I guess I need to get this off my chest, and what better way than the anonymity of the internet?
8 months ago my girlfriend of a year dumped me. She and I had been entangled in a long distance relationship ever since we met at a college run summer school program. We spent a month together and really got close towards the end of the program. (you know it’s funny how love works, it’s like she just walked into my life so unexpectedly) Fortunately enough for both of us, both are families could afford to fly us to see each other once every month or month and a half. I guess it was like being on a constant honey moon. We just couldn’t keep our hands and eyes off each other when we were together. Even during the times we were away from each other, we called each other once a day. She really was something to me, and I devoted a fair amount of my time trying to make her happy. I guess I was so attatched because she was so different than any girl I had met before. She just stood out in crowds because of her beauty, the way she spoke, the way she carried herself. I was truly a lucky guy.
This past summer I left for the beginning of a “transitional” program designed to get us freshmen prepared for what our first (and worst) year at a military university might be like. We could still use our phones at the time and I was always sure to place a call to that special girl of mine. She would later go to an ivy league univeristy a hundred miles away. We both knew we would be seperated for a longer time before, but we weren’t particularly nervous since we had been doing the long distance for some time now. Then it happend. Over the course of a few days I could hear her interest in me sliding away. I knew something was up and was powerless to do anything. Just one day she decided to respond to my “I love you” with a silence and then asked if “we could take a break…”
We did.. I called her once or twice after that as a “friend” and haven’t heard anything since. After my 6th month initiation phase (I guess you could call it that) I found out she was with a mr. perfect at her university, and here I was, a soldier in training feeling abandoned, used, and betrayed. I guess the most shocking part about it was the way she just “showed up” in my life and the way she “walked away.” Literally she ended a lot of hopes and dreams with a single, impersonal phone call. Now I have no idea where she is or what she’s doing. I kind of feel like I’m watching the person who was right for me fall out of my grasp. It’s an amazing feeling of powerlessness. I mean, I’ve been trained to think that I can solve anything with dedication, discipline, and confidence. Too bad this one doesn’t work like that. At night I dream about randomly driving (which is already out of the question since only the most senior cadets here are allowed to have cars) and going the distance to sweep her off her feet and restore that past relationship. It has been hard for me to deal with that fact that this will never happen. The only thing I really wanted was a chance to say goodbye in person, you know just to be in her presence again would be nice.
Anyway, thanks to anyone who bothered to read this rant. I just feel better knowing that at least one person might give a ****. Plus I think it was a good Idea to get all that out my system!
Since writing this post grey_cadet_'11 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. grey_cadet_'11 is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 5 months and has 2 posts and 2 replies to their name.
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.