talk help: Please help, I need someone to talk too about my problems. - Help.com

what is going on hun?

yes I want to share. I just can’t talk to friends or family right now about it. We have a 11 month old and have been married for about a year and half, I’m in my late 30’s and he’s in his early 40’s. This is my 1st and last marriage. He hasn’t hit me but, he has put a gun to my head when I was holding are son. He does mentally abuse me so bad to the point that if I hit him I’m afraid that I won’t stop. It feels just like someone holding you down and poking you right on the chest. He is and acholic and has had a coke problem in the past. In the beginning of the relationship I let him know that I didn’t want to be involed with anyone who does any kind of drugs. He said that he quite the coke. That was until we got married. Their has been two times the he has admitted using but, I know there has been more. I can handle the drinking (I do like to relax and have a drink or two) however, he drinks all day and night. He doesn’t get drunk (or I should say Blasted and Violent) but, he has that buzz going all day. He has his routines were he stops at the Lodge that he’s an officer at everyday after work (and if he has to go out to get something he has to stop there.)and he comes home and eats and then goes to bed. But now that we have a baby and I want him to get his priorities straight and spend time with us and help me out. I don’t work because says that he wants me to stay home with our son. I want that too but, he keeps throwing that in my face now that I don’t work.
This is just alittle of it right now. I have to go or I will be on this forever venting.
Thank you for your listening and looking forward to your replies

drinkin and cokin,bad stuff,,and guns.you both have a kid,that did not choose to be with you.
the jerk needs to grow up and treat you with respect.he needs to stop the drinkin on
a daily basis.the coke forever,,only the weak minded people get caught in that trap.
but some cannot get away from it.hopefully by talking with each other you find your solutions,,before something terrible happens.sometimes a fella needs to hear from his mom,they scare us you know and we can’t deal with disrespecting our moms.i hope you the best,,as your kid deserves your best.if he’s gonna be a jerk,,let him be a jerk by himself.

Hon, you have to leave NOW. Holding the gun to your head is not ok, not ever. Mix that with drugs and alcohol and that leaves a very bad story to be written. Leave NOW before he hurts your child. This situation is unlikely to get better over time.

He has control issues. Get out NOW.

I wish I could leave but, I don’t want to loose everything and I don’t have the money to get a divorce right now.
I don’t think that he would ever hurt myself or our son. He would do anything for our son. He’s just a bully that likes to make threats. After the gun situation he got rid of all of them and hasn’t done coke since, (that I know of)
As for RC’s comment, She’s the main reason he is the way he is. His mother is one of the problems in this relationship. She doesn’t like me at all. Our house use to be his Grandmothers and it was willed out to her and she promised the house to my huband when she passed away. So, the Grandma went into the nursing home and my husband moved into this house. The utilities at the time was still in his mothers name. Anyway this situation happened when we first started dating and she accused me of doing something that I didn’t do. I don’t lie so, I wasn’t going to admit to it and I stand by that still. My husband didn’t leave me and she felt that he choose me over her and she used this to make are life a living hell. I never thought a 60 year old woman could act this way. She would call almost everytime she got drunk (she’s a mean and really sloppy drunk also) and would leave really mean and hurtful messages. She didn’t really attack me with her words however, she was brutal to my husband. She started to see that he was bettering himself and didn’t like this at all. As long as he was down she was their for him and she felt better about herself as a mother for the mistakes that she had made in the past. She would tell everyone (she’s a bartender) that would listen about him and how she did this and how she did that to help him. Needless to say we bought the house and everything is out of her name but, I have no relationship with her at all. She did to much damage to take everything back. I know that I should forgive and forget but having a relationship with her would be toxic so I’d rather leave things the way they are.
I have to go for now
Thank you for listening

i am abdoulie live in the gambia west africa i am 29 years old
i was looking for some one to marrige this years i am really interested in getting a woman,,age 29/40
i am an telecom eng hear in the gambia main telecommunication company ltd as a transmission eng
i hope to hearing from any interesting parson contact me at (email removed).
(email removed)

i’m dealing with the samethings but he does not do any drinking or drugs. He just one of those guys with an anger problem who can’t control himself what so ever when he feels this anger. He has never hit me but he abuses me with horrible words when he feels angry! It makes me feel so so DOWNN hill like not wanting to live anymore. I feel like my whole dream is over if i leave him because we have a 19month old baby who lovesss to be with both of us together! That is the way I grew up with both my parents who love each other dearly and thats what I want. I feel if i end my dream (new 3 story gorgeous home, everything you could ever want) I’ll be struggling for a longg time being on my own going to court to make arrangements with our daughter, just makes you not want to breath another sec of air. My parents would take good care of my daughter there the best. I’m 24 by the way who is about to get her massage liscense. But all of that is nothing when your child is living a corrupted life divorced parents. most of those kind of kids end up being made fun of or just always angry. I cant talk to my best friend (mom) about this because then she wouldn’t let me be with him for sure if she knew everything! So i have absolutly no one. No friends or sisters or mothers NOTHING! If anyone could give advice I need it! thank you Jenna

I am dealing with a similar problem my husband is a professional conman I have just been told by the police. I am severally disabled have no mobility & partially sighted, my husband sold my wheelchair last Thurs 19th June & then walked out for the 6th & last time in 5 yrs stealing my wallet containing £170 also my post office card account & my Lloyds TSB cash card drawing all my savings out of own personal bank account a total of £1,610.50 also 2 brand new cheque books & my fathers first ever digital watch that he was presented with the day he left the navy & my father passed away 5 yrs ago therefore it was sentimental & priceless to me is all what he stole from me not to be seen again I hope he rots in hell for what he has done to me I’m so angry as he conned all the authorities into persuading me to take him back everytime he did it telling me how much a reformed character he was. He has pushed me over the edge to know return, I contemplated suicide for a few days especially after the police said they or myself cannot charge him as I’m married to him the system stinks completely all I can suggest is if you’re unhappy do whats best for your children & yourself only you will know what to do. No matter how young or old your children are they will always adjust. I know what I must do for myself & my grown up children is to get a divorce from him no holding back this time.So GOOD LUCK JENNA in whatever you decide! Vivienne

my husband doesnt trust me because of the things he use to do. i forgave him and let go of the things that he did. now he thinks that i did that to get back at him thats not true i dont cheat i cant sleep with two mwn at one time i only have time for one man at a time and right now thats him. he accuses me of sleeping with someone at work theres no one here to cheat with i work at a security desk on weekends everyone is out of the office. i just cant take this anymore im tired of us arguing about nothing i just want it to stop. any advice