friends help: Why do cutters cut? - Help.com

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somehow the rush of pain ultimatly can relieve pain in some people if that makes sense. its very dangerous and you should find alternitive ways of letting it out try screaming really really LOUD!!!! lol

My little sister and I both used to cut. I cut because the pain reminded me I was alive. She cut because all her friends were doing it. I stopped before she did, because I found it unnecessary after a few months to feel pain in order to “feel”. I was going through a very rough time back then and life itself reminded me I was alive. According to my sister she stopped because all of her friends were getting into m ore trouble than she could handle and disassociated with them. As far as I can figure, that was a good move for us both.

What made you start cutting? Or trying to start?

Physical pain overrides emotional pain. I suffer(ed?) from clinical depression. Cutting my arms used to help me feel better. I finally stopped cutting after I found the inspiration within me to quit self-mutilation and to become a better person.

dude why do you cut then? you really dont have a reason to.

RyRy, you don’t know me so how do you know I don’t have a reason?

The stopping is the hard part, just like any drug on the street it pulls you in and makes you feel like you can’t let it go or you’ll die. It was very difficult for me to stop as it is for many others. I’m sure your friend knows where I’m coming from.

Dude. You must be very seriously disturbed. Why would you even make that first cut? You are only doing it to follow the crowd and be part of the “scene” group of people that you think you want to emulate. It doesn’t make you cool, it will only confuse your brain more and get you into different kinds of trouble.

To those of u who cut ,Forgive me if I’m wrong,this is just my opinion/To the poster,Good question.What i’ve learned about it is it starts out as curiosity and bad advice,influences .To a cutter it’s like a temporary fix.like alcohol or drugs is to some.Some can do it once and stop and others can’t stop or control it alone.It,the act of it,becomes a habit.Bad habits need a good habit to replace it and /or they need to face the problem that initially started it in order to beat or get it under their control. Shawn is so right about screaming.Usually a person who does this is lacking self control and assertiveness more than most.I could be wrong but I think lack of parental guidance,attention and more from mothers in the work force and lack of fathers in their lives-(all unintentional),hence-lack of discipline.Children need a reality check-and i’m not promoting hitting etc.discipline is setting limits,etc.Sorry bout so long,I’m really concerned about these people.

Reb-I’am so happy for you and your sister.dis associating was the best thing,hard,but best decision to make.tell her that for me please.and be very proud of yourselves.I send you KUDOS and LOTS of love.stay healthy.

To those of you who cut-ignore what fallen one has said.they are lacking tact,understanding ,compassion and hasn’t faced their own bad habits or addictions.YOU ARE NOT WHAT HE SAID.YOU ARE JUST HUMAN.! TRUST ME.

Fallen-You do make a good point about following the crowd.I’ve never been one to do that.I’m a non-conformist(a rebel) Yes,they do need to distance themselves away from the ones that glorify it.Like a alcoholic needs to stay out of bars etc.Thank you for that.

Little - you know what your talking about. What can I do?to help? I feel so helpless,so sad for them.Give options in coping skills? Help me help them?

i have to say that when i was a small child.. about the age of 9.. i started self eflickting pain to myself. i never cut… but im not sure if it was due to not being something people did back then.. or if its cuz i never heard of it.. however i would dig my nails into my arms until i bled. it wasnt until i was talking to someone else on this web site about cutting that i noticed that if i had known about cutting.. then i would have been one.. suffering with my scars today..

i found that by digging my nails into my skin eased the pain that i was feeling inside my heart… i mean.. the pain was sooo bad that i was feeling that i could actually feel it travel through my body to the tips of my fingers litteraly… and by digging myself.. it eased it some how… i did this for years… until i was about 18 years old… then i was able to get my hands on alcohol… and drowned my pain that way… however once i hit 21, i became silent… not sure why… but i believe its because of the abusive husband i was with… and i wasnt “allowed” to have opinions or feelings… and to this day.. at the age of 33, i am still silent when im hurting… i keep everything bottled up.. i dont self inflict harm anymore… and i dont cry on the outside usually… silence… thats it… and for those who do cut.. i have to say.. i know why they do it… and i wish i could help them by telling them to stop.. however, being that i have felt pain that bad… im not sure what to say to them… except to get a note book and write down their feelings… get those emotions out…

It’s hard to explain cutting. I find it’s because you need the pain, just so you can feel SOMEthing when you’re having a hard time feeling anything at all.

really?? now see i found that cutting/ or as i did.. digging my nails into my skin.. releaved the pain that i was feeling in my heart..

almost like i deserved it… idk…

My heart goes out to them and im glad im not alone in this.some ones got to put an end to this.I guess tis is a start,but i feel like they are my children and feel helpless.Thank you for starting it and if u need any ? shout me,Ill only be on 4 a couple more weeks.That’s real ggod thinking to make sure all is correct.in any case,keep me posted.K?I’am so sad .:(

Lil,sorry ,i just now read your post .just want u to know what i just said is 4 u too.

When I used to cut, it wasn’t for any of the reasons that people stereotype really, it was to punish myself. Long story short, I had a very abusive father in my childhood, when I was 13, I no longer saw or spoke him, so I felt as if I was missing that “scolding” so I scolded myself, really.

I really can’t explain it another way, it wasn’t for the release of pain, it was merely because I believed I deserved to be in pain for whatever it was I’d done. Whether it’d be someone being mad at me, someone seeing me as “different” or bullying me. I blamed myself in some way, and I saw it to be my fault. So, in order to “tell myself off” in cliche terms, I cut or hurt myself.

Not that I’m proud I did it, but at the time, I felt like it was the right thing to do seeing as that’s the way my father used to punish me if I did something wrong. Whether it was irrational at the time or not. I didn’t realize who was really in the wrong to begin with until years later.

sounds like you’ve come to terms with it.Anon

Yeah, pretty much. My pre-teen and teenage years were a very…uh, strange time for me. LOL. I was trying to look after a mentally ill mother, run a household and keep up with my studies from the time I was 12. So it was an interesting turn out to say the least.

I think there was just a time where I needed to take a step back and realize what was going on in the bigger picture that I was disassociating myself from. After a while, it worked. Positive thinking results in positive actions, I like to think. Think you’re a positive person, and sun-conciously, you’ll become that.

sun-conciously-I like that:)I wish you all the best!

ok all i can say is utilize your time more efficiently, cutting yourself is well wastful and serves no purpose, you need to focus on other things something that can actually help your life, you like to read do that it always makes you smarter when you read, what kinda topics of research do you like whatever they are get into them make them a heavier part of you life and exclude cutting from it, if you cut yourself your only hurting yourself and those who love you, if they see that you do this it will worry them to the extreme had a friend who used to cut, so just dont do it agian and if you feel the need to talk to someone anyone or read or go on internet or anything just dont do, best of luck buddy.

…..i do it because it feels like its the only pain that i can control…well my best friend told me that next time i do it he’s gonna tell someone and make me get help…but like its hard…i tell him i am gonna stop and i really want 2 …but sometimes i can’t control it…i just….do it anyways….it can kinda give u a high 2…its hard 2 stop once u’ve started…..

hi im 16 and i know what your goin through. i use to cut too. i just stopped. i cut for 2 yrs then a friend found out and we started to talk and i found out that she had just stopped cutting about a month before and she told me that we could work together to stop.So i have stopped for a month and a half but the battle isn’t over yet i think about it everyday. So im glad to hear that you stopped after one cut i wish i could have life would be better. Good luck

I thought I could stop. My friend, the one’s who’s helping me, told me he’d kill himself if I ever did it again. But every time he asked me to promise i wouldn’t do it again, i hesitated. I got home from school and i took out the knife that i used and placed it on my skin. 3 seconds and i would have done it, i almost didn’t care that he would hurt himself if i hurt myself again. and then i thought well i could just not tell him, but i know he’d know. So i got on help.com and myspace, cause he said to keep occupied so i didn’t do it again, but nothing could hold me over, and again i took it out, but i just couldn’t do it cause i know he would hurt himself. i ended up watching a movie but again i don’t have anything to do.

Felicity-{KIMKRISS} wrote:
Lil,sorry ,i just now read your post .just want u to know what i just said is 4 u too.

thank you hun..

miss lizzie wrote:
…..i do it because it feels like its the only pain that i can control……

So if it’s about control or rebelling why not use your brain to do something that will make an impact on others(not in any harmful way)but for a cause u believe in.

not really rebelling… in my case… when i was self harming.. i was being beat by my parents and being molested by an uncle.. so there was just soooo much pain that i was feeling inside.. and no one could see it… and i was afraid to tell anyone… including teachers or my grandfather who was my one and only ‘friend’.. so when you have pain soooo deep.. you can litterally feel the pain shoot from your chest to your fingers… (litterally).. the pain is that bad.. you find that hurting yourself… helps relieve that pain….

Peace to you -everyone.

I did it because I hated myself. I hated my life and saw no hope. I didn’t want anyone to see them, it embarassed me. It was perhaps practice at times for wanting to kill myself. But it was more punishment. Sometimes it helped when people noticed, but not really. In some perverse way it seemed I deserved to see my blood flow, and then to clean it off, and see the visible scar of my self hatred. I was punishing myself for being afraid to live.
In time, I stopped, because I began to love myself more, and because I wanted the scars to go away, and at least knew, that I was alive and deserved to be happy.

Rabbit I’m so glad you decide to share that with us,happy for u,that was a real step of growth.I cold sense it in your voice,(your words rather),coldnt’ put my finger on it.Any hoo,Thats all thats important that u got that out.Is that why you see yourself as ugly?Honey,just like you tell others that their weaknesses are just a part of them and do not define them as a person,this does not define you .It’s like a stain -It may be noticeable,but its not dirty.Just a color and nothing more.Just please the following:,Soak it up,it’s my testimony from God to heal .It’s written on another post’The most Inspirational phrase.”Please find it now and get back to me.Anything for a friend,kim

There is a few posts here that have site links in the replies that may help.Cant hurt. To sum up what u might find,I would recommend working on habit,addiction(AA) forgiving yourself and confronting issues when they arise.And make a post of your own stating why,how you started etc…

FallenOne wrote:
Dude. You must be very seriously disturbed. Why would you even make that first cut? You are only doing it to follow the crowd and be part of the “scene” group of people that you think you want to emulate. It doesn’t make you cool, it will only confuse your brain more and get you into different kinds of trouble.

cutting is not something you do to “fit in” with a certain group. it’s not following the crowd. everyone has their reasons, and it’s not to “fit in” with this “scene group”.

personally i do it because i’m addicted, i feel worthless sometimes, and like everything is unreal, like life has become a dream. i don’t see a happy future at all. it’s all i have to truly think about, i have no guys to love or to love me, i dont believe my friends like me, i feel unpopular within my family - like everyone secretly hates me, and the thought of cutting makes me feel happy, like i have something.

i wish i could stop, because i know it’s not healthy, but it’s an addiction.

it’s never to follow the crowd. don;t judge people, you don;t know the whole story.

I’m the author of this post….
and I’m sorry that u have this problem. I stopped after my second cut becasue my friend cared about me so much, and talked to me about it, that friend is now my boyfriend.
i no i didnt want to tell people, but u hvae to trust someone. there is always one person who can keep a sercet but help u at the same time. friends are called friends for a reason and they probably do like u, and im sure ur parents would also like to know…i hope every thing works out

This is an addiction and not just for teens. Im in Iraq and one of the soldiers Im here w told me that they cut sometimes bc they just get so fed of w all the BS and stupidity (if your not in the milt then you might not know theres ALOT of stupidity and BS). But they are talkin to the Chaplain and to me and I think theyll get past it.

i know this is a pretty late post but if anyone is still needing help…

..i used to cut every day, almost without fail. it was something to hold onto, when it felt i had no one. i still do cut, but in the past couple of weeks it has only been two or three times.

and it’s all because i confided in my parents, who took me to a doctor. at first i was appalled and incredibly unhappy, sometimes i still am, but he was understanding and listened, and has put me on medication.

i’m far from cured - i cut a couple of days ago because i felt like all my friends were against me - but it’s helped. it’s slowed it down a little, and i don;t really think of death all that much any more.

if there’s one thing you can do to help yourself, it’s tell the person you trust and love the most, and get professional help. it gives you a certain strength, a determination. it may not work for everyone, but give it a try please, if everything else has failed. don’t see it as a weakness, see it as a strength.

soon i hope i will be free from this blip in my life, and i hope you will be too, if you’re reading this and suffering.

i cut cuz of a pain relever and i just told today and he ands helped me stop today

i started cutting because i couldnt deal with the pain..crying and screaming didnt help and i didnt know what to do. I stopped eventually but then when i would get that feeling again i would do it. I did it when i lost a friend and when i felt like i was losing everything or when i was “freaking out.” The funny thing is that no one noticed until i told them and the one time someone noticed i made up an excuse and they believed me. When somepeople found out they said they were there for me and i could talk to them but that didnt last….

i finally thought i was passed it a few months ago but right now i am having that feeling that all i can do is cut but im trying not to. I found out something that really disgusted me and it just hurt that they didnt tell me and that she was putting i out there so much like she was rubbing it in…..and on top of that my “friend” came home 4 her birtday and it feels like my other friends have ditched me for her…..plus my friend and i just fought and i have all of these things going through my head and all i wanna do is cut…..

I’m trying my hardest not to and that y im writing it out to a bunch of stangers. My friends wouldnt understand even though one of them used to cut (trust me i didnt do it cuz she did). i dont have ne one to talk to about it cuz the one person i could is part of the thing that disgusted me and we arent friends ne more……

I dont know what else to do right now im gonna try to sleep and not thin about it i guess….

Have you heard about WILLOW? It’s a new young adult novel about a young woman who self harms. The book doesn’t offer easy solutions to the problem, but it is very much a story about healing, and especially about the redemptive power of love. If you self harm, or know someone who does, WILLOW might be something you want to take a look at. Check out the links below to see a trailer for the book, read what others have to say, or some Amazon reviews.
This is a message from Julia Hoban, author of WILLOW

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0803…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1oz-Z…

http://www.gettingtoknowWillow.blogsp…

That’s how I would feel. I wanted someone to “find out” so they could help me. We all want help. They best thing to do is find someone who you trust and tell them. They probably want to help you.