Thought help: i feel SO bad. - Help.com

What she slit her wrists!!!!!!

Are you an Emo or Goth or something?

why does she want to cut her wrists why did you whant to i dont understand and sorr i didnt mean to cause any har i want to help you

what was she thinking about when she cut herslef?

what did you do to hurt her?

well dont you cut yourself just ake it up to her take her out somewhere nice have a nice meal or something its christmas soon and that’ll cheer her up. also try and act your age you seem like your like 21 lol

oh why thank you your okay to. may i ask kindly what do you call yourself i mean your nat an emo or goth (do they even have emo’s in america? anyway most of all its good you stopped self harm before it really hurt you

Why do you blame yourself , I missed that part.

there are deeper reasons for her cutting than just your relationship. why are you blaming yourself? i mean sure, you are taking responsiblity for the pain you caused her … you still feel guilty. can you forgive yourself for a mistake?

Why don’t you speak to her and tell yoru feelings bud

thats a suprise really it is i dint think you did. we dont have goths well i dont know any and i live in london

Thankyou !…..Well , I would love to help you but I don’t know the story.

It is her choice you are not responsible for her choices. No need to get angry regardless. You are frightened for her and you are hurt by her actions. This is what she needs to know. You love her and do not wish to see her in pain.

Would she go talk to a therapist/counselor about this manner of dealing with pain? She needs other alternatives to coping with pain. She needs other choices … more healthy ones. Who can help her find alternatives? If she is upset with you it would be best if she can feel safe to talk these things out with you. She may not want you to feel bad, so she keeps it in and then cuts … ???

The blame game doesn’t help anyone.

Yeah, it’s your fault for hurting her, but it’s not your fault she committed an act of self harm. And it’s also not your fault that she’s still with the person who hurt her in the first place. It sounds to me like she needs some serious counseling, and you need to have a long talk or more with her. Get her help.

you cant blame yourself it was her chouce on what she did

“Quintessential wrote:
Are you an Emo or Goth or something?

You’re deep. (Sarcasm, thank you.) You look at a problem such as cutting, and you automatically question the cultural significance as if that is the issue here. Cutting is an issue deeper than “goth or emo”, than the music you listen to or the clothing you wear. It is an issue of mental health and a drastically important one.

To the writer, please do not blame yourself. You cannot stop your girlfriend from hurting yourself, but you can make sure her family and friends are there to support her through this. And surround yourself with support as well, call help lines if you feel the urge to hurt yourself.

i said sorry for what i said and he forgave me if you read on you would have notice you prat

Are you Goth or Emo or something?

brightshine wrote:
Are you Goth or Emo or something?

Obviously. Many people think that there is a very deep meaning to cutting. When in reality it is simply a matter of cultural significance.

You broke her heart and she took you back , I think you both should sit down and talk , get everything on the table and start anew , even though it sounds like you both said you were going to do that , evidently you didn’t . Either one of you can go back to the past for a reason to hurt one another !!!If you are to go on TOGETHER cutting is not a OPTION , and if either one of you go back to that , then one of you have to be strong enough to leave and stay away for the good of both your lives !!!!!GOOD LUCK…………………………………….RON.

well, you can’t really blame yourself. her actions are her decisions. by all means help her as much as you can, but don’t blame yourself. we’ll end up with two slips instead of one. if you can, help her build herself up, but don’t let her depend on you ya know? if she thinks she’s nothing to anyone but you, she’s going to continue with this behavior, so she needs to deal with whatever’s making her feel like she has to do it. it’s a matter of coping. she doesn’t know what else to do. but yeah - help lines can talk her through crisis feelings and that alone could help her a lot. she needs help and she needs to know she’s worth more than she obviously thinks she is.

Aside from clothing choices I have no idea what ‘goth’ or ‘emo’ means … I surmise ‘emo’ has something to do with emotions of the sad type … but any how’s … I agree with Ron.

I was in a painful relationship. Didn’t cut, though I felt like it. (too whimpy)

It is tough to give up emotional relationships. For some UN-healthy reason she is hanging on to the pain. I would bet this has much more to do than with your relationship with her. There MUST be an underlying belief system - conscious or unconscious that causes her to hang on to the pain.

All you can do is reinforce to her that you love her. But, if your romantic presence is causing her pain, you need to establish clear boundaries and be there strictly to help her get beyond where she is at with the pain (ie: friendship first and foremost). Otherwise you become a catalyst to the pain.

Sir James wrote:

brightshine wrote:
Are you Goth or Emo or something?

Obviously. Many people think that there is a very deep meaning to cutting. When in reality it is simply a matter of cultural significance.

where did you get this idea? honestly? when it comes down to it, it’s a kind of self-mutilation in the place of emotional pain and coping. i’m not talking piercings or tattoos - cutting are more likely to have suicidal thoughts. this girl tried to END herself. unless you’re a PhD who know’s this guy and his girlfriend INTIMATELY don’t you dare write it off

lol I was kidding.

my bad :)

No worries :)

Maiden Fan, I want to acknowledge that you did bring up the real issues here and where real help can be found for these two.

Cutting is an unhealthy way of dealing with pain and it borders on suicidal ideation. Real help can be found with people who are professionally trained to help people learn other coping skills and acknowledge their own worth.

These things take time … lot’s of time. It is a process, an unfolding, not a switch. (wish it were a switch, maybe it is for some people … ??)

But thank you for keeping it real, your passion for the subject was present and felt.

thanks brightshine, i just really wish that people’s respective views of their lives and the world in general didn’t get so warped. it’s like you get trapped in a black hole, and the reality is most people don’t have to stay there. there are rare cases of people who are determined to self-destruct, but no matter who it is, i hope it never comes to that. i’d help anyone i could, especially with this kind of problem. i know something about it, so melanie - don’t take your girlfriend’s actions personally. she is struggling, and all that means is there’s an opportunity for you to help, and get people involved who can help her even more than you can. that’s hard to accept, but it’s the truth. do not try to handle it all yourself. please.

In my most recent post I describe my experience years ago with what I call the Black Abyss. It was a horrible place and YES I had a warped perspective of life. Obviously it was temporary. It lasted several years. If you are interested, read it.

Suffice it to say, people can and DO get beyond these black places. It helps to know you are not without support. But, the exploration and discovery of self is an isolated intimate solitary adventure.