life help: i always new i was different, i with some help from my mum was - Help.com

i always new i was different, i with some help from

my mum was able to remember long numbers64279141540858 means somthing very important but i do not to this day now what, i found out my dad was adopted and his real pearants were sombody important. for some reason i got it into my head they were like royalty, well i was young

after my pearents split up i found myself playing the young thug, after 2 children homes 1 where it would seem i was given mind controling drugs, the other where i was fondled by a male teacher i became extremely possesive about the whelfare of my own children, and my family unit, i would do anything to protect it as i had learnt i could only trust my mum.

i got great comfort from driving to the length that my best friend graham and i would drive around for miles and miles, we were friends dispite what others might have thought. i met my best other friend David greenway when i was about 16 - 18 and like graham we would just drive for miles.

when i was 17 i has a very bad bike crash, after approx 2 months in rsch i came out to find my mate david greenway was dead after an overdose, i new he was a drugy but did not know how bad it was.

i met my wife after a few blind dates, we seemed to click from the start, so we marred after a short time. before we married i was a rather older virgin desperate to prove to myself i was not gay, as to me this broke 1 of the 10 commandments, somethibg i hold very dear well the ones i can remember. and yes i guess i was giving out let me **** you to everbody, i did not touch anybody, whilst i lot it to my wife we did not marry as virgins, it was a clumsy encounter across the front seat of my car.

we engaged as any other couple would very active in our first 2 years, but then came don the **** stirrer from hell!, caused no end of problems when i showed my sister inn law some brotherly affection.

accusing me of acting innapproperatly, so just like i has learnt at school i flew!
daring anybody to prove it! it seem’d to me that emma needed a loving brother as was being ignored by her mum.

teach the children well let them lead the way………became a song to live by.

this took a lot of energy out of me!

bout a year later we tried for our first child we named him who had a hard time comming out after my friend, david life was all rosey

a short while later mark was born by section, so now i had my family ! life was good!
we played lots classical music, did the family thing! and were happy.

i spent a lot of money on a car that was bodgly repaired my lex guildford 800 quid and the car was worse as this effected the finances within the family i got stressed and misrable, i think my wife talked me out of it eventually, but as it effected the family unit i stressed out,

so we plodded along moved across guildford to get our son david into the right school !
a short while after david started school we were called to the school to discuss ways to make things better for him as he was not setteling in 2 or 3 times we were called to the school to a threat of expulsion to the point we took him to see a family member for help, bringining out my past the advise was to go to the school and spill out the beans, how i went to one of the children homes where kids were abused
i was so stressed i had to read from a sheet, i had no idea how bad things hag got until the bane of my life social services called with a list of things david had said and done, 1 in particular was not true?

so once again in an attempt to be constructive i read from a song sheet coplaining why nothing had been done having a go at social services for doing little to help recording in case i missed somthing. as i thought imight need high up help i took a copy to his last school as we was called amongst other things happy david.

we all had a cry and most people said the school too big where as i was sure david was happy, he walked to school like a dog on heat! head up sholders back etc.

so i read through some stuff i had been writing down and found 16/1 was withdrawn and misrable, 18? january was reported tohavesaid ‘want tojump off roof! well bollox! he didnot know anyting about it he was a happy samboy that day and wheb suggested he wanted to jump off the roof his reply ‘how could i get on the roof without a ladder, he was more interested in algebra.

so once againi read though told school of our values and happy happy aproach to life and found myself in a poor position where i had almost threatened the school as it clearly pointed the finger at one member of staff
possible wanting to pushout thebboy from the wrog side of town.

desperate not to be correct i spent 3 days walking around looking for the answer, but it would seem there is not one. by my definision

stuck in a loop of do anything to move on i seeked medical help in the nick of time bp 200/115
who knows have a program to use hypnosis type ofthings in hospital to train good behaviour / to look at yourself.

i am sure it is caught up with my school life as i am now stuck in hospital looking like a mad person, although there test show little wrong, i have been left thinking i have a wire in my heart and a vein full of air.

all i ever wanted to do was to hold together my family, teach them well etc.

who can help!

as per my prior meeting with the school i went back, got an apology from the school, we all moved on learnt somthing, and after my seeing MY OWN doctor i learnt family life and how to control my possive nature towrds my family

This open post was written 9 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 80, 2, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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