Find help: I have been with my bf for 3 1/2 yrs. - Help.com

That was a very insensitive thing for him to say. You must be very upset, I would be furious with him! First off I would tell him that he will NEVER find anyone better, younger, prettier, or more exciting than you and if he thinks that’s a posibility then goodbye! Second I would tell him how hurtful his comments were, possibly followed by “since I can definately find someone nicer, more sensitive, richer and better in bed than you, i’m off!”

Now that was anger talking. It’s a very tricky situation because you have been together a long time and have plans for the future and kids to consider in all this. I think you have to think long and hard what you REALLY want and if this guy is really the ONE for you. I certainly wouldn’t consider marrying him while he is having doubts but I would make it clear that he either commits to you or gets lost.

Many deep breaths I think. It sounds to me like you’ve got your head screwed on and will make the right/best decision for yourself. I think you are doing the right thing to talk to him about it, making it clear that you wont be there until something better comes along for him. He’s either in it or not. Be strong and good luck.

Yea…the problem with this situation is, if he is thinking that now, he might never stop thinking about it. I really don’t know the best course to take in this situation. In my mind, the “best case scenerio” to have a chance at him truly loving you and not wishing of other moments is to take some time apart from him. Don’t be angry with him. Tell him that you wish him the best and you would like to focus on some things in your life more. Then live your life, be happy (IMPORTANT!!!), and…..let him date other people if he wishes too. Let him know you are ok with being apart for awhile…try to show him that you are not that concerned of him finding someone better. This sounds like a very risky move I know, but if you keep in touch KEEP HAPPY and busy in your own life, chances are better that he will realize how dumb he was being and when you are back together it will be better. Like I said it is risky and the only way it has a chance of working out is that you don’t show your NEED for him and let him make his own decision to come back to you. Don’t stop contact with him, but let him be the one to decide to come back. When people are allowed to decide their life for their own instead of feeling that someone else is deciding it for them, they are more likely to stand by the decisions they have made. Otherwise they could always be thinking “what if…”. Sucks don’t it?