school help: Hello, I dont even know where to start! - Help.com

Hello, I dont even know where to start!

I spent 4 years in an abusive relationship.My boyfriend was a drug dealer, who was so controlling he wouldnt let me work, go to school, or even have friends.I rarely even got to see my family accept for my dad who he got smoking crack. I remember everyone telling me I would be som much happier if I just got away from him. That my life would finally go somewhere. After I gave birth to my son I finally got courage enough to leave. I left him everything, just took my sons belongings and went to stay with my grandpa. He was on a very tight budget, but let me stay there rent free. But it just caused too many issues with the rest of the family, so I left and came to stay with my mother and her boyfriend. She helped me get a car and a job, and finally I was doin ok, everyone was right. But then my cousins boyfriend took my car and totaled it, then I lost my job. And of course then I lost my apartment. So Im back at my mothers, Ive been here over a year now. Ive been unemployed for 6 months. I have no car. I had to let my mother buy my sons gifts for christmas. And everyone constantly makes there little comments to me about how Im gonna live with my mommy forever and I need to grow up. Or how nice it must be not to have to work. But what nobody understands is that Im on this **** computer and in the papers every day looking for a job! I WANT to work! I hate being here every day stuck with no money and no car to just go for a ride! My son cries to me because he misses preschool, but I dont have the money to send him,and welfare wont help unless I find a job……My dream….my ultimate DREAM is just to go to the Ohio Center for Broadcasting. I dream about being in that school every single day! But its and hour away and I dont have a car to drive there. Nor do I have the $150 application fee to enroll. And do you know what else sucks??? I cant even get child support!!! I CANT EVEN APPLY FOR IT!!! Because my sons dad is on SSI ans apparently thats the ONLY form or social security that doesnt offer child benefits, and the government WILL NOT let child support be taken from his monthly checks. AND THEY DONT EVEN KNOW HE USES HIS MONTHLY CHECKS TO BUY DRUGS AND THEN SELLS THOSE AND HAS 4X THE AMOUNT!!!!! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE DOIN BETTER!!! HE IS LIVING IN A NICE HOUSE, WITH A CADILAC, A RIVIARA, AND A TRUCK! He has a new girlfriend now, another baby with her and one one the way, and still stalks me, tryin to be with me, but Id never put myself back in that position. And I actually like his new girlfriend. AND I know Ive over stayed my welcome here too, but where else can I go. And the worst part is when I do come up with a plan, my mother downs it and tells me all the flaws and why it wont work. Then she has my older, and more successful sister come talk me out of it. whether it be moving into a government apartment, or I dont know whatever else Ive come up with. I dont understand why its so hard for me to survive! I know plenty of single mothers who do it with several kids, why cant I make it with one? what makes me so much more pathetic than everyone else!? WHY FOR GODS SAKE CANT I FIND A JOB!? Its Christmas! everyone should be hiring!!!!!! I dont ask for much, I dont need to be rich. I just want to be able to take care of me and my son………..HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This open post was written 8 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 147, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Christmas, Money, Dream, Family, school, child support, Year, Government, Child, drug (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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