girl help: i just met this girl - Help.com

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What’s to break off… Friends are a precious thing. Be friends. If it ends up more… YAY! If not… You have a lovely friend who picks you up when you’re down. XX

Personally I think you should distance yourself from her unless you want to become a home wrecker. I know lots of people always say that all is fair in love and war, but it really isn’t.

Tell her what you told us. Tell her that she has a boyfriend, and that you’re sorry, but you can’t hang out with her anymore unless she wasn’t with him, because it’s wrong. It’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to her boyfriend for her to have feelings for both of you and put you both in the same position. If she does have feelings for you, she needs to make up her mind. I was in the boyfriend’s position at one point, and my ex left me for the other girl, a mutual friend at that! Believe it or not, the problems we had were so minimal that we could have worked them out over time, I guess he just didn’t want to wait and we were both at different places in our lives. Anyway, he started talking to this friend about things he didn’t tell me, and I saw the chemistry between the two and called him out on it. Well the relationship is over now and I’ve moved on, but they’re happily still together.

I guess my point is this…. she’s cheating on her boyfriend whether she knows it or not, and it’s not fair. She needs to decide if she wants you as a boyfriend or just a friend, and at which time if she decided friend, she needs to act like that. You have to take the initiative to talk to her and let her know what she’s doing, and basically let her know if she can’t just be friends then she’s going to have to dump the boyfriend or you’re going to be moving on. Try not to give her an ultimatum, but she does need to decide what she wants to do.

Wait, isn’t she moving anyway??? Just let her move, you probably won’t hear from her again after that.

Twizzlenic wrote:
What’s to break off… Friends are a precious thing. Be friends. If it ends up more… YAY! If not… You have a lovely friend who picks you up when you’re down. XX

Lrenah wrote:
Personally I think you should distance yourself from her unless you want to become a home wrecker. I know lots of people always say that all is fair in love and war, but it really isn’t.

Tell her what you told us. Tell her that she has a boyfriend, and that you’re sorry, but you can’t hang out with her anymore unless she wasn’t with him, because it’s wrong. It’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to her boyfriend for her to have feelings for both of you and put you both in the same position. If she does have feelings for you, she needs to make up her mind. I was in the boyfriend’s position at one point, and my ex left me for the other girl, a mutual friend at that! Believe it or not, the problems we had were so minimal that we could have worked them out over time, I guess he just didn’t want to wait and we were both at different places in our lives. Anyway, he started talking to this friend about things he didn’t tell me, and I saw the chemistry between the two and called him out on it. Well the relationship is over now and I’ve moved on, but they’re happily still together.

I guess my point is this…. she’s cheating on her boyfriend whether she knows it or not, and it’s not fair. She needs to decide if she wants you as a boyfriend or just a friend, and at which time if she decided friend, she needs to act like that. You have to take the initiative to talk to her and let her know what she’s doing, and basically let her know if she can’t just be friends then she’s going to have to dump the boyfriend or you’re going to be moving on. Try not to give her an ultimatum, but she does need to decide what she wants to do.

Lrenah wrote:
Wait, isn’t she moving anyway??? Just let her move, you probably won’t hear from her again after that.