school help: emancipation/adoption/custody help

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emancipation/adoption/custody help

I posted here before already in “16 custodial help” but I didn’t really get much help.

I was adopted at a very early age. My birth mother no longer had the mental capability to take care of me and my birth father disappeared or something. Also, my grandmother was too old to take care of me but she took in my other siblings who were 5+ years older than I.

Anyways, I feel completely unconnected to the world and caged in this “adoptive home”. Even though I know I am treated equally to the other kids in this house, I’m much different from them. They’re all into sports and such, and I’m not. I’m into music. The main problem is that my parents are Reformed Presbyterians. I refer to them as “extreme sabbathists”. In other words, on sunday I am not allowed to turn on a TV. I am not allowed to check emails. I am not allowed to go over to a friend’s house. I am/was never allowed to go outside and play. I am forced to go to church twice a day.

I think this is utterly ridiculous and it interferes with my newly serious band, which is starting to have tons of Sunday shows and I won’t be able to make it unless I find a way to get there with or without my adoptive parents consent. If I don’t get to play, chances are the band will go nowhere and it’ll shatter all of our dreams. We’re skilled at what we do, and we’re even planning a tour this summer, which will also be a problem for me because of my over-strict RP parents.

Anyways, I have found myself completely unconnected to the world and I don’t feel like I have any strong relationships with anyone.

About 2 weeks ago my birth sister of 26 called the house while I was at school and told my adoptive parents some things about my family, asked how I was doing, etc. My adoptive mother told her that if I talked to her I’d probably tell her that I wasn’t enjoying myself here (which is true) and my mom thinks it’s something to do with a disorder I may have or something? Like I’m some sort of stupid adolescant. It really offends me and makes me really angry. My adoptive parents have no respect for me or how I feel, they just feed me and send me to school and force me to do what they want me to do.

Anyways, the question is, if offered by my 26 year old birth sister for me to move in with her, would it be legal against my adoptive parents’ consent? Would my and my sister’s consent over-ride theirs?

My sister is doing well in life and she has a great job, I think she’s like a bank manager or something from what I heard from my adoptive mother, but she didn’t give me as much details as I would have liked. She also kept the number for me for when I was ready to meet her, and I’ve been looking for the number so I can contact my sister without a big “why?” from my adoptive mother or her listening in and commenting on what I say, etc.

I just need to know asap. If I end up not being able to be a part of this band then I don’t really think I have anything else to live for. Just being miserable prevented me from keeping my grade’s up so I’m already screwed academicly. I’ve always had trouble with relationships with girls etc. as well. I’ve never had one and I’ve always been rejected. Failure has become something that I am used to, and that’s why I’m asking here because I’m afraid that I’ll fail terribly if I took this to court and it’d only make things worse. But if I don’t then I’ll fail the band as well. I just want to know what it is like to be accepted for who I am and be happy with who I am, but my adoptive parents always tell me I’m wrong, I’m horrible, they’re always right, my opinion doesn’t matter, I’m a stupid unreasonable adolescant, etc.

There are millions of other things that my parents are strict about but I really don’t want to list them all. Sure most of them are small things but all the small things add up and I feel like I have nothing.

Help.

This open post was written 1 year, 10 months ago | V/U/S: 217, 7, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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number, school, Force, house, Sunday, Year, world, mother, Birth, Parent, custody, Adoption, Emancipation (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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IngeniousNotCrazy 1 #
Scottsville, VA, US | 1 year, 10 months ago (10 minutes after post)

OK. The skinny you’re looking for is here.

If your sister decided that moving in with her would be OK, then you have two options. One seems feasable. The other, not so much.

1) You could hire an attorney to represent your interests to go before the court and tell them that you’re more than capable of caring for yourself. Of course, you’ll need your sister’s approval and help in court to show that you won’t be homeless.

2) You could get your family to emancipate you. You’d be under your own care from then on. Whatever happens, happens.

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Anonymous #
1 year, 10 months ago (14 minutes after post)

The thing is that my adoptive parents will be against me moving out. They would never emancipate me. They have no respect for me and would never believe I could take care of myself.

As for the first option, would it work if my adoptive parents were strongly against it?

~Shie~ 11 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 10 months ago (2 hours, 48 minutes after post)

at 16 years old.. you have a lot of say in where you live. try to contact a law gaurdian… this is an attorney who deals with the children… they have the information in which you are seeking.. call your local family court and ask for a phone number for one… i wish you luck hun… hugs.

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Anonymous edited this post 1 year, 10 months ago. Read the previous text »

emancipation help

I posted here before already in “16 custodial help” but I didn’t really get much help.

I was adopted at a very early age. My birth mother no longer had the mental capability to take care of me and my birth father disappeared or something. Also, my grandmother was too old to take care of me but she took in my other siblings who were 5+ years older than I.

Anyways, I feel completely unconnected to the world and caged in this “adoptive home”. Even though I know I am treated equally to the other kids in this house, I’m much different from them. They’re all into sports and such, and I’m not. I’m into music. The main problem is that my parents are Reformed Presbyterians. I refer to them as “extreme sabbathists”. In other words, on sunday I am not allowed to turn on a TV. I am not allowed to check emails. I am not allowed to go over to a friend’s house. I am/was never allowed to go outside and play. I am forced to go to church twice a day.

I think this is utterly ridiculous and it interferes with my newly serious band, which is starting to have tons of Sunday shows and I won’t be able to make it unless I find a way to get there with or without my adoptive parents consent. If I don’t get to play, chances are the band will go nowhere and it’ll shatter all of our dreams. We’re skilled at what we do, and we’re even planning a tour this summer, which will also be a problem for me because of my over-strict RP parents.

Anyways, I have found myself completely unconnected to the world and I don’t feel like I have any strong relationships with anyone.

About 2 weeks ago my birth sister of 26 called the house while I was at school and told my adoptive parents some things about my family, asked how I was doing, etc. My adoptive mother told her that if I talked to her I’d probably tell her that I wasn’t enjoying myself here (which is true) and my mom thinks it’s something to do with a disorder I may have or something? Like I’m some sort of stupid adolescant. It really offends me and makes me really angry. My adoptive parents have no respect for me or how I feel, they just feed me and send me to school and force me to do what they want me to do.

Anyways, the question is, if offered by my 26 year old birth sister for me to move in with her, would it be legal against my adoptive parents’ consent? Would my and my sister’s consent over-ride theirs?

My sister is doing well in life and she has a great job, I think she’s like a bank manager or something from what I heard from my adoptive mother, but she didn’t give me as much details as I would have liked. She also kept the number for me for when I was ready to meet her, and I’ve been looking for the number so I can contact my sister without a big “why?” from my adoptive mother or her listening in and commenting on what I say, etc.

I just need to know asap. If I end up not being able to be a part of this band then I don’t really think I have anything else to live for. Just being miserable prevented me from keeping my grade’s up so I’m already screwed academicly. I’ve always had trouble with relationships with girls etc. as well. I’ve never had one and I’ve always been rejected. Failure has become something that I am used to, and that’s why I’m asking here because I’m afraid that I’ll fail terribly if I took this to court and it’d only make things worse. But if I don’t then I’ll fail the band as well. I just want to know what it is like to be accepted for who I am and be happy with who I am, but my adoptive parents always tell me I’m wrong, I’m horrible, they’re always right, my opinion doesn’t matter, I’m a stupid unreasonable adolescant, etc.

There are millions of other things that my parents are strict about but I really don’t want to list them all. Sure most of them are small things but all the small things add up and I feel like I have nothing.

Help.

Barbyman 5 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (4 hours, 18 minutes after post)

if i mean if you can take care of yourself at 16 then nothing is stopping you .if ….

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scres #
San Leandro, CA, US | 1 year, 9 months ago (3 weeks after post)

Even though you are adopted, your feelings are the same of children in other families. I felt differnt in my family and didnt understand why no one understood me. I think it is hard to be different than the people who raise us. I also think parents always try to do the right thing, but some times what they do does not make since. Hang in there, becauce the fact that your mom is talking about you shows you are on her mind. I would do what you enjoy and just keep the band private from your parents.

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rayemaye 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (1 year, 4 months after post)

My response will not make your decision easier. I hope that it will shed some light on being yourself and doing what it takes to enjoy seek out happiness. I have not been adopted. I am considering adopting my children. Knowing what you are going through makes me think that I should keep my children.

You will never know how successful you really can be if there is always something holding you back. You should fight to be independent and pursue your dreams. Just know that with each choice/path you take there are responsibilities. Taking care of yourself is one. But no matter what situation your in being honest with yourself so that you may be honest with others and not take advantage of people is another.

I would suggest that you try to seek counseling. Speaking to the school counselor may help you make a better decision. There is no way to tell which will work out best for you, but know that carefull thought and reasoning will help you overcome disappointments and be humble in time of success.

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