Mental confusion help: Grr…… - Help.com

Is this a trick question? Or will you tell us what it is, you are looking for?

I think I see where your coming from.

I dont however see the logic, if you are searching for something that doesn’t exist, you will not find it.

You can never know if something is unattainable, untill you try to reach out and grasp it.

If it’s something that keeps you awake at night, worrying you. Are you looking in the right places?

Thanks for your reply. It is obvious that relationships are tricky. They are emotional, misleading, and yet, somehow absolutely necessary. The tortures and risks we take seem all part of the plan. As far as looking for something more out of relationships, I think you need to assess what exactly it is that you have. Do you and your boyfriend have a loving relationship? Do you actually express it, through words and through actions? A lot of times, people do not get what they want from their partners because they don’t give of themselves enough. I spent much of my time before, and leading up to, my marital distress just sitting around thinking about all the things my wife was not capable of giving me; it turned out to be largely invalid. So what you have is absolutely imperative information in this matter; I will venture the guess, however, that what you are looking for is either emotional or chemical. The really tricky part about relationships that I have learned entirely not enough about is measuring in just the right amout reality with the emotional high, because the high is just that; a high, that you will inevitably come down from, and when that happens, reality needs to be in place, or you will undoubtedly feel that your relationship is “dead”. Perhaps we could know a little more of what it is you cherish about your relationship now, that is keeping you from leaving - then we can address what may be missing. Hope this helps, sorry so lengthy.

nsnotorio: couldn’t have said it better :)

There are a lot of people here willing to talk this out with you. I hope you feel better just knowing that :)

Depends on what you are looking for in the relationship. First off, be honest with your boyfriend. Don’t start out with the “I want so much more” part, start out with the “I am happy with my boyfriend” part. Then ask him what his thoughts are about the things you are looking for. Maybe he is trying not to come on to strong, and not doing things that you are looking for. Or maybe not. If he feels completely different than you do, you at least deserve to know it, so you can decide if the feelings you are looking for are more important than the ones you already have. A lot of people think that love is supposed to be this huge starry eyed rush where your heart skips a beat every time you see the person. That may be the case sometimes, but it doesn’t happen every day for the rest of your life. There are days and weeks in between those realizations of how lucky you are, and how in love you are, where you just kind of coexist, and sometimes don’t even like each other much. Not turning and running during those times, is a sign of the true strength of a relationship