Love help: I am a 19 year old college student, I got engaged in October - Help.com

Call them crying

hmmm i’d lie and say you got into a fight and ur depressed about ur life…money boy etc… and then maybe they will help u. I’m young also and sometimes when you sound really pathetic the nurturing side of parents come out.

jeaga wrote:
hmmm i’d lie and say you got into a fight and ur depressed about ur life…money boy etc… and then maybe they will help u. I’m young also and sometimes when you sound really pathetic the nurturing side of parents come out.

Lying is a strong sign of immaturity, and heavens help you if you get caught twisting your words in a situation such as yours.

Leveling with your parents and explaining the situation as best as you can, showing that this is a difficult time for everyone, will reveal your maturity in the matter.

okay. you need to talk to them. this type of behavior from parents causes a huge rift in relationships. i really hope it stops before you move on with your life, and don’t consider them a part of it

sit them down and gently (but sternly) explain this to them. if you say something like ‘i don’t want my last memories of being at home with you to be fighting with you’ and that you love them, but it’s time for you to move on with your life and they have to respect that. tell them you’ll work for the money (doing extra work around the house, or whatever). try to explain how you feel the best you can. doing this in the right manner can really show your maturity and insight. also remind them of how much they used to like your fiance and that they only changed their minds for selfish reasons. if they don’t listen, then you’re going to have to try and find a different route.

p.s. could the fiance help you out a little?

You are 19 years old. You are engaged to be married. You are and ADULT which means you need to take responsibility for your finances and your actions.

You woke up one morning with a negative balance of over $700??? That was not an accident. I don’t care how you look at it, it is irresponsible spending and your parents are not responsible for pulling you out of debt every time you forget to put enough money in the bank to cover your bills and checks. You don’t actually need all the things you think you do. You need to sit down and create a serious budget and stick to it. Make sure it includes putting some money into savings for emergencies like when your car gets vandalized. If you can’t cover your current financial obligations, get a second job. If your rent is too much, get a smaller place or a responsible roommate. Your parents tried to raise you to be independent, not a mooch. Make them proud.

I went through something similar.. im 19.. married and have a baby on the way.. before i was pregnant.. i felt my parents pushed me away also.. once i became pregnant.. (im not telling you to get pregnant by all means).. they insisted on me coming home and bringing my husband.. (who was my fiance at the time)..

when i first moved back there was a lot of tension.. after a long time of bad communication.. i eventually found out my mother just felt like she was losing me.. she was so upset that she became angry and felt i didnt care about her.. and didnt know how to handle it because it was hard to push the anger aside and let me know how she really felt.. she was just hurt..

but i dont believe asking them for money is the right answer.. i would just try communicating with them.. let them know how you feel.. how stressed you are about finances etc.. maybe they’ll be generous and help out.. just dont make them feel like your just calling for money.. theres tons of government money and volunteer companies that can help you if your eligible.. when i was in financial trouble the salvation army helped.. it wasnt a ton of help.. but sounds like any little bit is going to help..

Best of Wishes