Love help: My 17 years old niece has a really messed up lovelife and I just don’t know how to help her anymore… please can you help me see solutions? - Help.com

well I believe that the other person doesn’t love you back then it’s not THE true love such as in the love of your life, but it doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t real.
It just means it’s not meant to be.

but I don’t know how to make her feel better…

And she doesn’t love this Martin, he’s her best friend and she said in previous mails that she really really valued their friendship ( he’s helped her through a lot) that she really needs him but just as a friend.

So it’s a tricky situation.
because apparently this martin guy is planning on telling her ho whe feels and she doesnt know what she will do.

Thanks for your advice… here’s some updates from my niece:

“Hey, thanks for your advice Lil’
And thanks for your friends’ advice too, I should really consider signing up on this site…
So yeah, everything’s a bit better now, not all good still but, better.
I’m over Theo, now.
(I’m NOT sayin that if he leaves his girl and comes running to me I’m gonna push him away lol, but I don’t feel sad anymore about him being in a couple…)
And Martin well, not much change on this side, I just made it clear that i didn’t love him back that way and that’s it.
But the good news now, Phil is being nicer to me and even starting to consider me as a good friend =)
It’s not much, but it already hurts less than him just not noticing me at all…
Don’t know where it’ll lead, not getting my hopes up too much but… time will tell.
I’m already happier with things the way they are now.
So thanks a lot to you !
P.S. Hope everything is going fine on your side!
leo”

So yeah thanks to you all, she’s doing better now and that’s great =)

Hey everyone, I know this post is quite old but for those of you who want the end of the story, here’s a rather happy update!
Lately my niece sent me an email, here it is:

“Hi Auntie Lil’s!
How are you?
Remember when I asked you for advice on that love triangle I was in?
Well it’s all going more than GREAT now!
But before the happy ending it’s all been a bit messy, though it was worth the trouble.
Martin told me he loved me, I told him I didn’t.
He was sad but well.
And then Phil finally started to flirt with me.
But Martin was jealous and asked him not to flirt with me.
So Phil kinda refrained.
And I was mad at Martin.
But once, I went for a drink and Martin wasn’t there, though Phil was.
So we had a few drinks and ended up…ahem… together.
So it was absolutely amazing, even though it was awkward then.
Martin being Phil’s best friend, we wanted everything to be okay for him so he told him about what had happened, and Marty said it was fine.
So we carried on flirting a little, even though we tried not to when Marty was around.
But then once we flirted just a little and Marty was there, and he broke down and went kinda mad so Phil went to talk to him and they argued, so I went outside with Sarah and Lin.
I was really feeling down cause I felt that Marty was ruining everything.
But then he came to talk to me and said that it was fine, I could do whatever I wanted with Phil.
But after that Phil acted weird and stopped flirting with me.
And I went to a party and when I arrived Phil was flirting with one of his ex.
And I felt really down and didn’t understand.
So I called Phil and told him we needed to talk.
We saw each other in the park and I asked him what Marty had told him that night when they argued about me.
And he told me that Marty said “If you don’t have feelings for her, don’t touch her”
And he told me that he felt Martin was right, because after all he wasn’t in love with me even though he really liked me, so he felt it wasn’t worth losing Marty’s friendship for that.
I was devastated but acted as if everything was ok.
So it was like that for maybe a week, I acted as if nothing had happened with Phil and I just didn’t talk to Martin anymore because I couldn’t believe he could be so hypocritical, telling me I could be with Phil and telling Phil he couldn’t be with me.
But then on a saturday it all changed.
I was just talking to Phil and suddenly he just grabbed me and kissed me and told me: ” remember what I told you in the park? Well, forget that, cause I really want to be with you, officially I mean”
And I just couldn’t believe it, just when I’d given up all hopes of being with him he had finally opened his eyes.
Happiest day of my life.
Then he talked to Marty, who had to accept it since Phil actually had feelings for me after all…
And since then it’s been just so perfect, I never thoughts I’d actually have a happy ending on that story!
Thank you so much for your advice and support Lilly :)
Hope everything is fine for you aswell!
Love to the little ones and to Fred ^^
xx
Leo
P.S. I believe in happy endings now!
“

So here it is, my niece’s happy ending…
So girls, remember even if it seems desperately impossible, it can always happen!
:)

Thank you for all your advice you gave to my niece!
Love
Lilly

Yep!
I’m glad she managed to get it her way despite all the obstacles she was facing at the start…