I can try however. Me and my ex, whom I still love (we brooke-up, because her parents don’t want her to date till she’s 16)
anyway though, here are some things that are part of love:

-when away from them for anytime you feel lonely, and empty, and miss them
-everything about them, seems perfect to you (thier apperance, what they say, thier voice etc.)
-you can see their personality in their eyes
-you feel more conected to them, then you are to anyone, and you feel you understand fully, inside-out
-you could spend enternity, talking to them and never get bored
-being around/talking to them comfortes you, and makes your worries go away
-you’d trust them with your life and more
-you are open to them, and never hide anything (If its real love you should never have to)

~Hope theses helped you to understand what real love is, or to me, Starlight

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
jenn offline Verified User (5 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Dublin, 07, IE | 5 years, 5 months ago (35 minutes after post)

hmm. Ok, this from someone who has been with one person for 14 years now, has never cheated or been cheated on and who loves their partner more than ever.

It doesn’t feel one way. It changes. You are very observant when you say most of those around you are infatuated, not in love. This stage of a relationship has been thoroughly scientifically researched, and lasts up to 2 years, and is the very annoying stage (to everyone around the smitten couple)where the couple seem to lose all critical faculties regarding the object of affection, can’t live without them, think of them all the time, feel empty when they’re not around etc etc! I’m sure you’ve seen this lots of times, and it really cannot be blamed on the people involved, as certain chemicals in the brain are released which equates to temporary insanity - I’m serious! In evolutionary terms this is necessary in order that a couple conceive and stay together while the child is very young, to give it the best chance of survival. Of course, we’re not cavemen any more but our instincts remain.

After this period, many people think that love is gone because they do not feel the excitement they did at first, and begin to notice each others annoying habits - the way they leave the lid of the toothbrush off blah blah. By this time, the couple will know each other pretty well and have a good idea if they are compatible or not - but I reckon its only after the first ’smitten’ stage is over and you can think straight again, that you can really take stock of the relationship, which is why its important not to make any rash decisions early on..(like having kids, getting married, giving away your favourite cds..!)

If you find you genuinely care about the person at this stage,despite the fact they might annoy you, that even if they left you, you would genuinely wish them happiness in life, and that you are best mates, and have genuine affection, well then, thats what real, deep love is. And it is really cool. And you are such an intelligent and observant person that you will know it when you get it (just remember you will be slightly braindamaged for a while, but believe me, it feels great!)

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Naska offline Verified User (6 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 5 years, 5 months ago (39 minutes after post)

To me it feels like an endless amount of hope and I don’t need to question. Now with that said I have changed my views on what love is many times and chances are they will change again at some point.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Enlightenment
katemonsoon offline Verified User (5 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Louth, 19, IE | 5 years, 5 months ago (43 minutes after post)

jenn in dublin…your expalnation of love is great!! it was really nice to read!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
scorpio81 offline Unverified User #
GB | 5 years, 5 months ago (1 hour, 4 minutes after post)

I think I’m in love…. but I am never loved back.
My confidence has sunk so much now… I will never have a nice girlfriend.
I hate girls, why do you always go for thugs and guys that will never get anywhere in life?
SORT YOURSELVES OUT

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This account has been deactivated.
jenn offline Verified User (5 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Dublin, 07, IE | 5 years, 5 months ago (1 hour, 22 minutes after post)

hee hee scorpio, you sound so scorpy.. I’m presuming you’re being ironic? Very funny!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
scorpio81 offline Unverified User #
GB | 5 years, 5 months ago (1 hour, 25 minutes after post)

Nah.
The girl of my dreams is so nice to me and we have conversations for ages but when it comes to anything further than that she just kisses another guy… it kills me

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This account has been deactivated.
jenn offline Verified User (5 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Dublin, 07, IE | 5 years, 5 months ago (1 hour, 45 minutes after post)

Sorry scorpio. I’m sorry to hear that. I guess it wouldn’t help to tell you that there is no such thing as ‘the one’? Its all random and theres so many nice people out there, really there is, it would be trite for me to say don’t get hung up on one person and no, I don’t understand what it must be like for you. But this wonderful person obviously likes you, cos she’s nice to you and talks to you, so therefore, you must be a worthwhile, good person too; take heart from this, I always think you can tell what a person is like by looking at their friends, take confidence from this. You WILL have a nice girlfriend. But not until you let go of the pain you’re feeling.

I thought you were making a joke because you said you love this girl, then that you hate girls, and that girls should sort themselves out, when its YOU thats having the problem.. step back from it for a moment and think about it.. can you see the funny side? Listen, don’t obsess over this girl. Continue to be friends. Theres no hurry on these things. If its meant to be, it’ll happen, in the meantime, get on with things, distract yourself, get busy; a happy person is so much more attractive than a miserable one! before you know it, the girls will be falling over you..!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
scorpio81 offline Unverified User #
GB | 5 years, 5 months ago (1 hour, 51 minutes after post)

I’m not obsessing over her, there’s been plenty of ‘girls of my dreams’ and I’ve never got anywhere with any of them. Everytime my confidence is shot even worse and tbh I’m uncomfortable even being around girls now, it just feels weird, like, artificial.

I can’t take my mind off it, it’s all I think about pretty much. I’m 17… that probably doesn’t help. I’m not a social retard or anything and I look fine :P I just can’t seem to make girls like me at all. Vicious circle really.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This account has been deactivated.
n1lko offline Verified User (5 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Coventry, RI, US | 5 years, 5 months ago (7 hours, 59 minutes after post)

OMG! thank you all so much. especially starlight and jenn. i swear, every single thing you mentioned i know EXACTLY what you are talking about, down to the smallest detail. It just pisses e off so much that most HS age kids dont get that, so i feel kinda alienated/mature for my age. and, worst of all, the girl i feel like that around has a BF already agh! lol thats really cool though i thought i was the only one to undertsand that stuff. thanks again!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Flirting help.
AlmostLuver offline Verified User (5 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
Santa Ana, CA, US | 5 years, 5 months ago (8 hours, 13 minutes after post)

SO…I guess this would be a teen perspective: in my opinion, love hurts. Not all love, but sometimes, when the person doesn’t love you in return, you don’t know what to do and everything seems black. That’s what it feels like to me. but what so I think love is supposed to feel like? Absolutely sublime. I think love is when you feel happy just being in the same universe as the one you love. I know that sounds weird, but when you really think about it, it kind of sounds right. Love is every dingle emotion, bad and good, all rolled together into one that can cover everything else. That’s what love is…

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
"Quintessential offline Verified User (5 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 47 #
Hammersmith, F1, GB | 5 years, 5 months ago (15 hours, 48 minutes after post)

Sometimes it can be good and other time it can be bad it has two sides of the scale dont get to attached to a person unless you think that there the one.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Whats your explination?
thisisafak offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 5 years, 4 months ago (2 weeks after post)

Love’s like an addiction, the best feeling imaginable when its there. When its gone, the withdrawal can half-kill ya.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This account has been deactivated.
SorryImNotPerfect offline Verified User (5 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
London, 17, GB | 5 years, 4 months ago (1 month after post)

love?
its a bottomless pit of f*cked up emotions.
its great until you find out you can never really be.
its f******** amazing feeling. when i see ollie, i get this feeling im stomache, and it goes u to my chest. then i feel slighty dizzy and strangely happy.
i wish i could really have that feeling. he is so perfect. his girlfriend thinks hes great too…

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: im in love
US Navy? offline Verified User (5 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Chesapeake, VA, US | 5 years, 4 months ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

I can’t describe what it feels like to “Know” you are in love.

It is simply a moment of revelation.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
US Navy? offline Verified User (5 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Chesapeake, VA, US | 5 years, 4 months ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

To add to that, one sign that I was in love was the fact that I wanted to tell the world.. but at that same notion, I didn’t want to tell anyone! I felt like to tell someone would only tarnish the bond of love in itself (as though no one but us two were worthy enough to know). A contradiction.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
baldan offline Verified User (5 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Mason, OH, US | 5 years, 4 months ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

Love isn’t really a feeling so much as it is a verb really. Love is something you do. You LOVE someone. When I think back to the moment I KNEW (RckyMtnCoastie is dead on with that!) I was in love, it really was just a huge rush of excitement at being with him. That feeling waxes and wanes over the years. That initial feeling is not what love is.

I have been married to a wonderful man for 12 years now and I can tell you that true love is compromise and it is very very hard work! You don’t compromise who you ARE at all, but you compromise your view of your future. You know that you would be willing to forgo silly things of ego to gain someone else’s partnership in a shared future. This example to put it more simply: It is knowing that you can live without the car of your dreams if it means you can give your significant other the car of his dreams instead! It is knowing that he gave up a promotion because he knows how hard having small children is, and he wants to be home more to help. It is caring about someone so very much.

I know that being young all of the above might seem ridiculous, but TRUE and LASTING love feels like you get to hang out with your best friend every day and create shared dreams together. If you can’t imagine a good balance of each individual or fair compromise with the person you are with, it is not love. It is infatuation and one person will always end up being hurt.

When I fell in love, it wasn’t just amazing how awesome and hot this guy was. It was amazing that he thought THE SAME THING about me!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
US Navy? offline Verified User (5 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Chesapeake, VA, US | 5 years, 4 months ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

I absolutely love what you wrote baldan. Love is all those things.. a bond that, even when it is tough, is completely from the self without regret or resentment.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
karate_chik9 offline Verified User (5 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Vancouver, BC, CA | 5 years, 3 months ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

true love, is indescribable.
It can be the best feeling in the world,
When the one you love, loves you too,
Or it can be the worst feeling in the world,
When it is a one-sided love.
It is the most complicated emotion known to mankind.
People are always trying to explain it,and figure it out.
But that just simply isn’t possible.
It can’t be explained with words,
And there is no science to explain it.
It just is.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
robin_sl offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 5 years, 2 months ago (2 months, 2 weeks after post)

i think im in love,i know im in love…..he says that he loves me back……but is it possible for someone else to love u when u cant even love yourself?

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This account has been deactivated.
friendfa offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 11 months ago (5 months, 3 weeks after post)

love is not about kissing or cheating it is about something that powerful and without love is not life

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This account has been deactivated.

n1lko closed this post.

This post has been closed, no more replies. Thanks!

Invite Others to Help

Seeing as this post is closed, no invites are allowed.