whoa, your post is way too long. you think i got the patience to kick it and read all that? got a few sentences in. you don’t trust him because he cheated on you? kitten, sounds like logic. drop the dime on all this ‘him’ bullsnot and tell him to pull his head out of his rear end. dance to a different tune and hook up with some sweet thing that makes YOU happy, not the other way around.
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leave him. it doesnt matter if it hurts 2 leave him just go!
Oh my gosh!!! Get out now… why you are still young. Your situation happened to my mom & lots of other women out there… He knows he has you in a position where he can get away with anything!!! Take out loans, it’s soooo much better to be a little in debt & independent then feel powerless the rest of your life.
I understand where your comming from right now. Your Stuck Hun, We all end up in that position and your not alone. Im only 17 granted, But I see whats happening, If you still love him, Tell him EVERYTHING you said in that post, about how alone and lost you feel. If he cares and tries to fix things the whole things salvagable. IF he decides to be a jerk….I know its your future….I know it’ll be tough…But whats the point of living with him if you cant be happy. Youll be better off on your own working your way up, rather than eating out of his hand like a dog on a leash. You cant let him do that to you. Hell even if he wants you back its not worth it….He doesnt appreciate you….Its obvious…and he cheated on you which is even worse…Just….Hope? A life without hope is a life not worth living…Things are going to work out for you.
It’s obvious he has no respect for you! So you need to make a decision… 1) Get a job and support yourself through school and life… and possibly dump him after being in said job for a while or 2) Take him for all he’s worth and continue using him for his money until you’re done with school then leave him. Whatever you do, it seems like you need to get out of this relationship. It will ultimately destroy you mentally and possibly physically. I don’t think he will ever have respect for you… sorry.
Honey , I want you to read your post over & over again until you realize how your boyfriend turned you into an insecure & negative person . Where are you this life ? there are no you its always him , his needs & his desires . Go & find a job , be independent & leave him . Don’t even think about starting over with him , he is worthless . He is so sure that you love him & you won’t leave him because you have no place to go , you have no money & you expect him to pay for your school . The truth is you are so scared of being alone & facing the world but please get out of your cadge & set yourself free from your fears .If I were you I would look for a job then look for a place to live in & save for my school , maybe you won’t be able to join school this year but you can always join it when you are ready & have the money.
Honey leave him & save yourself .Don’t ever get back to him , he is so abusive & selfish . I’m so sure that you will find someone else & he will respect you as you are . You are good enough so don’t try to change yourself to make anyone love you .
I would rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I am not.
Leave him , save what is been left from you & build up yourself again .
To many excuses to stay and not enough reasons to go.Now stay and continue to be abused(what You are going through is abuse).You are in school,utilize the counselors to help you through this.Got o Your local Y and share Your situation with them.Talk with Your Mother,she maybe still able to help in another way.Do something versa stay and being controled.You are Worth more than things.
Just find a full time job for a year or two to save money then go back to school later . you have to pay for your freedom .. please try .
No one said Life would be easy.However You have to start somewhere.It’s hard now and it can become easier.You already know what You have to do.So stay are be unhappy(which can cause more harm then good)or Learn to live life on lifes terms and find the happiness You do deserve.There is a saying:Doing the same things over and over,expecting different results=insanity.Only You can take control of Your Life.
You have a lot of leg work to do or continue to be unhappy.
Ive been in similar situations myself in the past. Im sorry you are going through this now.
The one thing that Im concerned for you about, is that you mentioned trying to be the person he wants you to be. Even if it worked, if you could be the person he wants you to be, his love for ‘you’ would be a lie. You wouldnt be you.
He should love you for who you are. If he loved you, he would also care about your feelings and concerns.
This relationship is based on lies, deciet and has no trust…….
Dear Jaxee3: I know what its like to be in love with someone so difficult.You do not have children from what I read.There is a man who is praying to meet you out there.In life always ask yourself where will this road bring me,if your not happy with the destination ,change direction.An education is fine ,but it isnt a reason to live in jail ,so to speak.You have a creator who see’s everything your living through,who created you out of His love for you.Pray! ask Him to show you the right road and have the faith to follow it.You seem to have depth within you ,to your own soul be true! Is this the kind of man you would want for a father to your children some day ? If you truely love him that much put it all on the table,before doing so pray and ask God for a sign ,HE WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN !
I believe the crux of your issue is that you are financially dependent on this man, and that may just be stating the obvious, but try to understand that and don’t confuse yourself with emotions and feelings. If he cheated on you and doesn’t feel any remorse, these are doomsday sirens going off here, you need to get out and find someone who is faithful. The question you have to ask yourself is, ‘if I had lots of money, would I leave?’ and if your answer is ‘in a heartbeat’, then you need to be true to yourself and start planning how you intend to get out of this situation.
Setup an account which people can donate to, seek assistance from the government, and speak to shelters for women. These organizations understand fully well that women remain with bad partners because of financial issues and they should be able to help you get a place and advise about finances.. even if you have to get a loan, do it. You are only oppressing yourself by hanging around, just have faith and take the first step towards doing something and God will make a way for you.
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jaxee3 edited this post 1 year, 10 months ago. Read the previous text »
Okay so I feel purposeless, naive and just plain stupid. It’s like I try so hard to understand what he wants and I try to be that. But it’s just never good enough his work is and will always be first. Also he cheated on me and doesn’t feel the need to prove his trust to me. He claims that if I can’t trust him than we shouldn’t even try to continue the relationship and expects me to just trust him. Just like that like if nothing happened. I have been depending on him to go to school and now I can’t leave him because I won’t be able to support myself and go to school. so I stay, I stay in hopes that he will realize what a good girl I am and how much I love him, I would never hurt him I just want to make him happy. I stay in hopes that he will one day appreciate me and all I have to offer. All I want in life is to be happy but I’m not happy here just afraid to leave I guess. So many questions pop in my head when I even think of life without him. How will I go to school? Where will I live? Can’t go home my mom has a 2 bedroom for her BF my brother and the baby. Where will I work? Will I ever find someone else? I just feel like I only want to be with him. I know that I can do better physically and mentally, why can’t I leave? I feel stuck. I don’t want to put up with it any longer. Then I think maybe if I leave him now it will make him realize what he had and want me back……….then when we get back together things will be better. But then I think what if he doesn’t come back. I CAN DO BETTER…. WHY AM I HERE? AM I THE ONLY ONE?
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