girl help: My girlfriend is in so much debt, I feel like a jerk.Please help me. - Help.com

with all that debt in student loan she should be able to get a higher paying job. if you both are pulling an equal share than things should be okay. your dauter has already lost her mother dont take her mommy and sister away from her. sooner or later things will get better love all your girls equally cause u can only keep what you have.

Get a 2 bedroom apartment, pay your bills and STFU! Life aint easy so quit ********.

I live in Chester in England and to be fair only just read your post so not sure how old this is… I have alot of debt around my neck at the moment approx £40k which is about $80,000 dollars. The thing is I can pay for it but sometimes I am a little stupid and dont pay my bills and they mount up and then I get nervous to tell my husband as he would go mad!! I earn a lot more than him and come home with £4000 per month my husband is £1890. I got myself into trouble doing far too much retail therapy but I had a reason as I turned the life support machine off my baby boy who was 4 days old as he had a massive brain hemorage. But hey I think to myself as long as I have a roof over my kids heads (I have a 13 yr old and now a new baby of 4 months) I feed and water them they enjoy they childhood and go out to various places nothing to expensive then hey so be it. Life is far to short and I am saying stay together, its money vs Love Any day I would choose Love and happiness for my children, this is of course if you do love them both… Take care Lv Cathy

haha your girlfriend’s in debt OWNED SON :D

WOT

I think that when you actually think about this, it’s kind of a no-brainer.

I understand that money is a huge issue, but if you really love her and your daughter loves her, a bigger house won’t matter, especially to your daughter. What WILL matter to your daughter is why her sisters (or close friends, however close the kids are) and her parent is no longer supporting and loving her. She’ll constantly think about why you left a relationship that was going so well, she may even start to blame herself–or you. She needs a mother figure, even if she already has one…she needs to live with one. Trust me, I know first hand. My father has been through 2 divorces. I know living large is seductive, but what do you value more: your daughters happiness, your relationship/family, or a bigger house and money? Now I realize that you want the bigger house for your daughter, I realize you’re not shallow. You just want a better life for your daughter just like any loving father would. But in the end, what do you think she’ll value more?

Okay, so the second part. I don’t think ALL of the pressure should be put on your shoulders. Maybe she should get a second job to supplement the debt? Perhaps if she gets a second job, all of her money can go toward the debt, and your money could go toward bills and food for the family. That way, you’re not paying for any of her debt, but her debt isn’t overwhelming the family.

The FIRST thing you should do, however, is TALK to her about how you are feeling. If you don’t, this is bound to turn into a nasty argument one day–and it could end very badly. You have to let her know about your doubts–no matter how hard it’s going to be. BUT go to her with a solution (like the one I suggested above, or come up with your own) instead of just telling her that you think this is going to affect the family. If you just tell her that her debt is weighing on you, she’s going to take it like you’re criticising her. So, go in there with a solution to the problem. She should find another job, and the salary that she gets from both her jobs will go to her debt every month. You can pay for the bills and the household things since you said you make more. Sure, it may go by a little slow, but you will have enough to live comfortably on your salary and your not responsible for any of her debt.

There’s also the option that you do it the other way around. You could put your salary towards the debt. She still needs two jobs, but hers can go towards the household expenses and basic necessities. The downside to this is that you may not get the name brand cereals or have the greatest living room set on the block, but it will do. The upside is that the debt will be paid much faster and that means that you won’t live like that for long. If you make 80 000 a year, you can have her debt paid off in a year. If you take the very minimal salary of 18 000 a year, which I’m using as an example for your girlfriend’s salary, you will have around 1500 to spend each month on expenses. Are you willing to move into a little bit of a smaller place to get rid of her debt in A YEAR?? It would be WELL worth it if you ask me. The kids will barely even remember the house they live in when they are that young, they’ll live in the one you both buy them after the debt is over with. If you’re not willing to move in a smaller place, then you can put maybe 10-25% of your earnings to supplement the household/food expenses if you don’t think it’s possible to budget $1500 a month. Keep in mind though, if you buckle down for 12 months it will all be over with (that’s if you make 80000 a year though).

I REALLY HOPE IT WORKS OUT BETWEEN YOU GUYS!!!! Feel free to email me, I really want to know how it turns out!

My girlfriend did the smart thing! She ran away to another town and freed me of her hardships. She runs every few years. Everyone tells me it was a blessing in disguise. It’s not disguised anymore! The hardships are not JUST that she owes 200,000 but that she sees herself as screwed for life, no matter what anyone can do for her. The guy above (Lil’ Earl) and casmangrov are right. You may always be in dire straights with this woman, who you love with all your heart. Trust me! She brings a huge financial and possible psychological burden to the table. When you owe $70,000, you actually owe a lot more with interest. My girlfriend (ex) owes 200K, with interest it will be $450K paying it off after 30 years…without any defaults! What do her spending habits look like? Does she have a life plan on paying the loans off? Can you pay her loans off? Nothing wrong with that if you have the money. Such a nice thing to do for a loved one! My ex spent money on an office that she used for play-not for business. More “waste” of money. She could have done this play in the small house she rented. All her “friends” have offices and that’s what a one day to be licensed accupuncturist does!!! At least she could tell all her friends on Facebook that she has an office and not feel so bad about herself. “Us” would always come after the student loans, credit cards, and back taxes. People told me that she would take me down! She takes people for a loop and gets them all to believe that she has the most amazing life, only to talk about killing herself when she is alone. People…so many people are feeling screwed for life…for life over their loans! Crap, I loved her! I place a lot on love. I felt so much pain when she left to try to make 100K a year with no job guarantees but she set me free! She said the only way out is to win the lottery or to gamble at making 100K a year with a job that is not even real. The pain will hurt…it always does! But, you will be happier later on! Love makes us blind.
Once again, 70K is way way less than 200K. Paying it off is possible! Really hard though. 70K may be 150K after interest and defaults. Remember this! Many lawyers with student loans are unable to pay 70K PRINCIPLE + INTEREST down in 15 years. Making 50K a year is often not enough to pay that much down. How much is left after making 50K, taking out tax, and all living expenses. Can she put 10K a year towards loans? If so, how much of that will go towards the principle? Very little my friend! Does she have a solid plan? Very important! You need to find this out. You will know what is solid and what is fabrication. Besides being a caring guy, you seem intelligent!
You can always love her and send her money if you feel so, but do not join forces with her unless you have considered all what I said…and more!
You do not owe her anything! But, you can help her financially by giving her some money to live and take care of her kid. That is a kind thing to do for any person in financial ruin. I used to be in serious financial debt, but got out because my debt was not nearly as much as lots of others, and I lived at home and mad sacrafices that changed my life today. I was fortunate! I guess it all works out in the end.