life help: My husband is smothering me and I am really getting sick of it. - Help.com

Wow, Im young but my father was the same way with my mom and he actually ended up being the one who was cheating on her so he assumed since he was doing it he was extra paranoid of her doing it too. Not that, that is happening but that is not a way to live, Love = Trust, he is obviously overly insecure and he is destroying you because of it. And eventually that could become a very dangerous situation for you and those you care about… You have to watch out for yourself first.

Well, hang on a sec.
If my bf recently told me tht he was flirting w/ another girl..I’d be paraniod!

That’s not smothering , thats called controling.

No, Smothering can be done without being disrespectful, it sounds like he is crossing that line and trying to make her do things his way. That is controlling.

Relationships are based on trust.

I tend to more dating than actual long-term, monogamous relationships, so I don’t really have a whole lot of experience with jealousy, but what I learned from one of my relationships might help you.
I had one relationship that lasted multiple years and I was eventually engaged to this woman for a time. Oddly enough, at a very high point of our relationship she cheated on me with her ex. I decided not to leave her because she was the only woman I had ever wanted to be my wife, but I also wasn’t really sure how to stay with her. I hadn’t had any real experience in how to deal with jealousy and paranoia at the time, and combine that with the fact that I didn’t understand why she would do it, and I started to act like your husband is. The thing is, I didn’t realize I was pushing her away. I thought that if I knew for sure that she wasn’t cheating, I could eventually trust her again and then everything would be alright.
It wasn’t until after we ended our relationship and were friends again that she explained to me what she was feeling. How it didn’t seem like I was trying to build trust with us again, it just seemed like I’d thrown the whole notion of trust out the window. How I was in fact making her want to go be with other people, because she wasn’t enjoying life with me anymore. How she never cheated on me again and probably never would have because she saw how much it hurt me, but she began to worry about my feelings less and less because she was too busy nursing her own when my actions hurt her.
And it all made perfect sense to me when she described it, but it wasn’t a conclusion I was likely to come to on my own. If I had understood it then the way I understand it now, who knows what would have become of our relationship?

So, my advice is this - tell him now. Tell him that you understand he was hurt, but your action is done while he is continuing to hurt you. Tell him you love him and want to enjoy a life with him, but you are no longer enjoying life because of his paranoia. Tell him that you won’t do it again (if you truly feel that you won’t), but tell him that it’s not something he can monitor for the rest of your lives; he will have to either trust you or not, and that will be the extent of it. And, painful though it might be both to hear and to say, be blunt about the fact that you are ready to leave him if this problem can’t be fixed. It’s a crappy thing to go through, but he might need to hear it. He may just be confused about what he’s doing, and what a terrible thing to lose a marriage over miscommunication.

being a ten year domestic violence survivor.. physical abuse is not the only way abuse can occur… please see the wheels that i have provided for you above.. and really seriously think about what you are going through..