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thats exactly what the guy on the crisis line said.
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seems everyone is. dont be sorry. maybe its better that way, I tried right?
pleeeeeeeeeeeez dont kill urself
I dont want to but I dont know what eles to do anymore. I just know I cant keep living like this.
just wait until life gets better it will. i know it will
dont kill yourself, if you have money go and buy some piff. It will put everything in perspective.
I use to think that life would get better but, I just dont see anyway of that happening for me. Honestly do you think life gets better for everyone? I think there are some people who dont and cant get better.
brokenwingscantfly wrote:
I use to think that life would get better but, I just dont see anyway of that happening for me. Honestly do you think life gets better for everyone? I think there are some people who dont and cant get better.
I think if anyone tries hard enough, they can make life worth living. I almost killed myself a while back, but then I got clinical help and now my life is pretty nice…very mellow.
for the past two years Ive been fighting and determined to get better. I got clinical help, ive been on meds I write to focus, I see a therapist twice a week. I have done nothing but try and try and try to get better. I wake up every day with my bestfriends death on my shoulders,my other friend lost a leg because of me. The families forgive me and so does my friend who lived.That only makes me feel worse. I have tried every form of help I could think of and I still feel like it should have been me who died. I killed my friend it should have been me. I cant change it or take it back, and I just dont know how much longer I can go on like this. Every one says it will get better, but does it always get better for everyone? I have tried so hard to make it better but it gets me no where.
brokenwingscantfly wrote:
for the past two years Ive been fighting and determined to get better. I got clinical help, ive been on meds I write to focus, I see a therapist twice a week. I have done nothing but try and try and try to get better. I wake up every day with my bestfriends death on my shoulders,my other friend lost a leg because of me. The families forgive me and so does my friend who lived.That only makes me feel worse. I have tried every form of help I could think of and I still feel like it should have been me who died. I killed my friend it should have been me. I cant change it or take it back, and I just dont know how much longer I can go on like this. Every one says it will get better, but does it always get better for everyone? I have tried so hard to make it better but it gets me no where.
I cant say I know what its like to go through that, mostly because I’ve never had any friends until just last year. I’ve been a dorky looser most of my life, no friends, no girls, no social anything. Thats the main reason I was going to kill myself, I had noone. For the longest time I would just exist, no point to life, an empty void where my life should have been. I wasnt only alone, I was a target.
im trying not to lose hope but it keeps slipping farther away, I want to live just not like this. and im starting to think this is how it will always be. anytime I do any thing I think of the 2 friends who can no longer do them because of me. I am reaching out because I know deep down I dont wanna die but I just cant keep this up. im thankful for this site because I might have already ended my life, if people here werent so nice. but the help is getting smaller no the help is good its me that cant seem to accept it any more. Sitting here crying so full of pain, I think its time for me to go. Im not sure if I wanna see another day.
its very strange i had neighbors he died and with in 6weeks she died and i often asked her how is she coping and she answered, you know every night he is calling me sure enough she died its guild what makes you think of suicide get over it how many soldiers coming back from war killed all kinds of people children young and old innocent people there life is the same you just have to get on in life…
How did your friend die? Was it an accident?
Every time I go in the kitchen I occaisionally come across a mouse i’ve caught in a trap. The lifeless look in it’s eyes reminds me of how hopeless I feel at times. I pray and take things day for day. You shouldn’t do things like die on purpose because life is very fragile and magical in it’s conception. Think about the mouse.
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no he died of cancer,but there was nothing wrong with his wife…
scm77 wrote:
How did your friend die? Was it an accident?
I was suppose to be the designated driver but I got plastered and drove my friends home anyway,one never made it home the other went home without a leg. I drove us off the road and into a tree we were going so fast that when we hit the tree it wrapped around and twisted like a knot.
slimline2 wrote:
its very strange i had neighbors he died and with in 6weeks she died and i often asked her how is she coping and she answered, you know every night he is calling me sure enough she died its guild what makes you think of suicide get over it how many soldiers coming back from war killed all kinds of people children young and old innocent people there life is the same you just have to get on in life…
easier said then done. Plus those soldiers had reasons and orders I on the other drove drunk. So nothin but stupitity on my part, and it cost people lives. yes it is guilt that makes me wanna off myself, Iv lived with this guilt for 2 years. I cant just get over it I cant just say its a new day lets be happy. The one person on the planet I could talk to is dead because of me. Get over it? get over it? HOW? how do you just get over it? there is not a swith I can flip and just like that im over it. wish it worked that way but it doesnt. And do you know the suicide rate for war vets? its not all that low. So maybe get on with it isnt the best advice.
If your friend that died could speak to you, I bet he or she would want you to live! I bethe or she would forgive you too.
I agree I think she would forgive me and want me to live but I cant forgive myself.Thats what makes it hard to live. Ive been fighting this battle for to long.
maybe ,i don’t know how old you are but maybe if you can get your self some money a visa do some backpacking get out of the country for as long as you want ,come to Australia ,go to new Zealand both are beautiful you can work as season worker make some extra money and see the world you just have to get out ,its like a smoker the only way to stop is cold turkey…
You friend is in a better place. God understood that situation and you have already been forgiven. You are his child as we all are. You should find a way to cope, get back to that one thing you’ve always wanted to do and start to live for better days. Life is too short. Think of the Mouse.
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Why won’t you forgive yourself? Are you punishing yourself, do you think, and trying to make up for the death?
I cant forgive myself it was my mistake that led to it.I punish myself every day for being the one to live
Was it your choice that you lived? You could have died. I believe God allowed you to live. It was God’s choice you are here.
Allowed me to live to suffer? why I was the driver I hit the tree I should have died not my best friend who trusted me when I said I hadnt had a drink
we all live 4 a reason try and figure it out
Your best friend would forgive you and want you to live, not to suffer. Have you turned to God yet for help?
No offense but I do not believe in god, I dont think there is a reason to who dies and who lives it, Its timing and placement. Its human error that causes death sometimes. I could never beleive in a god that would allow my friend to die because I messed up. Call me crazy but god isnt always the answer for some of us.
fine.ur crazy.GOD has 3 answers toevery prayer
1.yes
2.not yet
3.i have something better in mind
bye
God and my relationship with Him has helped me make a lot of sense out of my life, but I am not trying to force my beliefs on you. Just trying to help… Some people find meaning agin if they can do something for their friend like trting to help others that drink by sharing what happened to them. maybe you could help others not do the same thing that happened to you?
Waiting for your reply but it’s getting late where I live. It said on your message that you have “tried everything I can think of”. I encourage you to try God inspite of your doubts about the goodness of God. It might be the help you need. I’ll be praying for you.
ya.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
suicide eh?
haha suicide is not worth it..
think about it
if u died, ur other friends would feel the same way u r feeling now..
and then what comes out of that?
more deaths..
what u should do
is live life for ur friend
im sure he’d do the same for u
and he’d probably be happy for u if u didnt kill urself =]
btw there r always ppl who care
even if it doesnt seem like it
Broken wings, you have been fighting….look at all these posts, comments. Look at your other posts and comments.
Please come back and talk to me. I have to go for awhile today, but I’ll be back to check.
I feel like im falling into a black hole and there is nothing to grab onto. Im sure people are probably sick of me but I cant leave my computer. I dont know what else to do to keep myself occupied.
I’m glad you haven’t left your computer, Brokenwings. Keep reaching out. If there is any way I can help, let me know.
Keep being occupied here, Whatever the hell it takes okay. you are worth it. You understand? whatever it takes you are surviving here with me, with us.
I am so sorry to hear all this, but please don’t do something stupid. Suicide makes nothing better, it makes a lot of things worse. If you kill yourself, your friend who lost a leg will then be racked with guilt for letting it get to you so much. You will also be putting a lot of other people into guilt, family, other friends, because they will think that they could have done more to stop you.
Whenever i have contemplated suicide it is always the reprecussions that have stopped me. Killing myself would only hurt the people close to me more. The things you have done have happened, theres nothing you can do about that, but please just carry on and give your friend the love and friendship they have always been given.
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