life help: This is really getting ridiculous.

♥Miki♥

This is really getting ridiculous.

Ok, so I’m not sure if most of you know, but I suffer from Severe Anxiety Disorder. I have panic attacks, (or “its” as I’ve decided to call them recently) frequently, and it ties in with a lot of other mental health issues I’ve had for a few years. I also have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), Bi-Polar Mood Disorder, Delayed Psychosocial Disorder, Minor Borderline Agrophobia, and Clinical Depression. Surprisingly though, I’m not on any medication for it. I’m usually posting here on help.com to give advice rather than make my own posts. The few times I have, they’ve been far between, or just random poetry. However, I’m in a real rut right now.

Recently at the beginning of the year, I tried moving from my parents house into my own, needless to say, that didn’t happen. I had a severe series “its” within the first 5 hours of being there. Not that it helped the place was in the roughest area of the city and I was told I couldn’t even walk around the house without the risk of someone breaking in and using me as either a free prostitute, a violent stress relief, or both they could have left me dead. After 20 minutes of moving in.

I ended up moving back in with my parents the next day, and as a result of that, I was told I had to give my new puppy to a shelter because my parents didn’t want him back at the house because it was difficult putting the car in an out of the garage. With him gone, it still feels like something’s missing, and not having things back the way they were, I’ve taken 100 steps back in my health.

I don’t consider myself psychotic or “crazy” I mean, define normal? However I do know, and I’m aware that I can not handle hearing or experiancing things a lot of people can. Though, I do function pretty well MOST of the time. The last 4 weeks, have not been one of those times.

Since then, I’ve had daily “its”, cannot eat even if I force myself to, and have barely left the house. I had an appointment with a counsellor this morning (I’m in Australia, it’s Wednesday morning here) which I had to travel to the city for. It’s through a service to do with social security benifits to get me “back into the workforce”. Not like I’ve actually ever been in it to begin with, unless you can count 3 days at Burger King before getting fired for ending up in a teen mental health hospital the night before my shift.

Anyways, I’m rambling, my mind is going 50 miles per minute right now. I had an “it” this morning in the car, my parents were driving me into the city and I just started screaming. I couldn’t handle the idea of me leaving the house. Before my attempted move, I had been going so well, it had been 4 months since I’d had even ONE “it”. Now, it feels as if I’ll never get back to that stage again.

I’ve been advised going on Zoloft. I’ve been on it before, but not for my anxiety, I began taking it for “fun” initially when I was doing drugs in my teen years. The major reason for my mental health issues these days. (Kids, NEVER do drugs.) I decided it would be “fun” if me and my friends could get high off of it. So I went to my doctor, faked depression to get tham prescribed. Yeah, I know. Karma’s a b*tch and I probably deserve all this. However, it looks as if I may have no choice now, and it’s scaring the life out of me.

I always promised myself I would never get to be like the rest of my family. Now, it looks as if I’m destined to be labelled as insane for the rest of my life. And I hate it. I can handle the flashbacks, I can handle the mood swings, I just want these darn “its” to stop, they’re ruining my life. Even if I can just go back to having 2-3 a year it’d be so much better than every single stupid day.

I don’t mean to sound childish and whiney. I’m usually the one with the smiling face saying everything is okay. I NEVER complain about my issues and am always trying to help others. Right now though, I can’t pretend anymore. It’s getting to the point where I’m having to put my entire dream career out of mind and it’s killing me to do that. All because I can’t leave the house to go to a measley class once a week or get on a stupid plane.

I hate this. :’(

This open post was written 1 year, 10 months ago | V/U/S: 502, 10, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post ♥Miki♥ may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. ♥Miki♥ is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 1 month and has 15 posts and 649 replies to their name.

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City, Mind, life, Force, house, Week, anxiety, Mental Health, Year, Day, Panic, scared (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (10)

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Yrja 2 #
Reykjav�k, 10, IS | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 hour, 22 minutes after post)

small steps. As you know, things don’t happen overnight.

All I can do is give you advice based on my own experiences. But it will be something you can USE:

1) Natural medicine. I don’t like taking anti anxiety medicine or anti depressants either so my phyciatrist recommended this. For me, it actually does work. We need omega fatty acids into us (for depression and anxiety) so here goes. This is what I take every day:

omega forte (1000 mg) - http://www.lysi.eu/ConsumerProducts/O…
Lipoic acid (100 mg)
co-enzyme Q10 (30 mg)

3x omega forte every morning with breakfast
3x omega forte + 1x lipoic acid + 1x co-enzyme Q10 every night with dinner.

This has actually helped me. A lot. The thing is you have to be patient. It won’t stop working until 4-6 weeks after you start taking it. And this is all natural. most of it is omega, wich is basically a substance taken from fatty fish.

2) go to a therapist - an educated specialist. Take a loan if you need to. That’s at least what I did and I don’t regret it. It’s rough an all…but he/she helps you deal with all these problems.. (get a reference if you know somebody going to a “good” one)

3) See a homeopath - find out what you should eat and what you shouldn’t. This all effects how you deal with your problem. Your mental state.

4) Right…this might sound wierd but… see a healer. This worked for me at least. A healer helps you direct your energy… keep you balance.

5) Force yourself to go out at least once every day. Socially. Meeting people.

6) start every day by looking in the mirror giving yourself one fault (outloud) but follow it with 3 praises. Example: “I’m a social retard BUT I’m intelligent, unique and strong. (you may allow yourself only 1 FAULT and whenever you drag yourself down you HAVE to follow it up with 3 praises).

that’s all I have for now…I hope you can use some (any) of it. But well, every individual finds his/her way and perhaps my way is not your’s…I hope it’ll be of some help though. At least just to acnowledge that I HEAR YOU :) I’m here and I hear you.

Good luck

small steps. As you know, things don't happen overnight.

All I can do is give you advice based on my own experiences. But it will be something you can USE:

1) Natural medicine. I don't like taking anti anxiety medicine or anti depressants either so my phyciatrist recommended this. For me, it actually does work. We need omega fatty acids into us (for depression and anxiety) so here goes. This is what I take every day:

omega forte (1000 mg) - http://www.lysi.eu/ConsumerProducts/Omega3FishOil/Omega3FORTE/
Lipoic acid (100 mg)
co-enzyme Q10 (30 mg)

3x omega forte every morning with breakfast
3x omega forte + 1x lipoic acid + 1x co-enzyme Q10 every night with dinner.

This has actually helped me. A lot. The thing is you have to be patient. It won't stop working until 4-6 weeks after you start taking it. And this is all natural. most of it is omega, wich is basically a substance taken from fatty fish.

2) go to a therapist - an educated specialist. Take a loan if you need to. That's at least what I did and I don't regret it. It's rough an all...but he/she helps you deal with all these problems.. (get a reference if you know somebody going to a "good" one)

3) See a homeopath - find out what you should eat and what you shouldn't. This all effects how you deal with your problem. Your mental state.

4) Right...this might sound wierd but... see a healer. This worked for me at least. A healer helps you direct your energy... keep you balance.

5) Force yourself to go out at least once every day. Socially. Meeting people.

6) start every day by looking in the mirror giving yourself one fault (outloud) but follow it with 3 praises. Example: "I'm a social retard BUT I'm intelligent, unique and strong. (you may allow yourself only 1 FAULT and whenever you drag yourself down you HAVE to follow it up with 3 praises).

that's all I have for now...I hope you can use some (any) of it. But well, every individual finds his/her way and perhaps my way is not your's...I hope it'll be of some help though. At least just to acnowledge that I HEAR YOU :) I'm here and I hear you.

Good luck

Help me with: I just have to share this with ye…haha

Locke 1 #
Niceville, FL, US | 1 year, 10 months ago (4 hours, 23 minutes after post)

Yes, do get out in public often; do something, once a day, no matter how trivial. Get some sun. Try taking up a sport, something light, or just go walking. Having a pet seems to have helped you; see if you can’t get your parents to agree to having one of some species in the house.

♥Miki♥ 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (5 hours, 36 minutes after post)

Thank you guys. Sadly though, this day has gone from bad to worse. I recieved a letter from the shelter just earlier telling me Montana (my puppy) is “unsuitable for us to rehome and it due for euthanasia” The reason? he has ringworms, which he did NOT have while here.

I do have another pet, Locke. A four-year-old cat. And while she’s comforting at times, I can’t expect her to be there for me all the time. Whereas my pup was always comfort and always wanting attention (as most dogs). My parents have tried calling the family who sold him to me to see if they’ll find him a new home if we collect him out of the shelter.

I’m 21-years-old. I’m not a child and yet my parents are treating me like one at the moment. Like I have no responsibilites. It wasn’t as if I wasn’t looking after him, I had his shots from the vet, I took him for walks, I made sure he was safe and never expected them to do anything for me regarding him.

I guess I’m just feeling a lot of mixed emotions at the moment. Like I said before, I’m the type to put everyone else first. I’d rather make myself miserable to make someone else happy. Maybe that’s a bad trait, but it’s just the way I am. Lately though, I’m just so sick of my mom taking advantage of me and using her little victim act as if she’s the one suffering the burden of me. I know my mother too well and she’s the type that wants to fix the problem only IF it’s bothering her.

Help me with: My Epiphany

Yrja 2 #
Reykjav�k, 10, IS | 1 year, 10 months ago (10 hours, 1 minute after post)

I TRULY understand you. This was me about 5 years ago. You can get out of this. It just yakes a lot of hard work. A LOT of hard work.

They treat you as a child because you let them. Reclaim your individuality. People start treating other people like children if they seem too vaulnerable… if they don’t trust them to make their own decisions. You moved out and moved in the next day. They’re your parents. They worry about you. It’s a part of their job description to worry about you. What you have to do is show them that you can make your own decisions, that they can trust you to take care of yourself. This does not happen over night. Like I said…it takes time, patience and a lot of work. Courage.

“I’d rather make myself miserable to make someone else happy”
This is not doing ANYBODY a favour…not you or anybody around you. You think their lives will be better if you just BEHAVE… I know that nothing I say will change your mind on this… but :)…I’ve been there… up until about 3-4 years ago (and I still struggle with this naturally)… I can promise you that this misconception is a part of what’s making you and everybody else around you miserable. You can not control what sort of day they’re having… You just CAN’T. and if you’re making yourself miserable to make somebody happy well then…. nobody’s happy. PLEASE… go to a therapist and work on this… I know this sounds like all of the BS people keep feeding you (or so it seems to you I’m sure)…. It’s not JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. If you keep believing that then you’ll be stuck in this mess. You’ll only feel worse and worse. Yer doing and thinking things way backwards.

ok if you don’t want to go to therapy (wich you absoloutely have to) go to an ALANON meeting at least, and just listen. You have loads of co dependancy issues… and just listening to other people with a similar mind frame can help.

You have painted yourself into a corner and you are the only one that can get yerself out of that corner.

Talk to your parents. Tell them how you feel…how you really feel… I know it sounds like “that would mean the end of the civilized world as we know it” … but you have to. People can surprise you. You think you know excactly how they view you but you probably don’t have the slightest idea, because you’re stuck in your corner… It’s very hard to see things clearly from the corner.

I’m sorry about your puppy. Truly.

I TRULY understand you. This was me about 5 years ago. You can get out of this. It just yakes a lot of hard work. A LOT of hard work.

They treat you as a child because you let them. Reclaim your individuality. People start treating other people like children if they seem too vaulnerable... if they don't trust them to make their own decisions. You moved out and moved in the next day. They're your parents. They worry about you. It's a part of their job description to worry about you. What you have to do is show them that you can make your own decisions, that they can trust you to take care of yourself. This does not happen over night. Like I said...it takes time, patience and a lot of work. Courage.

"I’d rather make myself miserable to make someone else happy"
This is not doing ANYBODY a favour...not you or anybody around you. You think their lives will be better if you just BEHAVE... I know that nothing I say will change your mind on this... but :)...I've been there... up until about 3-4 years ago (and I still struggle with this naturally)... I can promise you that this misconception is a part of what's making you and everybody else around you miserable. You can not control what sort of day they're having... You just CAN'T. and if you're making yourself miserable to make somebody happy well then.... nobody's happy. PLEASE... go to a therapist and work on this... I know this sounds like all of the BS people keep feeding you (or so it seems to you I'm sure).... It's not JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. If you keep believing that then you'll be stuck in this mess. You'll only feel worse and worse. Yer doing and thinking things way backwards.

ok if you don't want to go to therapy (wich you absoloutely have to) go to an ALANON meeting at least, and just listen. You have loads of co dependancy issues... and just listening to other people with a similar mind frame can help.

You have painted yourself into a corner and you are the only one that can get yerself out of that corner.

Talk to your parents. Tell them how you feel...how you really feel... I know it sounds like "that would mean the end of the civilized world as we know it" ... but you have to. People can surprise you. You think you know excactly how they view you but you probably don't have the slightest idea, because you're stuck in your corner... It's very hard to see things clearly from the corner.

I'm sorry about your puppy. Truly.

Help me with: I just have to share this with ye…haha

theresape 4 #
Waltham, MA, US | 1 year, 10 months ago (17 hours, 41 minutes after post)

Skye,

Mental illness is so much more common than most people think. The good thing is that the conditions you mention are very often treatable by medication. Just make sure you would with a really good psychiatrist who monitors you very closely and follows up doggedly until your dosage is exactly right. I know this is a cliche, but NOT doing so would be like refusing to take insulin for diabetes or dilantin for seizures. There’s no reason in the world not to make yourself as well as you can.

That’s very sad about your pup. Is there any chance your parents will relent?

Help me with: ARGH, NOT AGAIN!

normen 5 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (1 day, 10 hours after post)

i wish you well. you will make it.

Help me with: help me find a job or help me create one

This reply has been removed.

theresape 4 #
Waltham, MA, US | 1 year, 10 months ago (4 days, 13 hours after post)

Vaj,

Probably not such a great idea to be promoting illegal drugs on here–especially to someone who has diagnosed mood disorders.

Skye, DON’T take this person’s recommendation. For someone with bipolar disorder and other brain disorders, the LAST thing in the world you want is to be experimenting with illegal (or even legal, bt not prescribed for you) drugs. The wrong combination can cause psychosis.

You don’t want to be psychotic and delusional, do you?

We had to take a member of my family to a mental hospital TWICE for this–it really disrupted his life.

Help me with: ARGH, NOT AGAIN!

normen 5 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (5 days, 15 hours after post)

I do not know what to say. just cool down and take it one by one. I really sympathise with you. ( i believe its not sympathy that you want but solutions.) i read Yrja’s advice to you and think it is excellent run with it. I identify with the writeron the advice to seek natural remedies .Homeopathic drugs will be of great use for you. i advice you to look for a good homeopathic practtioner and request for the drugs under the trade mark’ Dr. Reckeweg’ . these homeopathic drugs are very effective since they use the body’s own healing systems to effect cure.You can browse for Dr. Reckeweg from the internet and also contact somebody possibly a homeopath on the following e-mail (email removed) you may ask him all your guestions and i believe you will get answers and move foward towards total solution to your challenge soon. Be an overcommer.

Help me with: help me find a job or help me create one

Teddybear 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 9 months ago (2 weeks, 2 days after post)

Hi Skye,
I understand about anxiety attacks. I use to suffer from them many years ago when I went off sleeping pills.
It feeds on itself after awhile. It’s a very terrible experience to have to go through.
I agree with Yrja with the Omega 3 supplements. I’ve never tried the other 2 she suggested but I think I’ll keep them on hand just in case I ever get another attack.

Also, you could try massage therapy. A simple theraputic full body Swedish massage can do wonders at calming down turbulences going on inside. If you can afford to have it done, then do so. Make sure the therapist is a certified/licensed practitioner though.
Although Zoloft helped me some, it was the massage therapy that balanced me.

Just a suggestion.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know how scary anxiety can be.

Help me with: I’m in a dilema about where I should move.

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