Love help: im going to be going Alabama on valentines day to stay with my bf and his mom for a month or two. - Help.com

PochoRican200
offline Verified (1 year, 11 months) Visit PochoRican200's shoutbox
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im going to be going Alabama on valentines day to stay with my bf and his mom for a month or two.

i am going to live with them during my senior year (I’m a junior now) and come back to Hawaii for breaks weekends holidays and stuff like that. both my parents passed and i’m staying with my older cousin. hes 28 and has 2 kids. my cousin is letting me do this. my bf moved to Alabama from here about 5 months ago. we are in love and have been making it work even tho there is a huge distance. we have been going out for a little over a year. do you guys think it is a good idea for me to go live with them in Alabama and leave my cousin his kids and all my frens? i know i want to do it but everyone thinks I’m making a mistake y are they thinking that?

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PochoRican200 edited this post 1 year, 9 months ago. Read the previous text »

im going to be going alabama on valentines day to stay with my bf and his mom for a month or two. i am going to live with them during my senior year (im a junior now) and come back to hawaii for breaks weekends holidays and stuff like that. both my parents passed and im staying with my older cousin. hes 28 and has 2 kids. my cousin is letting me do this. my bf moved to alabama from here about 5 months ago. we are in love and have been making it work even tho there is a huge distance. we have been going out for a lil over a year. do you guys think it is a good idea for me to go live with them?

Anonymous #
1 year, 9 months ago (4 minutes after post)

Being with him and making it work through the distance is great… but living with him AND his mom isn’t.

There will be a point where you two might think about marriage, and you don’t want his mom to be talking trash about how you were when you lived there.

Anyway, senior year is a really important time in someone’s life. Graduation, prom, etc.. your parents should be there for those memories.

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (9 minutes after post)

well i know his mom and when my mom and dad were alive we helped them A LOT. and my parents cant be there for my graduation and stuff =[

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Anonymous #
1 year, 9 months ago (11 minutes after post)

Omg I’m soooo sorry. Well, maybe. But one thing to consider is that his mom will more than likely side with him if you two fight or disagree on something jsut because it’s her son. That can cause a lot of tension..

But if you are dead set on it, jsut do it. You’re young, in love.. just live your life. It’ll all work out

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PochoRican200 edited this post 1 year, 9 months ago. Read the previous text »

im going to be going alabama on valentines day to stay with my bf and his mom for a month or two. i am going to live with them during my senior year (im a junior now) and come back to hawaii for breaks weekends holidays and stuff like that. both my parents passed and im staying with my older cousin. hes 28 and has 2 kids. my cousin is letting me do this. my bf moved to alabama from here about 5 months ago. we are in love and have been making it work even tho there is a huge distance. we have been going out for a lil over a year. do you guys think it is a good idea for me to go live with them in alabama and leave my cousin his kids and all my frens? i know i want to do it but everyone thinks im making a mistake y are they thinking that?

garthwhit offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 2 minutes after post)

tell me some of the things your friends are saying about you goin..

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 4 minutes after post)

that i shouldnt go to alabama just to be with him and that theres nothing for me in alabama and the school my bf goes to isnt as good as the one i am going to now because atm i am going to a college prep private school =[

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garthwhit offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 6 minutes after post)

what do they say about the relationship between you and b/f ?

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 11 minutes after post)

Some people say we are the best couple have been voted that for our class hall of fame last year lol and they know we are going to be together forever. Some people think that its to good to be true and we are both to good to be true idk its weird some people hate it and some people love it.

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 12 minutes after post)

some stupid ppl just want me to stay in hawaii tho just because of basketball

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notm offline Unverified User #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 13 minutes after post)

What happens if you move there and things don’t work out. Then where will stay?

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 17 minutes after post)

i dont know id probaly come back to hawaii but i really dont seem anything happening in our relationship we are both in love and have been thru a lot already. hes really sincere and tells me about how he wouldnt be the one to leave me if something did happen and i said the same too. we decided the only way we would break up is if one of us cheated on the ohter

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babacup offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 14 #
Indianapolis, IN, US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 25 minutes after post)

If your current school is the better school your should finish senior year where you are. Plus moving to a new school and then living with your boyfriend seems a bit hard. A big adjustment. Try staying with him this summer and see how that works out. See If you are comfortable living there.

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 27 minutes after post)

i will be doing that =] im going to go on valentines day stay til mid march. come back to hawaii for my sisters bday then im going back til summer then we are both going to come back to hawaii and talk about my senior year wiht my cousin

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garthwhit offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 27 minutes after post)

If you are just going to visit for a 3 to 4 weeks (I recommend no longer), vaction I would say that’s ok. While you are visiting make an assesment of things (enveronment, lifestyle at home, his/ your plans, his commitment…etc . Talk about WHAT IF’S.
Also use the time to get to know him (not that way lol), but how does he treat his mom. Ask (discreatly) would he have done the same if the roll had been reversed…
Also your future happyness depends on the success of your education…VERY IMPORTANT!!

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 33 minutes after post)

haha get to know him how hmm lmao well we both decided to be abstinent lmao but its weird we have talked about all that already. another reason i want to go there to is that they have better medical stuff on the mainland then they do in hawaii. i have a tumor =[ so yea i want good docs instead of the quacks here. and its not like i dont know his mom =P we cool and i talk to her almost everytime i talk to my bf. but i guess i can still see how he treats her at home and stuff

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notm offline Unverified User #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 35 minutes after post)

Looking back twenty years from now, if you are still together would you rather have spent the time with friends and your family that is left or with him during the next year? If you are committed to each other, then you have nothing to loose. If he is committed to you he can wait a year. If he can not wait, he will not be committed to you a year from now or twenty years from now.

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 37 minutes after post)

he said he would wait. but i miss being with him i miss his hugs and him talking to me and stuff i want to be with him =[

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notm offline Unverified User #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 40 minutes after post)

I am can understand that. You have lost a lot in life already. You have found love and you don’t want to loose it. It feels good to have someone that is there for just you.

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notm offline Unverified User #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 43 minutes after post)

This may not be your thing, but have you talked to God about it?

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 43 minutes after post)

my bf has helped me through the death of my parents and helped me with all my medical stuff and been there for me 100% of the time. i just don’t want to go through it alone i want to be with him again and get thru it together

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garthwhit offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 47 minutes after post)

based on your comments and responces it think you are a very inteligent person and I am confident that you will let better judgement be your guide. You already know what your heart want’s to do, take some time to bring your HEART AND BRAIN together to make the best decision.

Sorry :( to hear about your tumor…wanna open a post on it?
I will give you a shout K?

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 49 minutes after post)

ok. i might lol

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notm offline Unverified User #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 57 minutes after post)

If it’s ok, I would like to pray for you. I would also like to tell me wife so we can both be in prayer for you. If you want to get in contact with me I have created a forwarding address for you (email removed). This will go to my home email. I am having internet issues, so I hope I will be able to answer if you send something. Let me know if it would be ok to pray for you and if there is anything else we can pray for. Later

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (4 hours, 59 minutes after post)

your email couldnt got thru. but yes it is ok =]

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notm offline Unverified User #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (5 hours after post)

I just set it up so it may take a few minutes

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (5 hours, 1 minute after post)

no look at your post it didnt go thru cuz u cant put emails on here

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notm offline Unverified User #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (5 hours, 2 minutes after post)

PochoRican200
@
TheFlamings
.Com

See if this gets thouth

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PochoRican200 offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (5 hours, 6 minutes after post)

yea that got thru thanks =]

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notm offline Unverified User #
US | 1 year, 9 months ago (5 hours, 13 minutes after post)

I am signing off for the night. Live in Dallas TX so it is late here. Be praying. Drop me a line if you want to talk. I don’t have all the answers either, but I would be happy to share what I have. The best thing I have is the God part. He loves you and you can talk to Him. “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” God promised it in the book of James and He hasn’t failed me yet.

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Patch the third offline Unverified User #
Dublin, 07, IE | 1 year, 9 months ago (2 days, 12 hours after post)

Why cant you just go for a trial period of six months or so,and tell your relatives this.If you’re going through a hard time, they will understand.A fresh start,and a new adventure might be ideal.Most importantly,speak with them.Let them know whats on your mind.I’m sure it wont damage your relationship with them if you set everything out before them.Don’t rush into anything and it will all unfold pleasantly

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