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My husband died a little over a year ago and there are days that I can barely stand to be alive.
The world is screwed up in every way that humans have impacted to such an extent that there are days I can barely stand to be alive. I feel so meaningless some days that I can barely stand to be alive.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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Hun, Hugs to you! Have you been to berievement counciling?
I am sorry that the people you have encountered aren’t available to you in the way that you need. Did you wanna talk>
Your friend, Shannon
I know how it is to feel like that losing someone. It took me the longest time to get over a love one. But you are going to have to find a way to find some kind of peace within. I know it is hard. true some days you feel like giving up but you can’t. Maybe find a hobbie such as, craft, sewing, drawing,etc..
Take care of yourself and Keep your head up.
I’m truly sorry for your loss. Of course there is no real way for me to have known him or you but i know that he wouldn’t want you to go on with life morning like this. Please though, try to enjoy life as he would have wanted you too. Honor his name by living each day trying to make him proud. Go enjoy life, enjoy nature, travel, try and look for joy in the world around you. You’ll find it if you just look , a guarantee it. I’m not one who know’s much about the after life, but i belive that love is quite a powerful force and that his love for you and your’s for him means that he’s watching you some where. If you where watching him wouldnt you want him to be happy, wouldnt that bring a happiness’s to you, watching him smile. Do something for him, and show him your smile, every day that you possibly can.
Hey, I’m not sure about what to tell you except I understand. I sometimes think that love is the only thing that can help. But finding someone without comparing him to the lost one is difficult and takes time.
Good luck anyway.
I lost someone close to me just over a year ago too. (2 years in April) I’m not going to sugarcoat it and say it will all disapear and go away, but I assure you, the pain DOES get easier in time. Just with some, it takes a little more time. I believe that our loved ones still watch over us and want to see us in comfort, and I’m sure your husband may be doing just that. He loves you, he cares for you, and I don’t think even in passing, true love ever dies.
So keep in mind that he still loves you, and he wants you to be happy. In some way, you’re not really without him.
I think of grief as a big black hole that sometimes feels so large that it almost devours us. But slowly, the hole starts to fill up with memories that make you smile, that make you feel warm and observations of your life with that person that are gifts of the time and space you make around such a profound event. Eventually, you become a different person as that event has forever changed you in some way - often altering your path in life. It is something that you just have to go through until you come out the other side. I found journalling to be a wonderful tool. At the very least, I could go back and read earlier posts and see tactile proof that I was slowly moving forward.
Grief is a very painful journey but one you have to take because you have lost someone that you loved. Let me reassure you that it does get easier. Even now if you look back to the moment when you first experienced the loss to where you are now you may notice that the pain is not as bad as it was as first. Although you are still hurting it is not as bad. You may to realise that you are healing little by little. I have come to realise that grief is a wound to the heart that does heal but as you heal you change and learn to adjust without the one that you lost. There are no pills to make it better, and sometimes there is very little comfort but you will heal and become grateful for having known and loved your husband.
alot of us have experienced grief, though losing a spouse can only be compared with losing a child. i lost a father and sister and went through divorce in ‘06 and in the aftermath have been without direction. my faith has waned and it doesn’t seem that i can find support; i logged in here for the 1st time today with other problems that i haven’t found the courage to seek help about yet.
you’ll probably hear all kinds of good advice here and i would echo that of others who said to seek bereavement counseling.
the meaninglessness and greed and stupidity of this world sometimes make me cold or bitter; everyone is interested in what benefits themselves and not in that of others. i have found though that when i get to feeling sorry for myself, one of the best things i can do is to help someone else. i don’t do this from selfish motives; i’ve just found that encouraging someone who is in a worse circumstance than my own has the power to lift both of us up.
recently i’ve had alot of disillusionment with religion because i’ve found so much of it is political, or it’s a series of rationalizations for selfish behaviour. i had been seeking answers and friends at a local church, but discovered it was populated by narrow-minded people–or worse, ones distracted by material things and unaware of their own shallowness. i’m sure i have been one of those people in the past. when i realized that there wasn’t a place of worship for someone who is both open minded and loves God, i began visiting the local homeless shelter. i found that when i help serve dinner there i myself am lifted up, if only for a moment.
in your grief, my advise is to find someone who has also suffered a great loss. you will be able to console that person in a way that few are able, and possibly that no one else will.
I lost my husband 2 years ago November 16th. I can’t visit memories yet, I can’t visit the grave site and the nights I dream about him produces days of despondence and tears.
I’m afaid I might never be able to live a life without this devasting despair and grief. It’s there when I wake up and when I go to bed.
I know many widows who can keep it together, but I am not able too. I hide my grief as much as I can and nobody knows that I’m failing at healing.
I wouldn’t consider what you are enduring failure, this is a growing process. There is no set time limit to when your sorrow and pain stops. But you have to remember to remain living.
Your pain may be debilitating, but it’s been long enough and you can begin to step into the land of the living and take baby steps towards healing. A little smile here, a little lift or pick me up in your day there(Something that brings a chuckle)
It’s now time to start thinking that your husband loved you enough that he wouldn’t want you stuck and just going through the motions, it is so important for us to make memories for those who are going to out live us, and enjoy life and grow as much as we can and make the best and most of the time we have here… it is short and fleeting.
What did you do today? How was your day? Who did you spend it with? What did you have for lunch? Did you eat today? You are strong hun, and really, truly are!
I lost my husband 8 week ago to brain tumors, a perfectly healthy 46 yr old man I am 47, we had an amazing life together, 4 children and 1 grandchild, my world came crashing in on 1/5/09 and he was gone in 25 days, my family is devasted, and my heart is so broken, i wake up each day going threw the motions, I am a mother and i have to keep going, I miss him so bad, i am going to a grief concelor, and she was really good, she had a ton of insight, I cry everyday and always want to talk about it but people are afraid too, if anyone wants to talk email me at (email removed) my name is Lisa
my name is colette 9 months ago i lost my beautiful brave amazing husband my joe i came home from on the saturday by 8 he had pains went the hospital needed an op on his bowel next morning they took my daughter and myself in a room and tod us he was going to die i clung on to him when he left me i died too inside i still feel dead two more ops which gave us hope but he died on boxing day they told him first what was going to happen and the first thing he said to me was im sorry luv for distrssing you people tell me im coping well but i pretend like im living in a play i feel like screaming it hurts so much i wish i coul;d just go asleep but people dont want to hear the scary side so i keep it in side and what can anyone do when the only thing i want is my joe back im fed up with people telling me i have to find things to fill my days like hobbys im sorry i must sound like a weak pathetic person im just scared knowing the man who was going to grow old with has gone my best friend im scared because im never going to ever feel the hapiness totally again so whats the point im sorry
sorry i dont understand
what does that mean try posting some text with the next reply
oh My heart goes out to you, I understand such a love and don’t want to placate you, but I’d like to offer my support to you. If you want to tell someone about the ugly stuff, I’m here to listen. This is yur time to shine and heal in all of this and I offer my email to you when ever you need.
If you need me to listen, I can do that.
You were so lved, and death may think it has the final say, but you do, you carry our Joeseph in your heart and he’s near to you. Death takes the person, but it can’t touch the love…
srnityblu find me at yahoo
sounds like an existential crisis! have you thought about not giving a ****?
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