college help: Okay, I haven’t been on this site in a while, but I need - Help.com

nikkidance
offline Verified (1 year, 11 months) Visit nikkidance's shoutbox
US

Okay, I haven’t been on this site in a while, but I need somewhere to vent, so here goes…

Okay, I’m now a freshman in college, and in high school I did a lot of stupid things. I cut myself, I made myself throw up, and was hospitalized twice for depression and being suicidal. Well, for well over a year I’ve stopped doing anything self-destructive, but now that I’m away at college things started to get stressful again. In the beginning of the year I started making throwing up again to help myself relax, and around a month later I started cutting myself again. I stopped throwing up, but I kept cutting. Well, in October one of my closest friends came up to visit me and I tried to hide my cuts but she noticed, and after a long talk with her I promised I would never cut again. I’ve kept that promise because she means a lot to me and I don’t want to dissapoint her again, but there have been SOO many times when I have been tempted to cut, and yesterday I went as far as breaking a razor. I know that soon I’m going to end up breaking my promise, but I just don’t know what else to do. Cutting helps me relax and it calms me down. Advice?

This open post was written 11 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 292, 8, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post nikkidance may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. nikkidance is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 11 months and has 5 posts and 25 replies to their name.

Post Tags (9)

college, promise, Cut, cutting, lot, Throwing, Breaking, Vent, Relax (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (8)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 7 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 11 months, 1 week ago (0 minutes after post)

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and
confidential assistance. While other Help.com users are likely to reply
to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help.com
falls under our TOS.

Note: I’m a robot that the Help.com staff created. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.

L.u.Ck.y Luckylove offline Verified User (1 year, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 1 week ago (4 minutes after post)

ive never cut myself so i dont know how it’s like, but DONT EVER destroy youreslef because of stress. i tell you, it wont change anything.. all it will do is make you feel like cutting yourself more! yes, life is tough, but i suggest you ask that friend for advice. confide in her. she will help you, or just go to your parents and ask THEM for help. trust me, cutting yourself doesnt help anything :D

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: I think something’s wrong with me…
SMO the zombie offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
Seguin, TX, US | 11 months, 1 week ago (5 minutes after post)

Getting rid of all your knifes, worked for me..

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Wow i’ve been a member here for a year now?
nikkidance offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
US | 11 months, 1 week ago (15 minutes after post)

You’re right that cutting only makes you want to cut more. And, I have called my friend a few times when I had a mental breakdown which I was not proud of. I CAN’T go to my parents, because if I do I’m afraid that they’ll make me come back home and go back to therapy. I spent half ofmy high school years in therapy and I don’t plan on going back. The stupid part about this is that I know it is possible for me to stop cutting. I mean I did go over a year without any self-destructive behavior. *Sigh* but when I get anxious or nervous, I can’t calm myself down, and cutting does that for me. See, in high school, I cut because I was depressed, now I want to cut to help me relax. I’m sorry if I’m just ranting and not making any sense, like I said I’m just not sure what I should do, because a part of me doesn’t want to stop cutting at all, even though I know it’s wrong and that in the end it will make me feel worse. I feel like I’m in some vicious cycle that I created.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: I don’t know what to do anymore!
L.u.Ck.y Luckylove offline Verified User (1 year, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 1 week ago (18 minutes after post)

nah your not ranting. i guess you cant pretty much go back after cutting- but the thing is, i know wat you mean… you know you can stop cutting, but you just think, “but if i just cut this one time, ill be all relaxed” well, you might be, but tell yourself that if you do that, your life can be very complicated. also, try another stresss-relief program. if you dont like therapy, then dont do it. do something you feel comfortable doing. I dunno what you like to do, but think about it!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: I think something’s wrong with me…
nikkidance offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
US | 11 months, 1 week ago (50 minutes after post)

Usually, when I want to cut I try to calm myself down by going on youtube or something and distracting myself. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Like the other day when I broke the razor. I told myself I was going to cut so I broke the razor so I could get the blade out. Well, once I got the blade out I felt better. You said that you’ve never cut before, so I don’t know if you ever have tried to take the blade off a razor, but trust me it isn’t easy. I don’t know, I’m defintely cutting myself again for different reasons then when I was in high school. But, I guess that’s just how it is as you get older.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: I don’t know what to do anymore!
shruti_25 offline Verified User (11 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

It is good that you try to distract yourself bu going to youtubr or something! Try some other ways which will distract you fully and stop you from hurting yourself!Try deep breathing or have you heard about Yoga,it helps! Try something like that!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
hisfireroar offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (3 weeks, 5 days after post)

I am ready to cut again myself and I swolled a whole bottle of aspirin. I didn’t eat anything but I drank some wine. It only made me sick but I didn’t pass out enough or die.
My family doesn’t know. I need to cut to relax and feel safe.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This account has been deactivated.

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.