friends help: my ex boyfriends just died - Help.com

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Hi, sorry to hear about your ex, this must be very hard for you,first of all you are not to blame for hes death,people make up there own minds up. Hes sister is just griving and looking for someone to blame, and deep inside she knows this is not your fault.really think you should talk to your famliy and friends and seek some professional help.

Dont blame yourself. Everybody is responsible for themselves and the path they chose to take in life. You obviously still hold him very dear in your heart. Dont jump to conclusions. His family are grieving, and the natural course of action for that is blame most of the time. Dont take this personally. Talk, to your friends, your family, and if you feel you cant do this yet, then please make sure you talk here, or anywhere else you feel confortable.

I am very sorry to hear of the pain and suffering you are all feeling, nothing can take the pain away, but talking about it can help.

You didn’t let anyone down. Its not your fault.

You should tell your friends. You need the help and support whilse grieving.

Hey,

People when they’re grieving say all sorts of stupid irrational things. When you’re bereaved, you feel anxious and helpless and you look for some form of explanation for what happened. When nothing seems to make sense, then it’s very common for the immediate family of the deceased to create ‘explanations’ for why it happened. You can never win. Had you been his girlfriend at the time he died, they may have said that God killed him off to get him away from you!

Please try to forget all of that stupid banter and focus on yourself though for a minute. You’ve lost somebody who had been extremely close to you and also a good friend. You should definitely find out details as to how it happened, for your own sanity and to put closure on the matter. If it was suicide, the fact that this guy was still friends with you suggests that there were definitely other areas of his life that he was unhappy with.

Once you are armed with the facts, I cannot suggest bereavement counselling enough. You have nothing to be ashamed about AT ALL. You’re not a murderer; you never chose to take his life and if anything you were there for him as a friend and he could have confided in you.

I would definitely talk about what’s happened to a handful of very close friends who you trust. I only say this because you’re 15 and I know what kids are like at that age. The last thing you need is stupid rumours flying around school. Death is also a very private thing and you need time and space to grieve. You do need to let this off your chest though and your friends will be able to support you.

Please feel free to add me as a friend and shout me anytime. I also have helpline numbers galore (general and suicide) for the UK and US. Time is a great healer. You need to be patient and strong right now because that’s what he would have wanted.

All the very best of luck,
Farah :)

hi im sorry to hear that but its not your fault,talk to your friends as you will need them at this time.but do not blame yourself.

RaverBarbie wrote:
You didn’t let anyone down. Its not your fault.

You should tell your friends. You need the help and support whilse grieving.

I totally agree with raverbarbie ,I’m sorry to hear that but his death had nothing to do with you , his sister in a very bad condition now & she wants to blame anyone to get her sadness out .

I agree with everyone has said so far, in not your fault you had noway of knowing what he would do. How do his sister know that break up cause his death? But it still not your fault, he make that choice.

His sister it really hurting right now and she trying to make some sense out of this.

If there could be one person who would grieve with this loss aside from his family, it would be you. Understand that his sister is hurting so much and wished she could have done something to prevent it to happen. But in truth, no one could prevent it. When it is time, it is time. Grieve all you can my dear. A time to hold on, and one day… to let go. Take care.

****,, courtney im so sorry for not being here for you,, i dont want you to blame yourself its not your fault. he should of spoke to someone,, this thing im sorry to say happens quite often and atm there are alot of suicides happening, when one happens other people have so it gives them the guts to do it. Im here and i know its gunna be hard for you but dont hold it in. Your a close mate and i dont want this to encourage you to do the same type of things im here night or day just a phone call away lurvee ya :D xxxxxxxx

how can you blame yourself? his death was by his own accord, i know what its like to deal with death, and its one thing you should never face on your own, it’ll only eat you inside, and i agree with curses, nobody wants you to blame yourself, because for you to do the same thing (which i hope your not thinking about), will only create more suffering and a total waste of your future. your 15 and have the whole of your life ahead of you. but for the present i strongly recommend you confide in someone, yes, it will be hard to open up and just spill your guts out on the whole situation, i’ve been there, but bottleing it up, will push your own self-destruct button, because he was obviously very dear to you, or you wouldn’t feel as strongly to blame yourself for his own doing. his sister is doing what i did, searched and searched for someone to blame, but deep down knowing there is only one person, and thats him, yes he may have had his reasons, but suicide help lines aren’t just there for the fun of it, there are loads of people who could’ve and wanted to help him, just like you. at the end of the day, he made the choice, and he’s in a better place, but what has it achieved? his family and your suffering, so how can you blame yourself. He shouldn’t have gave up, and i sypathise for his disbeilief in himself for him thinking, that he wasn’t strong enought to fight against whatever it was that was bringing him down, may he be at peace now. and you stay strong to, you can get through it, and i’m here if you need me
love
Holly_xxx