friends help: coming out - - Help.com

Andrew was (16) told his mom first (they’re very close) and she was fine with it.
Sarah’s (18) parents had to find out from family friends that her new date was a girl, They were very excepting.
Ellio’s (15) dad found out and went ballistic, then kicked him out (just for like a week) then they worked it out.

Hmmm…i think the notes a bad idea for this kinda situation. you need to sit down with your parents and talk it through.

I still haven’t. I know it’s not the same to come out as bi as it is to come out as gay, but I still haven’t. I just never saw it as necessary. Why would they need to know about it, you know?

Some people disagree with this, but I’m with Xeno Dragon; I don’t think you ever have to “come out”. I like the idea of getting a boyfriend and introducing him to your parents like it’s no big deal because… well, I mean, it’s NO BIG DEAL. If you don’t have a problem with it, just have the feeling you have when you have them, and that’s that.

(BTW… I’m not advocating getting a boyfriend purely for coming out purposes.)

Maybe just say that you’re going to the parade because you agree with the cause? You don’t have to mention your sexuality at all that way. Unless they’re very against the idea of alternate sexualities, very religious, or you think they’d freak out in some way. In which case, you simply should not bring it up until you’re out of the house, and financially secure/independent.

i think the note thing is a good idea. not before you leave for europe though. how bout before you go to school? (if you leave earlier than them) give them all day to think about it, then you can talk about it that night. Just think, if something happened while you were in europe, they would be heartbroken that you didn’t know if they were okay with it. haha hope that made sense, im kinda out of it.

Say that you have to go as part of the GSA, then. Say that you could lose your position if you don’t attend.

i think they should know the truth. it’ll encourage a more open relationship. plus, if you’re close, you shouldn’t hide something like that from your parents. they probably have a strong suspicion anyways.

Hm… okay, but I’m running out of ideas. Maybe just tell them.

Let us know what happens.

My friend Leland recently came out to his parents — the day BEFORE National Coming Out Day! What the hell! Anyway, he just flat out told his parents. They were dubious for some reason, and asked him how he knew he was gay. But they’re okay with it.

I didn’t intentionally come out…
My mum just read my shout conversations between me and Xeno Dragon one day, and she kinda figured it out. She’s fine with it, though she doesn’t get the bisexual concept. She keeps calling me a lesbian, which I am not…I think. Well, your idea sounds fine. I wish I had done that.

One of my friends told his parents when he was 12.. His older brother is gay..His parents are cool with it..

uhhh, the only gay friends i have are on here lol

Well, it was a harrowing experience for me, it was a cold dark night, I had just got home from work (about an hour ago) and Times said she wouldn’t marry me so I declared myself gay in chat.

Haha.. the most original one i ever heard was this friend of mine who put a post-it on her nose that said “mom, i like girls better” (because she didn’t dare saying it) (what i guess might be the reason too why you think of your flip-card?)

But my own ones are kinda boring.. Did it last year.. I just told my mom one night while we were both in the living room doing post-dinner stuff, leaning my head on the table and being kinda embarassed, that i was hanging around a lot with gay people lately and reading gay mags and that i found myself maybe liking girls better too.

And then my dad… i had to tell him because i wanted to go to a forum meeting of www.expreszo.nl (the dutch national gay youngsters community) and he wanted to know what kind of forum it was.

But the funny thing is that they both started confessing stuff about their own pasts to me, my mom said something about a crush she’d had on this lesbian woman, and my dad told me about gay parties he would sometimes go to when he was a student. And they both said that they thought everyone is bi, but some like men better and others like women better. So yeah, that was really great. such a relief i told them about it. though they still dont seem to think of me as gay (they often refer to my best friend as my boyfriend :S while in fact he is gay too. hee hee)

Post a replyhow did you come out to your parents?i told them i like girls and boys
how old were you?13
how did they react?there catholic a bit hellish they ignore it tho

I didn’t “come out.” My mum and I talk all the time about things, religion, homosexuality, etc. It’s incredible how much we talk. But anyway. I just mentioned that I didn’t know what I was yet, and I wasn’t straight most likely. It was awkward, it wasn’t a big deal, my mum just took it as part of the conversation, and so did I. There was no preparation, I never tried to hide it, it’s not a big deal in my family. My sister is the same as me. So I guess I’m just lucky in that sense.

I still ahven’t came out and wanting to is killing me

i-im going to europe t-this summer

oh if ur parents dont agree with the fact of being gay, ignore it. my parents dont like that im emo

I came out to my friends sophomore year of HS. I told my friend Becky, who responded with “I have half your problem.” We then wrote notes in class to each other about it all. I then told my sis (who instictively knew) and my niece.

Those notes remained in my backpack until my mom snooped and read them all. She flew off the handle. “You’re going to hell.. I will never accept it.. maybe I should find you a counselor who can fix you.. You will never bring anyone home” all of it. Tears, screams, silent treatment.. it was hell. Then she threatened to tell my dad.. oh crap.

She did in spite of something I did to tick her off one night. His only reply was a hug and “Son I love you. Nothing will change that.” Whew.

As years pass, my dad and I don’t say much about it. He treats me as he ever did without bringing the gay into it. My dad’s side of the family undoubtedly knows.. I told my loudmouth cousin to get him off my back and to help him come out too. Frankly I don’t care what they say.

My mom has gotten a lot better, even met my former partner. As time goes on, we ease into conversation more about my personal life, but it has been going on for ten years now. My mom’s family knows, my grandmother knew before she died, and no one of them treated me any different.

It was the best and scariest thing that has every happened.

i was 16, so just recently i told my mom first well actually she guessed and she was right. she took it well i guess she didn’t freak out or anything. and as for my dad i just came out to him 2 days ago and he acts like i never said anything like he’s denying it or something and he still acts like a jerk and **** but i dunno he may just need time to process it or something. and ya i came out to my dad in a letter so that was deffenitly better then telling him to his face.

I haven’t, but I’m scared shitles to do it. I dont know what I would say, I guess I just hope no one finds out…except for cute homos ;D lol, but really I hope they can tell, u know?

X-_-X ; i know how that feels i was like throwing out so amny hints thinking that my dad would catch on but he never did so i wrote him a letter and left it on his pillow.

I think you will know when the time is right and if the environment is right. You seem to have a good environemnt.