life help: Do I let impracticality stand in my way?

'Bell

Do I let impracticality stand in my way?

A person very close to me is ill, and not going to get any better, and desperately does not want to go into a hospice and wants to die at home. All my family want this to happen but with work, and them living miles away, we cant be there to give the care they need, and social services are not doing a lot to assist. They cant give the 24 hour home care.

So…

I was thinking, quit my job, and go up there to care for them. I’ve toyed with the idea with my family who are quite agreeable, but I have my family here I need to be with too that I havent told yet, do you think they will understand? Also, will I cope financially? Mortgage and bills will still need paying. I just feel if I dont do this, I may live to regret it. They should be able to rely on me as family, and at the moment with everybody else careeer obligations, it makes most sense for me to do this. Am I letting my partner down if I do?

This open post was written 1 year, 10 months ago | V/U/S: 319, 9, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post 'Bell may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. 'Bell is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 11 months and has 11 posts and 275 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

life, Social work, Family, home care, Person, Sense, mortgage, IDEA, service, COPE (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (9)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

paranoiaman 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (54 minutes after post)

You are not letting your partner down. You are a wonderful faery being, Tink. We humans are undeserving of your humility, kindness and love.
It will be difficult, without doubt, and money pressures are a huge strain on the most solid of relationships, but I agree with you, if you do not do this, you will live to regret this. When a loved one dies, we can never, ever get that time back.
You are a beautiful person, ‘bell.
Stop making me cry dammit! It matts my fur!

Help me with: Did they just create a new nation state, or what?

logout 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 hour, 1 minute after post)

Your not letting anyone down. Can i ask, are you from the UK?

because if you are, then you can apply for the benefit ‘carers allowance’ and ‘living allowance’ which is quite a decent weekly amount. Also, you are entitled under the NHS to have a nurse come round to do all the meds whenever your family member needs them.

Sorry if your not from the UK because then my advice makes no sense.

Help me with: Celebration of Love.

'Bell 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 hour, 5 minutes after post)

I am from the uk, never throught of that, thats a really good idea. Will look into that more as that will certainly help out.

Help me with: Smiling is infectious,

'Bell 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 hour, 6 minutes after post)

I’m a wonderful faery being…. what does that mean! haha! I wish I had magical powers, decisions would not be so hard then ay!

Help me with: Smiling is infectious,

paranoiaman 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 hour, 15 minutes after post)

Yeah, well. I called myself “human” and got away with it.
I say what I want! I just noticed you’re at an undisclosed location, Tink.
What with all these ‘net weirdo’s its proburly a good idea. Present company excepted. Possibly.
If it wasn’t for the fact that ANYONE WHO’S EVER SEEN PETER PAN KNOWS WHERE TO FIND YOU!!

Help me with: Did they just create a new nation state, or what?

logout 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 hour, 27 minutes after post)

tinkerbelldreaming wrote:
I am from the uk, never throught of that, thats a really good idea. Will look into that more as that will certainly help out.

definately, if you ring up jobcentreplus or go to their website, all the info is there. you can even apply online and they will ring you back to confirm and then its all done.

so financially dont worry about it. But the ultimate decision is up to you. i think your family would understand. but the only true way to know that is to talk to them.

Help me with: Celebration of Love.

'Bell 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 hour, 31 minutes after post)

But they can only find me if they believe, and are good enough to come to neverland… and obviously, any weirdo’s would not be!!! Even fairies have some brains even if they are very little ones.

Thanks for the advice guys, helped a lot, Sorry for the bit of the downer.. all perked up now though.

Gonna talk to the family over the weekend, see how it pans out, it has to be there decision as much as mine I guess.

Help me with: Smiling is infectious,

logout 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 hour, 53 minutes after post)

tinkerbelldreaming wrote:
But they can only find me if they believe, and are good enough to come to neverland… and obviously, any weirdo’s would not be!!! Even fairies have some brains even if they are very little ones.

Thanks for the advice guys, helped a lot, Sorry for the bit of the downer.. all perked up now though.

Gonna talk to the family over the weekend, see how it pans out, it has to be there decision as much as mine I guess.

dont apologise. everyone is entitled to their bit of down time :P

hope it works out ok. your such an amazing person for wanting to go and care for your family member..

Help me with: Celebration of Love.

US Navy? 1 #
Chesapeake, VA, US | 1 year, 9 months ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

Does the UK have something that will allow you to take a leave of absence from work to care for said family member?

Here in the US we can take FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Absence) in which we take time off unpaid to care for yourself or family. This makes sure that we don’t lose our job (or have to quit it), and our benefits.

I know this reply is quite late, if it helps then all the better.

Help me with: I heard a report about memory.

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.

life help: Do I let impracticality stand in my way? - Help.com

Do I let impracticality stand in my way?

Reciprocity (0)

Post Tags (10)

Replies (9)

Invite Others to Help

Help.com Homepage