Love help: I was with my fiance for a little over a year. - Help.com

big hugs. Sounds to me like you definately did the right thing. Did you ask why his opinion had changed?

You absolutely did the right thing.

See if your cell phone supports blocking text from a particular person. Put him out of your mind.

Yes. He said it was because he had felt like he would have to give up everything he wanted for the sake of a relationship. He said when we broke up he realized he had been putting off his goals for ours. That hurt because I never asked him to. In any case, thank you so very much for the hug!!

It sounds like you did the right thing.

On his behalf it seems to me that he only wanted a piece of you (I’m sure you can guess which piece) and not your whole self. I’m glad that you ended the relationship before you got married as (you can see now) it would’ve been disastrous. You are proof that following your heart is the only way to figure things out when you have no idea what’s going on.

I know. It’s hard not to respond to the texts because the truth is I love him. I know i have to leave him alone because he doesn’t really know what he wants. But, that is easier said than done. I have been successful so far, but it’s only been 24hrs.

I went thru the same thing a while back and it is very difficult. You are attached at the soul and have realized over and over again that you aren’t the right people for each other. You need some time just to be yourself and find what makes you happy again. I asked the girl I was madly in love with to respect my wishes and please don’t call me or text me anymore and I will reach out to them when I am ready. This is very tough to do because you will have many moments of weakness. By him writing, he’s staying fresh in your mind and that’s what you have to break to make decisions on what’s right in your life. Needless to say, I really found my soulmate about 1.5 years later when I wasn’t even looking and still after 2 years of being together, it’s still bliss. I wish you the same luck!!

Thank you so very much. The sad part is that part of me is still hoping he will come to his senses and realize what he has. I know that is wishing thinking so I have maintained my distance.

Hell yes woman, you did the right thing.

I had that happen once with my most recent ex, and I felt like I wasted 2 years of my life with him.

That boy is selfish and doesn’t really care about you, or your feelings, he just wants to be happy and have what he wants without the commitment or honesty that you deserve.

You didn’t lie, you told him upfront what you wanted.
Don’t let it get you down.
You’ll find someone who loves AND respects you—and shares in your dreams for the future.

That’s the soul part that is keeping you attached. You will always love him and have a part in your heart. You’ve tried and tried and tried - sometimes, it’s in a greater plan why it just didn’t work out. Be well.

Thank you I will.

I think you are a strong person to break it off. You did the right thing. You know what you want in life. Don’t settle for less.

Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement.

You sound like too nice a young woman to saddle yourself with this loser. You talk about “loving” him, but I think what you are describing as love is probably a mixture of infatuation, need, physical attraction, and being sentimentally attached to your memories of the good times you did share. Add in bit of embarrassment at having to announce a dis-engagement, and it’s a powerful combination.

But remember, your business in choosing a mate is not just to find someone who gets the juices flowing, but to find someone who gets the juices flowing AND who will be a good lifetime partner–a good husband, good friend, good partner.

This man has already deserted the mother of his child (except he sounds like he’s till got her dangling on a string). He misused the woman he met at “the club” (whatever that is). What makes you think he won’t abandon or misuse you? What makes you think the disrespectful way he is treating you now won’t persist throughout his lifetime? What makes you think this leopard can change his spots?

Chalk this one up to experience, and start looking for someone who is nice, faithful, true, responsible, and not prone to one-night stands at “the club.” You deserve it.

You sound like too nice a young woman to saddle yourself with this loser. You talk about “loving” him, but I think what you are describing as love is probably a mixture of infatuation, need, physical attraction, and being sentimentally attached to your memories of the good times you did share. Add in bit of embarrassment at having to announce a dis-engagement, and it’s a powerful combination.

But remember, your business in choosing a mate is not just to find someone who gets the juices flowing, but to find someone who gets the juices flowing AND who will be a good lifetime partner–a good husband, good friend, good partner.

This man has already deserted the mother of his child (except he sounds like he’s still got her dangling on a string). He misused the woman he met at “the club” (whatever that is). What makes you think he won’t abandon or misuse you? What makes you think the disrespectful way he is treating you now won’t persist throughout his lifetime? What makes you think this leopard can change his spots?

Chalk this one up to experience, and start looking for someone who is nice, faithful, true, responsible, and not prone to one-night stands at “the club.” You deserve it.

Well it sound like he does love you but not enough to marry you and to have kids. Just tell do not contact you anymore, then do not respond to him anymore he will so go away.

I think you have been really strong to get where you are already. We have all been in situations where we know what the right thing to do is, but dont have the strnegth to do it, even if it makes the apin harder. You should be very proud of yourself, and time will heal, He is obviously not right for you at the moment, Who knows in the future when he’s got his head clear, he may be, but leave him to it, and he may just realise what he’s lost, and be sure of what he wants. Dont wait around though, everything happens for a reason, and you will get through this.

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. We have been talking and he says my words hurt him so much they made him not want to get married. I told him that is a small problem that can be worked out. I can’t just walk away. I want to but I can’t. God made us a promise and I am trusting in him for that… even if I look stupid in the process. God does not make mistakes. Pray for me please. Pray for God’s will to be done, regardless of what it is.

Thank you again!!

I will pray for you.

I’ll be sending prayers your way as well.

Thank You for your prayers!