school help: I want to leave my husband. - Help.com

I feel bad for you, I can kind of understand where you are comeing from. If life is that bad and you want to get out then you are going to have to do it. Do you have any friends or family that can help you?

Abuse is a crime. Physical, verbal, emotional. Self esteem issues and finding solace in food are easy things for people to offer advice about and often difficult things to take action on. Only you can make whatever changes you want in your life. You have to know what you want, then figure out how to get to where you want to be in your life. Be what you want to be, not what your husband dictates.
Change isn’t easy and usually involves hard work and determination. The changes you make must be the changes you want, for yourself, for your happiness, for you to feel good about yourself. Don’t listen to your a$$hole husband. Be what YOU want to be.

Connie,

If you had super powers who would you want to be? You have already stated that you do not like feeling ’stuck’, so how do you want to feel? You have also mentioned that you weigh 450+ and you can’t get in the car to take the kids to school, certainly this is not what you had planned for yourself. If you could make changes in yourself to improve your situation what would you change?

Your husband sounds like a pr!****, and it appears to me that you would like to make some changes in your life. YOU CAN DO whatever you need to, you just have to make up your mind. I have some other suggestions, but I do not know you and don’t want you to feel overwhelmed. However as a single woman with 3 kids I have overcome a lot so I can tell you that anything, ANYTHING is possible.
Chin-up this post was the beginning.
:-D
S

Hello Connie, I feel sorry on the hurt you must be feeling to day and the past years. You are being violated and it is no fun at all. I just wish you are receiving the support of your children despite what treatment they see their father is giving you.

I don’t have an idea how you could start anew if you’ll leave him, but it is not too late. It will be late if you are not going to act starting today.

Call anyone in your family or a friend. Recall any connection you can find. Plan entirely the process and make plan B or C if the first incase the first one would not work.

Connie
You have complete control, you are who you say you are, you are what you think you are. If you are up for an experiment, try this: Every time a thought about your being over weight comes into your head, replace the thought with one about your ideal weight (whatever that is), and you tell yourself that you are already that weight and that you can be that weight and eat whatever you want. DO NOT THINK FAT THOUGHTS… if one creeps in, kick it out, try it for a few days and see how you feel… This is about you, not your pecker headed husband. YOU CAN DO IT! And you do not have to have surgery to make it happen, if you need encouragement come back here.
S

Hi Connie do you have a “family Crisis” in your town? if not look for one close to you. all of these are here to help abused woman and men if the need arises. physically and mentally.They will also provide counsling for you and your children if they need it free of charge. they’ll help with your options and discuss new housing with you and ect. i’m sorry to hear about your wieght. Mine drives me crazy to. Food depression and mental abuse do not help. Have you talked to a doctor about an appitite supressant?

Conniemay. I have a sister that is so verbably and emotionally abused. She is like looking at someone I have known all my life but don’t reckonize anymore. People that beat you down and put you down are only using you as an excuse for not liking themselves. Her husband is very cruel when drunk.(Almost always) She doesn’t even remember what she enjoys in life anymore. Your right though, prisions are full of women that were desperate to end their torment. See a therepist, they can help you loads, and you can get all kinds of aid with children, home, and mental help, manage your wieght, to improve your self esteem. You can go on to the happy person you want to be.

Your not lost Connie,we found you.LoL Your husband is obviously insensitive and non-supportive.So don’t expect him to be.It is wise for you to get some support elsewhere.But get all you can.Overeaters anon.any anon group or just the book can help greatly.Books on positive thinking to replace the negative thoughts you hear.I highly recommend Dr.Wayne Dyer to everyone as a second choice the first being The Bible.And Joyce Meyer is a minister but sooooo inspiring.Children don’t have prejidices unless they are taught them,that’s what I love about kids the most.Your husbands remarks are everlasting prints on their minds.It is damaging to them more than you know or think.They will have no respect for you until you stick up for yourself.And for others.It may have already started in school or play.

I won’t advice anyone to leave a marriage.Maybe it can be saved.Only you may know this.Ask yourself if he is willing to change this behavior,and ask yourself if your willing to change your eating habits and become a more self-assertive,stronger willed person.Either way it’s up to you to decide whether or not to seek professional help,counceling ,separation or divorce.Check out all the options first is what I’m saying.All the while,keeping the kids in mind in every step.

you know no matter how hard it is for you to do things you need to get out away from him and start being happy then you will be able to start loosing the weight, and , untill you can get on your feet the state can help you and the kids out, and you can always file for disibilty untill you cvan get on your feet

I’m soooo impressed,Good for you and KUDOS! Hope you still keep in touch here,Why do it alone if you don’t have to,right?

Yeah, no killing of your husband please. We can’t encourage that here!

There are too many other options available for ya. So if it comes down to that, leave him and take your kiddos with ya. The consequences that come after the other decision will not help you out at all and is definitely not worth it.

Good luck with your “getting in shape” plan. And get your kids involved. They will help keep you motivated and it’s a good way to spend quality time with them. Take walks together, plan healthy meals together and cook them together, go for bike rides, go to the park and play together, etc. Your kids will enjoy the time with you and you will be living a healthy lifestyle while teaching your kids the same good habits.

Hey lady,
Hope today is a better day. we or i should say you need a positive plan. last night i was thinking about you. so what would you like to do first? kick your husband to the curb or take advantage of this time to make things better health wise and be more ready to leave when the time does come? who cares what he says to you. look at this a finacial obligation for now. his obligation is to financially pay your bills while your still together. you have it in the bag. do you realize how many people are in your situation without spousle income? now check out caloriecount.com. this will help you with a starter plan. now how old are your children? are they over weight to? do you see them ever being over wieght. there are so many exercises you can do just sitting in your chair. biggestloose.com has some good ones. leslie samone is a great person to walk with right in your living room you can buy her at any wal-mart or target. and she has tapes for everyone any size. now back to this husband of your. why are you letting him control your mind like that woman? today is a new day. for your kids sake. not for his. if you leave now the judge may grant him full custody in the condition your in due to the fact you probrably are fully incompitant to take complete care of them. is this what you want? i didn’t think so! and how long do you think he’s going to live this way? your children will grow up!! that’s a fact and you are going to get older. that’s a fact. the question is where do you see yourself in one year? 6 months? one month? one week? since your have insurance see if it will cover you to go to dietition. this is a doctor for obese people. they can help you and if you do as they say you’d be amazed at what one week will do.