Love help: I’m in love with my bestfriend and I don’t want to be what should I do? - Help.com

a little more detail please.. mainly why dont you want to be?

You’ll still be friends. Just a different type of friends…

well most of the time, great loves and best relationships are based on friendships. So you have an advantage there, now you can try hooking up with someone else go for a few flings here and there n something to see if you can divert your mind, but feelings aren’t something you can do much about. I mean you say your in love with em, if you just had an attraction that could’ve easily be taken care of but love is something you cant do much about. I really dont think if your in love with em, it would ruin the friendship. If he/she is truly your friend, tell em how u feel. Either you will start an awesome relationship or else he/she will let you know that they dont feel the same and your friendship would still remain the same.

You can’t push yourself to love. As well you can’t make yourself stop. If it is true love, you will have to tell him eventually, but for now, since I expect these feeling are not being returned, you should play it cool. Down the line you may find that this is just a heavy crush, or (or just a bit of lust on your part), and would find that you will be quite embarrassed by revealing your feelings until you are sure they can be returned.

I had a guy friend for years and we once got to that point, I guess, where we were curious if we could be something more. We tried things for awhile and it was nice to a point, but somehow it didn’t really progress further and I guess it was just hard to think of each other outside of that friendship somehow. But the poster above is correct too, a good relationship is often based on a friendship first, a friendship that grows… so it really depends on the individuals and the situation. It’s great when your partner is also your best friend… and probably if your friendship is solid and it doesn’t work out as something more, you will still be friends… very good friends. I am still friends with that guy in my past, though he is married and in another state now.

If you don’t take that chance, than you’ll always think “What if”. That’s what happened to me, I never took a chance and I lost the opportunity of a lifetime. It’s worth the discomfort after if it doesn’t work out.

meh don’t be afraid of labels. Were all labeled something.. theres always ways to discriminate people of all kinds. And if you’ve talked to your friend about it and shes not interested, well I would say try to divert your mind elsewhere, try hanging out with someone else fooling around every now and then and see wat happens. Also, if u think it mite be a possibility, then try to create situations where u can flirt with her, go step by step slowly at first and see where that leads u. Anyone can be made to fall for u :P

When I told my very good friend I had a crush on her, we talked about it and we’re still friends even better now, yet this crush has grown into somthing much more serious (I havn’t told her). If your best friends and have a good bond them
A) they will just be flattered and remind you that you are freinds
B) begin to have feelings for you

I think you will be ok.

It’s actually very normal to fall in love with friends and develop crushes on them, even with friends of the same sex. You don’t have to act upon those feelings, I am not saying don’t acknowledge them but try to understand what exactly you are feeling

Sayitsso wrote:
ya I know I love her that’s the thing I’ve been trying not to and ignoring it and now I have strange dreams…I hate it

YOur emotions are not something you can ignore easily, people often repress thier emotion and end up with neurosis

Sayitsso wrote:
Crap….so I have to do this … I have to tell her or it will get worse, but I don’t want to lose my best friend…

No you don’t have to tell her anything, what you should do is own your feelings, these are your feelings embrace them. Understand it is okay to feel these emotions

Are you sure you are gay? LOt of young people go thru a temporary stage that can be very intense.

Yeah i’m having that problem also, so i know it’s especially hard when it’s another girl and you’re not sure of their sexuality. Only i told her really indirectly but she knew what i was saying and now she hasn’t contacted me, texted me back, anything since new years eve. So i know what a pain in the bum it is. I’ve been insanely in love with this girl for a few months now and i think it’s the not knowing that hurts the most.
Anyway even though she’s not talking to me i feel better because i have externalised it and that’s the most advice i can give you. If she’s a true friend she’ll stick by you and if she’s not she’ll ignore you. However being tactful about how you put it is important because i’ve been on the recieving end before and found it akward.
So yeah i think you should say how you feel providing it’s the right situation and if it goes balls up then it WILL help you to move on even though it will take time.

one of my mates and i werent really really close but uno, we’d go out all the time partying and generally, stuffing around. anyway, she worked at the bar i used to visit frequently(mainly because of her) and so i used to see her at least 3-5 days of the week. she is very attractive and so of course i started to like her, and we could both feel a kind of tension there. so one night i went to her place to talk about it coz i couldnt sleep, and we were sitting there half talking half wondering, and agreed that we are gonna try it but make sure we are cool afterwards. so just before we started i just stopped, i couldnt do it, i knew that we were just ment to be freinds, so what im saying is that if you do talk about it and try it out, make sure your comfortable with it otherwise, it could be awkward and maybe a bit embarrasing. good luck, theres nothing like spicing it up but make sure its the right thing to do before hand

Heyy [=
Im in love with my best friend too (Y)
but i told her i really liked her before we were best friends.. and after a while she told me she liked me too =]
and we ended up going out :)

before we were close i didnt want to like her because she hated me :P
i wasnt the coolest kid in school.. :P
if you think s/he will understand and not get weird about it, then tell her/him :)

i dunno if this would of helped :S
i doubt it.. but you know :)

xxx